people say "If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you." And then one day you open up your heart and pour it all out and the reply is something like "Gee, I'm sorry. So anyway, yesterday I was at the mall and I bought a great outfilt!"
People should really say "If you ever want to talk about the good things or things that don't require much thought or emotional investment, I'm here for you." because really isn't that what they mean?
No one wants to talk about the bad stuff. I know that. I hate it too. But why is that? Becuase we can't compose the perfect thing to say in response? Or because somewhere deep down inside we want to fix everything and some things are unfixable? I don't know why ... I do know that I just need one person, just one single person, to just let me cry and let me get it out - and to not reply that they are sorry, or not reply with 5 steps to "make it better." Those 5 steps only exist in thought - they are not doable nor or things fixed that easily. Just tell me to let it out and look like you are listening to me, even if you aren't - as long as I can't tell, I don't really care!
I am just feeling selfish these days. I want a whole day to be about me ... all about me - where I don't have to worry about anyone else or the holidays or the house or the cough my children have that is progressively getting worse instead of better, or how my dh and living on a very fine line between borke and having a tiny bit of money to spend, or about where we will live in a year, or fixing up this house, or getting item x to point y, or where hte missing library books are, or anything like that!
I suppose I can have that ... in my dreams tonight LOL! =)
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