Tuesday, October 31, 2006

My children ...

My two girls have both thrown me for loops recently. Both on Sunday, merely hours apart.
First of all, in my 4 year old's Sunday School class, the teacher gave each student a quarter to give during offering time and gave the kids a chance to decide to give it or keep it. Well, my darling 4 year old decided to keep it. When I asked her why she said "Well, they would give me a bonus point if I gave it to Jesus, but mom, I already had 6 points so I decided to keep it."
Um. What? Obviously, she completely missed the whole entire idea of it. She thought the poing of giving it away would be to get one bonus point. Of course, the entire way home we talked about what the church does with that money that we give. We talked about how mom gave money in at church too because we have so much that we need to share all the wonderful things we have. I really thought she knew that already. And, actually when we were talking, she did show me she understood! The issue at Sunday School was that she thought she was giving the quarter only to get more points.
By the time we arrived home, we decided that next Sunday, we would bring the quarter back and give it, and she would even bring an extra quarter from her piggy bank, and I would give her a third quarter to give, and she is now VERY excited that she can give 3 quarters to the church, instead of just one.

Of course, that leaves me in a quandry with this Sunday School program. It seems to me that my initial reaction of being leary about this point system was really where I still stand today. I am very unhappy with the point system. My children are getting too caught up in the points they get, to really focus on what the teachers are trying to teach them. We have discussed, several times now, about how the points are not important - apparently 4 year old understood she wasn't there to get points, so she kept her quarter because she didn't care about the point (but obviously didn't understand there was more to giving than one point). At this point, I really feel like I need to discuss this feeling with those that run the program. I also heard on the car ride home from my 7 year old "Mom, next week I need to bring my Bible to Sunday School because we get points for that!"
Ugh. On one hand I want to tell her, nope, you are not bringing it because I don't think you need the points. At the same time, I want to say, well yes, it is important to bring your Bible if you plan on using it during Sunday School and aren't just bringing it as a show piece.
I guess the whole thing irks me because I can't for the life of me figure out why they introduced this point system in the first place. Sunday School was one of the few places were they weren't getting graded, earning points, earning prizes, etc. I think Sunday School is a bit above that, and now, well, we are struggling with trying to teach the kids to do things simply to do it and not for getting points.

Well, a few hours later I heard my 7 year old say to her cousin (who had just commented he liked the dancing he saw on tv) "Why? do you think that's doing the x word?" He looked at her like she grew two extra heads, ignored her, and kept watching. Now, I caught this and thought I knew what the "x word" was but knew I had to be wrong so I called her over and point blank asked her what it meant. She told me "you know mom, sex."
Crud. I wasn't wrong afterall - and no, I have NO idea why she thinks it's the "x word." I'm assuming she saw something on TV where someone was dancing and someone else must have commented that they were sexy. That's the only way I can figure out she thought the dancing was sex.
Well, of course, I then asked her if she knew what sex was. She shook her head no. We had all of a 2 minute conversation where I requested she did speak of things she didn't know about, and should she want to know about them, she can ask her father and me about it. She ended the conversation pretty quickly, to get back to the cousin who was visiting.
I felt really unsure about what to do ... I wanted to keep her there and have a talk with her, but at the same time, I knew she didn't want to do it just then with other kids at our house. Dh nad I have decided that sometime within the week, we will be sitting down with her to have a real conversation about the topic - one that will maybe last more than a few moments. I admit, I am nervous about this. I'm not sure what kind of questions she will ask and just how much information she will want to know. I guess on one hand, I'm thinking how come the topic didn't come up sooner? But here it is, in our life, and we will deal with it. But I admit, they'll be some butterflies in my stomach during this conversation!

Ah, the joys of the children growing up!

Monday, October 30, 2006

The internet ...

The internet used to be my refuge, my place to go to "talk" with adults each day, to learn about current events and what other moms were doing or thinking, to get the latest celebrity gossip, or learn about the status of world events.
I LOVED being able to go on the internet ... my family used to tease me (okay, they still do tease me) that I'm addicted to the internet and would probably explode should I not be able to check my e-mails every 10 minutes.
[I'd like to note here that I have gone entire weekends without checking e-mails and my head is still in one piece thank you very much. Now, a whole week of no e-mail, well, I don't know if that's doable!]
We used to live in a neighborhood where I didn't know my neighbors. There was a language barrier there, and although they were nice and a few of them even tried to talk to me (which I appreciated) we never did get past formalities of how are you, how is your day, great, bye. Mostly because very few spoke any english and I don't speak spanish that well.
So I was, to put it bluntly, lonely. I turned to an on-line world of message boards and e-mails. And then a few years ago, turned to blogging. At first only reading one message board ... and at my peak, posting and participating on 7 message boards at once! Now the number is lower and slowly dropping again ....
I began by reading a small number of blogs from people I knew on one message board, and today it has exploded into over 100 blogs read by me (no, not all on the same day!).
But lately, the internet has not been that wonderful place I once thought it was. Many past internet friends have gotten non-internet lives .... dropping e-mail addresses, no more postings on message boards, blogs deleted.
From another message board I recieved an anonymous e-mail telling me to stop posting there since apparently Ms. I-am-too-chicken-to-e-mail-you-under-my-actual-e-mail-address was speaking "on behalf of the entire board." And yes, I read the e-mail as I rolled my eyes, I knew it was probably some snert who read the most recent debate and took advantage of it, and probably not even someone who actual posts on that board, well, I had to think - is this really the kind of e-mail I want to recieve? Is this what I want to read?
Well, no, not really. Granted, I have opinions and I like to debate topics, but I don't generally like to be mean to people nor do I think I'm powerful enough to tell one person where they can and can't go on the internet. But really, I had to think if that is what I wanted in my life. And the answer is no. And know I struggle with what exactly do I want from the internet? When I get time, where do I want to visit - blogs, message boards, neither, both .... I don't know.
I suppose I need to grow thicker skin, learn to take the good with the bad, and not let things bother me so much .... but it's not that easy for me to do that! I try, I really do ... my skin is thicker than when I entered my first message board debate - I've grown from there. Right now I need to continue to grow and I need to figure out what to do with myself these days.
I suppose the hardest part of this is losing my internet friends. People who no longer use the internet that much that don't really e-mail back when I e-mail them. It's sad to grow apart from people that I once felt so close to. To feel like the relationship with them - even if only over e-mails and posts and comments - is now over. Who knows, maybe they will grow again. Maybe not. But it's sad. And I hate seeing things like that end.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Lucky number 7 ....

Today my biggest "baby" turned 7 years old.
In honor of her 7th birthday, we had a very special kind of cake for her today ... she got to have pancakes for breakfast! LOL!
So, really, it was because my dh had to work today and will be out of the house from 8:50am to about 11:00pm. Which means daddy wasn't around for dinnertime. So we had a breakfast bash for her.
She was wonderful and told us that she absolutely loved her breakfast bash =)
She opened presents sent to us from across the country from graham and pop. A present for her little sister - who wrapped up some of her toys to give her big sister - which I admit I think is WAY too sweet! And then dh and I gave her one book today. She has her party next weekend, so I wanted to have something today and something then for her.

Then, surprise of all surprises, we ended up going to where dh works (at a fall celebration at a local farm) and he was able to get some time off and go around on rides with us and really spend time with us. We ended up running into other family members there - and we stayed and all the kids went on rides together! We drank hot chocolate, went on rides, ate cookies, froze, and had a great time.

On the way home, my 7 year old proclaimed "This has been the best birthday ever mom!" Well, nice to know that our simple way of celebrating today was so great for her. Of course next week we will shell out way too much money and over-indulge her in what I think will be a very un-simple celebration, but you know, every kid has to have a few big birthdays while growing up, and this year happens to be one of her big ones. It may be that next weekend we do go over the top for her, but you know what? I don't mind because today she showed me that she doesn't need over the top to be satisfied.
That although I'm sure she will have a grand time next weekend, she was just as satisfied on this day, where the only cake she ate was pancake, where I spent literally 25.00 - including her gift - and that just going somewhere and playing with people she knows really is a grand time for her. I admit, it was very nice to see that today =) It makes em feel like I might be doing something right in raising these children of mine.

But ... back to my daughter - in some ways it's hard to believe she is 7 years old ... that 7 years ago I had given birth for the first time, had my first child placed in my arms, and that everyone left me alone in that hospital room with my child for the first time when visiting hours were over.
And yet, I am not sad on this day ... I have not teared up looking at her. I have so many grand memories of her through the years - of her laughing and crying, loving me and hating me, acting like the best child in the world and then acting like the most misbehaving child that not even Super Nanny could help, I have seen her be so curious she couldn't learn enough about someething, and then so uninterested in it that she can't be bothered to even hear one more thing about it! I've seen her dance, sing, play with her sister, and then yell at, push, and fight with her sister. I've seen her very sick, literally deathly ill, I've seen the doctors look at her like they aren't sure what to do next and while they were making plans to transfer her to a much larger children's hospital, I saw her recover so quickly everyone was amazed! From the beginning she proved to be an exciting person - the day she was born, she stayed awake all day long - which proved to be a trend for about her first 2 years of life other than when she was ill! I have heard her tell me very seriously through tears "I am NEVER going to the dentist again. EVER." And then less than one year later tell me "I think I might want to marry Dr. Y [our new dentist]!" I have seen her welcome 2 siblings into our family with open arms. And then get very mad when they learned to walk and could touch her things!
Over the past 7 years I have been through so much with her - so many learning experiences since she was the first, a lot of anxiety over her also since she was the first, so much wondering if she was doing the right thing, if I was doing the right thing, and how will she be when she grows up. Wondering and dreaming about her future, while missing and also celebrating the past, and loving her in the future!
She is really wonderful in all honesty! I don't say that because I'm her mom either ;-) I promise she has her less than perfect moments, but I wouldn't trade her for the world.
And today, I do not feel sad that she is another year older ... I think because I see her growing and learning and changing. And over the last year she has really grown a lot and she has amazed me in so many ways! And that is why I am not sad to see another year come her way. Because I see there are so many wonderful things in store for her future and I can not wait to see that future and share that future with her. And so today, I am excited to see another year come! I can't wait to see all that lies ahead for her!

So, today, I say Happy Birthday Miss A! I'm glad you had an amazingly fun birthday =) And I'm glad you are my dd and I can celebrate with you =)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I remembered ...

I remember the other thing I wanted to blog about yesterday ... I wanted to make some more comments on comments! Yes, one could argue I am a bit obsessed with them ...

Anyway, I enjoy getting them so much so, that I make a point to leave comments all over the blog world each and every day! I read way too many blogs in all honesty ... I have roughly 100 feeds on my bloglines account :X Which really, just goes to prove I read too many blogs frankly!

But I do try to leave comments on several blogs each day, knowing how much I enjoy getting them I think it's only fair to give them as well.

That said, sometimes comments have to be approved by the blog owner. And sometimes those owners do not approve my comments. And then I get all nervous. And I think that maybe I said something they didn't like, or they came to my blog and didn't like it, and all sorts of wierd things. Probably I should think they didn't have time to read and approve my comments, or maybe they get so many spam comments they simply just do not approve when they don't recognize the name or maybe they are not as obsessive about these things like me!

Anyway, there really isn't too much to say aside from that.

I had my first moms club function as president today. It was interesting. A few people asked me what I do, and at this point I don't really know and was told by a few others today I can pretty much do as much or as little as I want. Interesting ... we'll see. I have some ideas which I hope will liven up the group a bit! On the same topic, my oldest told everyone that I was her mom AND the president, and even told at least one person she was so proud of me for being president! How cute! She is proud of me =) I feel quite special. But aside from all of that, we had fun at the party today - it was nice to get out and chat with people - several moms have babies within a 2 month spam of babyboy. Not so many my middle dd's age and no one my oldest's age, but that's okay ... they still made a few friends and had fun today too.

I loved being able to show off the girls costumes. I didn't even tell anyone I made them, but they had a few comments on how cute they were - it made me smile.

Right now, I have a baby on my lap. He is way too tired, but is fighting sleep a lot. So now he is on my lap - he lays on me for a few moments then pops up pretty quickly as if to say just kidding ma! I'm not tired! I don't want to sleep!! Party ALLL night long okay ma? Yeah!!! Woo-hoo! I'm crossing my fingers that we won't really be awake all night. Here's hoping we are both asleep soon!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Some very exciting news ....

Well, some maybe very exciting news on the horizon ...
It might not even happen, but someone told me today she wanted my in the delivery room when she had her baby! Now, her husband is semi-against this ... and I wouldn't want to be in there if he didn't want me there. But, I just truly feel honored! I think giving birth is a very intimate affair.
I know me personally, wouldn't want just anyone in the room with me. And so I feel like if she is saying she wants me to be there for her, to help her get through it all (she is trying for VBAC), well, I feel quite honored. Wow. And in the end, if it doesn't happen, I'm okay with that ... just knowing she was thinking about it makes me feel very special indeed!

Aside from that, today has been, well, a pretty gosh darn boring day frankly LOL! Not too much is going on here - I have finally finished the halloween costumes for the girls - not a moment to soon as the first party is tomorrow. ;-)

At some point today I had other things to type her, but I have been missing my brain all day today. I think it had something to do with babyboy wanting to play last night from about 12:30 to 2:30. Yeah, I'm a bit tired and not really with it right now!

Hopefully by tomorrow I can remember what else I wanted to say! LOL!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

One more week ...

and October is over.
October is truly a month from hell for me to be quite honest! My dh has to work 7 days a week - on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I see him when he gets home and then he pretty much goes straight to bed (around 11-11:30pm). The kids only see him those days should they wake up and catch him before he leaves.
It gets rough honestly. I miss my husband. We just don't get much time together during this month and I hate it.
We have decided that next year it can't happen this way ... it's hard to not allow it to happen because he's helping a family business on weekends. And that makes things tricky. And of course, for a while, we needed every extra penny we could get! I used to be doing the same crazy thing - but then it was too hard to find a sitter and get the kids taken care of.
But soon it will be over.

This year, October ending has something else in store for us. Househunting should start up in November. I can not wait. Of course, dh is now saying we might wait a bit - but I told him I will start looking with or without him. We know we need to move. We agree we need to move. We both want to move. I'm not quite sure why he wants to possibly delay it at this point ... but alas, not so much time to talk about it these days ....

But soon it will be November. We've had quite the year this last year ... I can't even believe all that has happened over the course of 2006 so far. And when I really break it down, it's mostly little things. But there were a lot of little things that all added up to be a pretty powerful year for dh and I. I will be anxious to see this year pass, but at the same time it will be bittersweet.

Not only has it been a year for things between dh and I, but our children have grown and changed and surprised us (both good surprises and not so good surprises). I look at my children and am in awe honestly! One year ago today, there were only two of them running around, and now I have this third, amazingly happy, full of giggless and curiousity, constantly exploring, hardly sleeping, already quite opinionated little boy. I know it might sound cheesey, but there is something about bringing babyboy into this family that has really made our family feel complete. I see the girls with him, I see my husband with him, and Iknow how I feel about him - and it is all so wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls tremendously! Both of them are great and challenge my parenting each day in very different and distinct ways. But this baby, this third surprise blessing came into our family and changed it. Changed it for the better. I think this baby brings out something in each of us that is good for the entire family! Amazing. Wonderfully Amazing.

I am truly blessed to have my family. To have my husband. To have my children. So incredibly blessed.

Monday, October 23, 2006

October is ...

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
In honor of that, I would like to sahre this link that I stumbled upon yesterday ...
No Room for Contraception.
I wondered at first if it was just one of those fake articles put on the internet to start controversy (which does happen).
It seems that the current thought process is that taking the pill does raise your risk slightly, but most woman are not taking the pill at the time that they are more likely to get breast cancer.
Birth Control Pills: The American Cancer Society says that women currently using the pill may have a slightly increased risk, whereas women who stopped using oral contraceptives 10 years ago probably don't have this risk. Most women who use oral contraceptives take them at a young age, when their risk of breast cancer is very low. from cbs

However, I do feel like I am hearing more and more woman getting diagnosed with breast cancer at younger and younger ages.

My dh also read an article last week that talked about a high rate of false positives in finding breast cancer on the bbc site ... I looked and can't find it so I'm hoping that he will go back and find it for me to share.
Very interesting .... something to think about for sure for me as a woman - my mom had a lump removed (not cancer though) and so it really is on my mind. I wonder if mammograms are really the best way to get checked out. I wonder when I should get my baseline - they say 35 and regularly at 40 ... but is that too late? I keep hearing about people in their early 30's having it.
Just on my mind right now as breastcancer items are everywhere during this NBCAM.

Sunday, October 22, 2006


I am home now!
I had a nice weekend away, my girls had a WONDERFUL time. I had a good time. Babyboy had a grand time, but a) too many things for him to get into - the main room had 4 sets of stairs off of it and b) didn't sleep so well at all.
I am feeling pretty tired and worn out - but it was worth it =) I'm glad I went and visited with my cousin.
We chatted, watched a movie, I read a book, did like 15 minutes of knitting, talked, had fun, ate, and had a pretty good time.
I would like to go back, but honestly, next time I want to leave the baby home or wait until he is several years older! But, he had the most fun climbing up one set of stairs (about 6 of them to get to the upper level) and amazingly enough, he only fell one time!
The girls, with their new favorite "aunt" K, helped make Mickey Mouse pancakes, chocolate chip cookies, personal sized pizzas, then they got their fingernails AND toenails painted! They were on cloud nine most of the weekend. A was determined to move in there and M promised to visit again real soon. It was very cute =)

And it was a good weekend =)
But I have to say, it is great to be home, and when dh got home from work today, I rushed to hug him. I know it was only 3 days/2 nights, but I missed him sooo much! And was glad to be back with him =)

Friday, October 20, 2006

See you later ....

We are about to hop on the road ... I am having a girly weekend with one of my cousins! I haven't gone to her house ever and she only lives a few hours away (2.5 hours according to mapquest). And she moved. I never did go see the last house they owned ... oops!
So we are off to go spend time with her and hopefully have fun. The kids have mixed feelings - oldest is excited, middle is whining since daddy won't be with us, and baby, well, he has no clue what's going on LOL!!!
So, it's a short weekend trip, we'll be back Sunday sometime. And hopefully I will have lots of fun stuff to relate!

See you later ....

We are about to hop on the road ... I am having a girly weekend with one of my cousins! I haven't gone to her house ever and she only lives a few hours away (2.5 hours according to mapquest). And she moved. I never did go see the last house they owned ... oops!
So we are off to go spend time with her and hopefully have fun. The kids have mixed feelings - oldest is excited, middle is whining since daddy won't be with us, and baby, well, he has no clue what's going on LOL!!!
So, it's a short weekend trip, we'll be back Sunday sometime. And hopefully I will have lots of fun stuff to relate!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I don't normal ...

put my children on this website, but I honestly feel this video is SO fun to watch, that I just had to share!!
I will say the best part is from about 24 seconds to the end!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Why I love ....

I will tell you all why I love comments - since I've been getting quite a few these days (thanks to Mel)

Here is my list

1. Someone might say they completely understand/agree with what I'm saying. This means I am not the only person in the world who is thinking that and I feel a slightly bit more normal than when I thought I was the only one. It's nice to not feel alone out there ....

2. Someone might say something interesting that makes me think more about what I was talking about than I thought before. Or someone might say something that I hadn't yet thought about and then I'll be thinking again! And I do enjoy thinking (despite the fact that some might argue I don't do it nearly enough LOL!)

3. Someone might disagree and challenge me. I might say, hmm, that's interesting, I need to look into this more. Ultimately my opinion gets strengthened OR an amazing thing might happen. I might say, why, gee, I think I was wrong before! And wa-la, my opinion, my way of thinking has then been changed.

4. I can follow the commenters back to their blogs and then discover some great blog I have not yet discovered! How fun and wonderful (I have added quite a few blogs to my blogroll over the last few days).

And that my friends is why I love comments!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

100% Content ...

Can you say you are 100% content?
I know I can not honestly say that I am. I'm just not. And I'm not at all about pretending I am. Although, I will admit there was a time when I surely would have lied and said why yes, thank you, I am absolutely content, all the while probably wanting to cry on the inside. But that little gig was not working in my life anymore ....
But I am sitting here and watching Oprah. She is talking to a young Amish couple and they said they were 100% content. Until that point, I wasn't really watching - the tv is on as background noise mostly. But it caught my ear and I had to listen.
I have to say, I'm jealous. I would love to be 100% content with my life, to find peace and comfort. And yet, I'm not. I am maybe 75% content? Maybe?
I am so caught up in the rat race, caught up in wanting more, doing more, being more, being better, being prettier, having more money, more fun, more time, more, more, more, more .... that's the name of the game for me right now. I can look around right now and see SO much excess in my life - mostly excess things. All these things I could easily live without. I can say here, I could live without it, but if someone tried to take them away, I'd list about 183,347,291 reasons as to why I need it. It's silly to think about really. I feel slightly embarrassed even putting it into words here.
And I think to myself "Here's your sign." My sign is apparently saying

Slow down
Stop always looking for more
Savor the now

So if I can learn to do that. And not just say I've learned it, but really truly believe it. Maybe I too can someday say I am 100% content.

How about you? Are you 100% content? How content are you?

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Today has been a Wow! kind of day for so many reasons ...

First of all, thanks to all the people coming over from Mel's blog! I read quite a few comments and thought what is going on! All these people here! I wasn't sure what to make of it and then I read her blog and discovered why! Thanks Mel - very kind of you! I love all these comments though, I can't lie! I'm basking in them hehehe

Second of all, a friend confided in me today. Now, I have to say here, I am sorry that she had to confide in me and I'm sorry that she was upset. But I can't really remember the last time someone confided in me. And I have said before that I was excited to feel like I finally had a friend, and now I feel confident in saying I finally have a good friend, no, a great friend. And that is where the second wow! comes in. I have to see that I forsee much better days ahead for her though - and hopefully some day I will be able to link you to a blog for my friend, but as of now, she is blogless (although I do keep trying to get her to start one of these!)

Third of all, I decided to be president of the moms club I am a part of. Which is odd because I don't really do a lot of things with the moms club in general. Hmmm ... seems odd - well it did to my dh. But I decided I had two options - I was either going to leave the moms club or step up and be president. The position has been open for quite some time now - maybe since the start of the year? And the club is just (imo) doing worse and worse. And so in a best case scenario, I can come in, shake things up, get it going again and rejuvinate it. In a worse case scenario, I fall flat on my face, leave the position and let it sit open for half a year again! We'll see what happens ... I'm kind of nervous, but excited as I have ideas for this club and hopefully I will not be the only person who thinks these ideas are good ones!

I think that about wraps up my day here! I'm basically enjoying all the comments - what a nice treat =) While you are leaving those comments, if you could maybe send up some good thoughts/prayers for my blogless friend S. Oh and add in a few words about me not failing on this whole president thing!

Monday, October 16, 2006

One thing ...



Added after the original post ....
How we pulled that win off I will never ever know, but holy cow, am I happy we won this game. Sorry to Arizona though. I will admit, at half time I had given up all hope. I hung my head in shame ... granny told me to take babyboy out of his Bear's outfit she was not happy with how they were playing. I almost changed the channel in all honesty! But I didn't, and holy cow am I glad I didn't. I only kept the game on so that I couldn't be accused of being a fair-weather friend to my Bears. Wow! I seriously can't believe it! It was amazing. WOW.
On all that note, I sure hope the Offense cleans up it's act for the next game. They did not play well at all - I really don't know how we ended up winning aside from pure LUCK.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

So. Very. Tired.

I'm so tired today!
I had the kids skip church because I was too tired to get dressed, get in the car and sit in church myself ... I thought if I had to sit, I'd surely fall asleep! LOL! Not exactly what I want to do at church ;-)
And yet, I know I should have gone, should have tried to do more to wake up, but yet, I did not.
And now it's almost 1, and I want to take another nap. :X
I need to start sleeping at night ... I've been pulling some late nights lately - partly due to a baby who doesn't have any clue what "decent bedtime" means and partly because I've been staying awake to accomplish some things that I can't get done during the day with the children running around.
I have to figure out how to achieve some balance around here. There are things that I really want to finish (and other things I need to finish) that I just can't manage to do with the kids running around ... for exaple, Halloween costumes ... I'm not done with either of them, and only have one started. Halloween is soon and next weekend we will be gone all weekend. But babyboy doens't really allow me to run the sewing machine when he's awake. If and when he sleeps during the day, I'm doing school with the others ...
And yet, when I look into my crystal ball, I see that there will be a time where I will have the days free to do things - no baby crawling around after me, hanging on my leg, waiting to be picked up - no girls running around, asking me to solve fights for them, read them stories, look at their latest art work, see how high their newest tower is, help put the tricky dress on the barbie, brush the doll's hair ... and that thought saddens me.
I hope before that day comes though, there is a bit more balance around here ... time for them, time for me, time for my dh, time for us all ...

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Perect Major ...

You scored as Sociology. You should be a Sociology major!





























What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

I took this quiz after seeing it on Sheri's blog and decided to take it too!
I think my results are very interesting to me! When I went to college I thought about doing a psychology or sociology major of some kind ... but was basically set on education as a major.
I look back now and realize that I had grown up with so many people telling me I would be a good teacher and I should be a teacher and teaching was for me, blah, blah, blah ... that even though other areas interested me, I was pretty much set on being a teacher.
One teaching degree later, I don't really think teaching is where I belong truthfully! I wish I could go back to those high school years and take some time to explore other options and really, truly think about what to do in college instead of just accepting I should be a teacher and do that only.

Oh well ... someday, I'll have a chance to start over I think. For now, I'm content to stay home with the children and play teacher with them. =) It's where I want to be now (after actually thinking about it and not just doing what I thought I was supposed to do!).

But I think soon, I will be following the lead of Chef Messy and maybe share some of my pipe dreams ....

Thanks and Sorry!

Thanks for the comments yesterday friends! I really did feel excited to see them (even if it does sound silly LOL!)
And I owe Karen an apology! We have met in real life, and she does read my blog - and I forgot! Sorry Karen! And despite the fact that I said no one I know in real life reads this, I should have said almost no one I know in real life reads this blog is what I should have said yesterday.

Anyway, knowing I have some readers out there will help me stay more consistent and post more and write more! Wouldn't want to break someone heart by having them come here and see no new posts now would I? LOL!!

Friday, October 13, 2006

The problem ...

So here's the problem.
I started this blog. I let very few people know the web address. No one I know IRL knows this blog even exists. I wanted it to be private in a sense ... let's be real, there isn't a lot of privacy on putting things on the internet for pretty much anyone who can use the internet to read, but yet, I have a feeling of security because I don't think anyone I can ever come face to face with reads this ...
So herein lies the problem. I still want people to read it - just not people I actually know! Someone jump through the computer and smack me! (you know, all 4 people who visit here each day - most of you finding me lately by linking from Actual Unretouched Photo). I get comments - about twice a month, but I want more comments, more readers, more, more, more!!! Which is a pretty common theme in my life - me wanting more.
I will survive, I will get by, I'll keep writing in this little blog of mine - sharing the good, the bad, the whines, the vents, my thoughts on life around me ... and hopefully all 3-5 people stopping by each day will read for at least 30 seconds before going on to their next read!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

This is why ...

I have issues with the media ... this story.

It is absolutely disgusting ... his family didn't even know yet and the news just announced who it was. Didn't they care? Is that how his family should have learned their son, husband, father had just passed away in a fatal airplane crash? Seriously, WTF is wrong with the media?

This was not a circus folks. It was a tragic accident. But you wouldn't have known that were you watching news coverage of it.

I get that at first it was frightening ... bringing back memories of 9/11 and all that happened that day. I understand why the media jumped on the story initially. But once it was realized it was not yet another terrorist attack, why couldn't they have backed off on it? Why did they have to release the names? Ugh. Makes me sick. I'm sorry that our media thinks more of ratings than of being tasteful, compassionate, and caring. But isn't that what our media has come too? News of celebs make front page headlines, pictures of their babies go for millions of dollars. If you only listened to mainstream new sources, you might think that Americans care more about Hollywood than anything else. It makes me sick. It makes me ill to think that Tom Cruise's baby is more important than war, faminine, starvation, poverty, death ... but welcome to America in the year 2006. We say we want to know. We say we care. But as a country, I don't think we walk the walk ... it's very sad. And the media takes it and runs ......

You know the second they heard it could be a "celebrity" in that crash, news producers must have had orgasms ... thinking yes! a celeb! Keep talking, here's his name, here's his picture, who cares that he was a real live person, ratings baby! Ratings! Run with this story and go! We'll worry about the repurcations later because chances are, no one will probably care that much anyway! This is what the public lives for! Yes! Yes! Rating will be up today ....

Sick. Just sick.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family right now.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Can someone explain to me ...

why it is North Korea can not afford to feed it's people - and people are starving to death in that country due to a very extended drought ... and yet, their government can afford to create and test missiles and most likely they just tested nuclear weapons.
Hmmmm .... I have really thought about this the last few days ... I just don't understand. Do the leaders of the country feel that threatened by the rest of the world that they felt they had to pursue these weapons? Or do they think that they would like to gain more power and that is a way to do it?
I guess I don't get why they allow such a great amount of bad things to happen to the people and use that money to develop weapons that can harm so many.

And really, I have been thinking about this, even though they have it (supposedly anyway - we still don't have complete confirmation that it was a nuclear weapon tested Monday) will they ever use it? I'm thinking it would be about one of the dumbest moves tehy could make, because if you really think about it (and let's hope they are really thinking about it, but I'm also tending to think they are not thinking per my question above) if they did use it, pretty much most of the industrialized countries in the world will rally against them and Pyongyang will be out pretty quickly IMO.

And what will we do about all that has transpired over the last few days? One, sanctions ... which will hurt the country sure, but mostly it will hurt the people in the country who are already hurting, which sucks. And 2, we will be increasingly paranoid about what happens - for example Japan had an earthquake yesterday and the initial thought was North Korea tested another weapon.

It's sad what is happening. And I think at this point, whatever is going to happen probably won't have a happy ending, especially for the people living in North Korea. :-(

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Back ....

We survived the fun weekend! I tell you, Sunday was a bit hard ... we were enjoying ourselves until about 12:30 am and then I was up with the baby a few times and dh woke us up at 6:30. We were on the road home at 7:10! That was definitely not fun at all.
But the wedding was wonderful, the reception was great fun, and the after party was (mostly) a blast.
Only one thing/situation marred the weekend, but I'm trying very hard to forget it even happened and dh is going to take care of those parties that need some talking to about what happened and it is now officially out of my hands. Maybe in the next few days I'll share ... but for now, I'll keep that part of the weekend to myself.
I am so glad we were there and able to help them out. I'm glad we brought the kids, but also brought a babysitter with. The whole weekend was mostly fabulous and fun and a good break from all the things at home. Which was grand for me in all honesty.
Anyway, I'm glad the weekend went so well, and I'm glad to be back home! The basement is put back together now - hooray! And hopefully we will get back into the swing of things around here now.
And finally, yesterday, we went and signed up at the local Y. Yeah! I'm thinking we are going to even go swimming today - it's a blustery 50's outside, but at the Y, the pool temp is 86-88 and the air temp is 88-92. Sounds like a grand idea to me! LOL!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Greetings from ...

The hotel has free internet access, and well, I had to take advantage of it!
Pretty soon, wireless internet access will be standard for every hotel and my kids will laugh when I tell them when I was growing up I didn't have an e-mail address until high school and no wireless or high speed connections! LOL!
So we had a pretty uneventful drive - kids did super. I took draminine literally moments away from leaving our driveway which knocked me out for over half the drive! Babyboy fussed a bit in the middle, but then was great the rest of the way. So we made it in one piece. The rehersal went pretty well. It was hard for me as I wanted to step in and make suggestions on how to do the ceremony - yeah, so I can be a bit of a control freak at times ;-) But I kept my mouth shut aside from a few points that I thought were pretty important. I told dh maybe when I grow up I might be a wedding planner and wouldn't that be fun. He smiled and said "sure dear" (as pretty much several times a year I proclaim what I will be when I have to enter the workforce after the children are gone! Of course it's always something different! LOL!)
Anyway, the dinner tonight was fun. The girls stayed with sitter and we brought the baby with us (we discovered this am we only have about 7 ounces of milk for him with us so we brought him tonight so we could leave him with bottles tomorrow). He again did super, and we had fun at the dinner as well.
I still can't believe that this wedding is tomorrow! This is my dh's best friend of 25 years - I can't imagine - I've barely been alive for 25 years. But they are great friends, and so by default I have become pretty good friends with groom and friends with bride and so this wedding will be so wonderful tomorrow to witness and be a part of (even if it's just delivering flowers and my husband to the church on time! LOL!)

Well, I still have to hem my dress - nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh?
I can't wait for tomorrow - it will be so fun!

Thankfully ...

I and the children will be leaving for the wedding tomorrow morning as planned originally. And also thankfully, I will not be attending this wedding naked.

First of all - although the children are not 100%, they are better and doc says they are not contagious - so they will be coming with. I did call around to see if someone here could keep them, but it could not be done. I really want to be at that wedding though, so with the doc's okay, we are taking them - which should be okay - they will stay in the hotel room with a sitter while we are out and will come in contact with no one aside from dh, myself, each other and babysitter!

Secondly - might I recommend everyone get a personal shopper? Let me just tell you, she was fabulous! Got my dress on the third try, fit me for a bra, found shoes, and jewelry (and contrary to dh's opinion, she told me I did NOT need to buy a new purse and no necklace was required with my dress, so she did not try to sell me more than I needed nor the most expensive thing in the store). I loved every moment of it. We had some time left so I even asked for her help to get a pair of jeans that fit - and she did! First try! I am so impressed. I hugged her at least twice and told her just how happy I was about everything. And really, if I may be not modest for a moment - I will look absolutely fabulous at the wedding! Yeah! I can't wait to go. Dh asked if all that I did was really necessary. Then I tried it all on for him, and he agreed, that yes, it was necessary and thought I looked fabulous as well! I am so excited ... things always go better when you feel good about how you look, so imo, this wedding should be great fun =)

Anyway, I am glad the kids are healthy. I have the car half-way packed already and 90% of everything else by the door ready to go. (But things like the cooler have to wait til the am) and the kids will want a few last minute items to bring with as well I'm sure.
But I can't wait to get away and go to this wedding ... but right now it is by far too late for me to be awake with what time I have to wake in the am ... so good night and good bye for a few days!

Thanks for sticking with me through all the venting, whining and complaining lately ... it really has been what I'd call some pretty cruddy days around here, but hopefully this is the start of some good days ahead!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

From bad to worse ...

Now my oldest is puking @@
I. Can't. Take. Much. More.
What's worse is that at this piont I may not be attending this weekend's wedding. I will just cry if it comes down to that. Ugh. It makes me want to be sick just thinking about it.

But, right now I am assuming I will be attending. And I still have nothing to wear! I went and tried on dresses last night, I went tonight. I am going crazy looking for something to wear - and yes. I should have gotten something sooner - however, I wasn't planning on my van being in the shop twice and the kids being sick. I had planned on being all set to go by the end of last week. Oh well. I will take the hand I am delt with. And I made an appointment with a personal shopper at Macy's for tomorrow. Now, I have never had a personal shopper before. I am not quite sure what to expect. Well, okay, I expect her to find me an outfit, shoes and maybe some accessories to go with said outfit. I am NOT having luck looking for something myself, so I decided to get help. Now, I also decided to do it because Macy's offers it at the store near me as a complimentary service. So basically I'm doing it because it's free. And because I asked for help yesterday in several stores. Explained what I was and was not looking for. And had the employees basically bring me exactly what I said I didn't want. And then when I would say "No, I don't really like that dress very much" and you know what, I was brought basically the same dress in another print. "Um, no, I don't like that style" and I was brought basically the same dress in yet another style. "No, really, remember I tried one on like that already and it didn't look very pretty on me at all? I don't want that sort of style." And what did they bring me, pretty much the same dress in another print. Okay. I get it. Stop asking for help and start looking on my own. And then I struck out when looking on my own. Well, we will see what happens tomorrow. And, the truth of the matter is that it might not even matter because I still don't know if I will be attending or not. Which I just might have to break into tears right now when I think about missing the wedding :-(

In other news, basement area is still not back in order, so we are still not schooling. I figure we won't be doing anything until Wednesdayish of next week. I won't even touch the basement tomorrow and :::crossing fingers::: we leave by 9 am Friday and get home Sunday afternoon. Monday we are out pretty much all day, Tuesday we will start to put everything back together which means Wednesday we should be able to resume using the basement as normal. I surely hope so. I miss my basement (and to be honest, I don't love the basement to begin with!). But the basement is our space. And I miss being able to go into our space.
Soon enough ... and hopefully all the kids will get healthy (by tomorrow morning preferably) and we will have a grand weekend at our friends wedding. And then, then I will stop complaining all the time!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

When it rains, it pours ...

literally ...
last night it rained and the water poured in our basement. So not fun.
Luckily, we were down there when it started to come in and so we quickly moved things, stacked things, rearranged things, pulled up important things.
Thankfully we didn't take in too much water (unlike earlier this year when we had a few inches of water that we didn't find out about until it had come in all night @@). But it sucks. I have a lot of things that are now lost, hidden and burried in that basement. It will probably take me several weeks to find everything.
And they are calling for more rain late tonight/early tomorrow ... oh yeah.

Anyway, I'm in a pretty not great mood. Kids are still sick. Babyboy still has diarrhea and now he doens't want to sleep. Most of my stuff is inaccesiable, my car is in the shop again, we have a wedding to go to Saturday. I tried on countless numbers of dresses tonight and found not one thing that fit me and looked like it was a) from this decade b)made for someone under the age of 60 and c)had my boobs hanging out.
I know, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that bad. But in my little house, in my little world things are just not going very well at all right now. If I survive until October 31, even I will be impressed with myself.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Calgon ..

take me away!
Ugh. I've had a rough day, a rough last few days actually.
Babyboy is not only having his breathing issues, but this am he started to have lovely diarrhea. I've lost count of how many times he and I have changed clothes today.
I just want a break from it all.
However, my dh is working today, yesterday, tomorrow, the next day, etc ....
And since my car was not fixed the first time we took it in, that means I have to take it back in tomorrow which leaves me carless again.
And I have a wedding to attend Saturday - 6 days for those keeping count. I have nothing to wear. And when am I supposed to go shopping? Beats me ... I have no clue at all. I'm feeling very stressed about, well, everything. Usually when I get too stressed dh is great at letting me get away, but he is not doing that for me right now. It's frustrating. I admit, I am bit peeved at him right now - right or wrong, I am.
I am just tired and drained - physically and emotionally drained. I just need to get away for a few minutes, a few precious kidless moments.