Sunday, October 30, 2005

Almost there ...

In just over 12 hours, it will be party time.
I am feeling good about this party. The cake has been picked up. All the major cleaning has been done (tomorrow we will have to go over a few surfaces just to touch up and vacuum, but that's it for cleaning).
That means the big thing tomorrow will be setting up furniture (moving a few things around and putting up table/chairs), picking up the food, preparing food that we didn't buy (which I did most of it tonight), decorating and hopefully just enjoying the party.

Here's the thing that kind of sucks. My oldest dd's birthday was Friday. We did what we could to make her day special of course. We met daddy at work and did lunch with him (since he did not get home until after her bed time), she got a present from us and a present from her sister. We sang to her, she got some phone calls, not a bad day. But not a great day :-( No cake for her on that day and I'm kind of sad about it. The good news is that she is not sad! And she knows she is having a party in a few weeks for close family. So that is the good news. I just feel like in the craziness of everything else, her birthday took a back seat to it all. Well, I don't feel like that happened. I know it happened. I'm glad she doesn't mind. She is actually very excited about the surprise party tomorrow, which makes me happy! And in a few weeks we will have balloons and cake and ice cream for her, and she is happy so I should be happy too.

Anyway, here's hoping I survive tomorrow! And it all goes as planned and nothing happens to derail anything!

Thursday, October 27, 2005


I'm so proud of my hometeam! Woo-hoo for them!!! =)
I haven't been to many games, but I remember the first one my dad took me to =) Oh, I'm just so happy for them! =)

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Close ...

Not an actual ear infection, but she said it was benign ::insert some word similar to position here that i can't remember:: vertigo due to inflamation in the inner ear. Basically, the crystal/fluids in my inner ear aren't working and hence the spinning. And apparently I have a cold on top of it that just started at the same time? I get to take lovely motion sickness pills for it for the next 10 days. She drew blood to double check something (I think she said electrolytes) and I'll go back in a week to make sure all is okey-dokey.
The lovely (said sarcastically) part was that she whipped my head a couple of times to check for reactions! When she did it to the right I thougth I was going to die! LOL! But at least we know what it is and hopefully the spinning feeling will stop!

And on another note, that I forgot to mention yesterday ... my dh signed up to sell a product for a company that does work at home type jobs. The start-up fee was 50 bucks and he will need to make 100 calls to get started ... so not too much money and just a bit of time. He decided to do it becuase *if this can make money, he can take the job he really wants (but isn't offering him enough money to make it feasible to actually take it without getting a second job). So, his uncle told him about it, and he decided why not? It isn't too risky really. We won't become millionares and don't expect to rake in that much (although according to their sales pitch, we could make 100,000 a year with only a few hours a week of work! Which both of us doubt that will happen! LOL!) But it should help and maybe he can take his dream job afterall. But, he said, if he can make 10,000 (unless it takes like 5 years) then he will buy me the embroidery machine I want with the money!! Woo-hoo! I told him he only said that with the hopes that I might help him out with it! ROFL! Because I originally said that I he could do it all he wanted, but I didn't want to help out at all ... but with the posibility of a new machine, well, how could I not help out. Sneaky little devil! So here's to hoping that this works and actually makes money (not a million, but enough for him to be able to take his dream job and me to get my machine) ... and hey, if you are interested in making money while working from home, let me know! I'll update in a month maybe to say if he is actually making money and how it is going, and seriously ... if it is going well and you are interested, let's talk! LOL! =)

Here we go again ...

I'm sick ... again.
What is going on? I think this pregnancy has killed my immune system. I'm not very happy about this at all.
I'm pretty sure it's an inner ear infection. I will go to my primary care physician tomorrow am to make sure and get some meds for it. I'm sure it would go away on it's own without meds, the problem is I think it's inner ear because I'm getting dizzy spells. I feel like I'm on a boat and it's a rocking and a rolling. It just hits me out of nowhere. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm bracing myself. Not that I get so dizzy that I feel like I'm going to fall down or pass out or anything like that, but it's enough to make it hard to do anything really constructive. I had to stop school with my dd today because I couldn't really read anything to her! But we were able to finish later (the beauty of homeschooling!). I did get a lot of good cleaning done today as well. So, I'm on track with my schedule for the party, which is good. One less thing to worry about over the next few days ... as long as I can keep on my schedule, all things will be good. And I was supposed to be out of the house for a good portion of tomorrow, but I cancelled it all (yeah, I figured not driving while getting random dizzy spells might be a wise decision!) So I will try to push through a bunch of laundry tomorrow and get ahead on the whole cleaning schedule. It's so sad that is the most exciting news in my life right now I think!
Anyway, my White Sox are finally about to win game number 3(I hope anyway ... provided they can keep the Astros from scoring) so with that I'm off and hopefully going to bed soon!)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Getting kind of stressed ...

Okay, big party is on Sunday .. that's not even a full week away! I'm starting to feel really stressed about it all! I have the basement pretty much ready to go (which was the one spot in the house that required more than just moving a few peices of furniture and regular cleaning) so that is good, becuase that is the big thing I needed to have done. Now it's just cleaning the first floor and second floor this week. And the garage needs to be done. Ugh. That will be quite a chore, and one I cannot physically do by myself frankly.
the good news is that I have help lined up to come over Sunday morning. I will do all that I can prior to that, but basically I'm leaving the garage for him to do.
Of course, this whole week is so busy anyway, even without a party to get ready for. But if I can survive this week, I think the rest of the year will be easy by comparison LOL!
Of course, next week, we will be kicking into getting ready for baby mode. Dh will have only one job starting Monday (poor guy's been doing 1 full time and 2 part time jobs!) so he will finally really be here. I'm pretty sure baby is still breech. Which is annoying as I've been doing all the breech turning exercises ... that claim to have 80-90% success rate in only 5 days. @@ Well apparently not for me. (and oh, no more laying on an ironing board for me. I switched to other exercises to do that seemed less dangerous!) We'll see what they say on Friday. I'll get to see probably another midwife I've never met before and get yet a third opinion about it. My guess is the next one will probably not worry too much - seeing as I'll be 33W4D and my guess is she'll say don't worry until 36/37 weeks. But last time I was 31W4D and that midwife seemed all worried about it and wanted me to try to get baby turned before the next appointment.
Oh well.
Anyway, it seems my week this week will be full of cleaning, errand-running, shopping, AND the same old activities: ballet, PT, midwife appointment, watching other kids AND we have granny's birthday, my oldest dd's birthday, and a birthday party to attend on Saturday. I'm dreading it all already! LOL!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Another week over ...

Well, almost.
This weekend will continue to be very busy for us, but we will survive.
The good news is that I have my 5 year old's bday gifts bought. I have picked up a few more Christmas items as well. I managed to get my oldest dd's pictures taken today and we picked up younger dd's pictures while there.
The bad news is that there is still a ton of things to do! LOL! Of course, the big party we are hosting is just over a week away. Today I did order the cake. I will order the food tomorrow. I am probably going to order all of it, even though it might be cheaper to make some of it, I just don't even want to deal with it frankly. After the party, it will be time to finish Christmas items, wrap Christmas items, and basically get this house ready for a baby!
Aside from all of that, my kids are both doing well. They are both constantly amazing me!
My oldest is really into Awana this year. She has 2 more jewels to earn and she is done with the big for the year. Yes, she will complete the year's work in 2 months! It's a lot of memorization, and we run through all the stuff she has memorized so far several times a week, and she actually retains it! She isn't just learning it for one night and forgetting. After completing the book once, she may complete it again and then if she can do that, she will get another book to complete!
Not only that, but she is flying through math ... money is now learned! We are flying through time ... her addition facts are coming along. I just can't believe how well she is doing.
Reading is going fabulously. She can actually read a few of the books that we own and is SO proud of that fact. Heck, I'm proud for her! She is 70% f the way through her learning to read book.
We are struggling with normal kid stuff though .. interuptions, not really paying attention as she dances around the house (which has caused more than one spill, mess, fall, etc) and her newest habit is to constantly make noise ... clicking, popping, humming, just noise! It does drive me crazy sometimes, but I hope it's an age thing and not a lifelong habit she will have LOL!
My youngest is being so cute and sweet and such a toddler these days! She has actually heard her sister practice some things so much that she is reciting things! LOL! Not that she knows what half of it means, but she's starting to repeat 10's, 5's, 2's, Awana verses, poems that my oldest is learning. It's so cute and it does also blow my mind away. And of course, my oldest feels important because she's "teaching" her little sister things! Potty training has finally clicked for her. We aren't 100% there, maybe only 60% ... but at least she understands what she is doing now and that is all I need at this point. I think she is a bit fearful of pooping on the potty, so that's our biggest issue, but I have no doubt it will all click very soon. She's so cute now too, it's crazy! She's just at that phase where with her voice and her mannerism, no matter what she does, it's cute. I remember my oldest being in that phase too ... I love it! The sweet voices, hte cute expressions ... awww! Warms my heart.
Okay, that's it for today.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

More complaining ...

Geeze, at this point, some of you probably think that's all I do these days! Granted, I do do my fair share of complaining, I don't do it all the time, but I try to get it all out here if possible LOL!
Anyway, I was sick over the weekend. It wasn't pleasant, let's put it that way. And I had to stay near the bathroom. And I had a lot of cramping, which did slightly worry me. Other people in my house have been sick, but nothing of the stomach virus until it apparently hit me, and well, of course these days no matter what happens, my first thought is if labor is coming! But alas, I was just sick. It passed and yesterday I was okay, but tired. Then at dinner, my stomach felt like it was going to explode. Then a little while later I could feel my sinus's dripping. At around 3 am, as I was still tossing and turning I felt the sore throat start, swallowing became painful and a headache started. Ugh. Why me? Why 2 different virus/colds in just a short week? I think I have enough going on right now with the back pain, pelvic pain, skin stretching, not being able to fit even some of my maternity clothes, being kicked and punched from the inside out and all that jazz! So today the goal is to drink tons and tons of water, rest a lot, and maybe breath some steam should my throat get even more sore.

On top of all of that, I decided to start my exercises to turn a breech baby. I don't know why honestly. I only hit 32 weeks yesterday. But at my last appointment, the midwife told me to start them now and made a huge deal out of the fact that the baby was probably still breech. Of course, when I went there at 29 weeks, the other midwife seemed to think it was no big deal until at least 36 weeks and I really didn't need to do anything about it -- how's that for opposite ends of the spectrum with the breech issue? But I guess the exercises can't hurt and so I figured I would start them. Yeah, laying on an ironing board, upside down ... ummm, who ever the heck decided that would be a wise thing to advise a pregnant woman to do? Well, first of all, I could barely get on it and lay down without killing myself. Then I had huge blood rush to my head after only a few moments and getting off of the iron board was probably slightly more dangerous than getting on it. And they want me to do that 2-3 times a day for 10-15 minutes?! I don't think so. I will look into some of the other exercises recommended to try to turn a breech baby. Which is almost silly, as I think the baby is head down already and I don't believe I'm far enough along to even worry about it. But I'll play along as long as it doesn't require an ironing board anymore! LOL!
Which of course leads me to the next point, If I were not 32 weeks already and closer to 20 weeks, I think I would honestly switch practices. I'm not happy with this one anymore. On the very weird off chance I should ever become pregnant again (which has about as much chance of happening as pigs flying according to my husband) I would not go back. When I started there in April, they had 4 midwives. Great. It was larger than what I wanted, but I did want to have midwifery care with this pregnancy and so I was willing to compromise on having 2, maybe 3 care givers and go with 4. Well 2 of the mdwives delivered babies this summer, so they brought in 2 more midwives to use during their maternity leave and are keeping them on when the other 2 return (which they probably have or will be doing soon). So, the total was 6. Then at one point I went in and noticed they hired 2 more. Putting them at 8. Then they added one more. There are now 9 midwives there. Each one has a slightly different philosophy than the others and some have wildly differently philosophies from each other. I still have not even met all 9 midwives and we're 8 weeks from my due date. I do not like having 9 people ... I hardly know any of them and were I to go into labor now, I would probably not be able to link the faces of the midwives to their names, nor do I think I would even recognize all but 2 or 3 of them by face. I do not like it one bit. I was talking to dh about it last night, and he agrees that there are too many opinions and too many people and even he asked if it was too late to switch to another practice. I was talking to someone else who uses them for a current pregnancy and she is feeling in a similar manner to me - too many people, too many opinions, and not a feeling of continuity in care. Ugh. I don't want to have to worry about it. And I'm banking on a short labor like the other two, and at this point, I will rely mostly on dh to get me through it. But I am very unhappy with my care. I am going to discuss this issue with htem (probably via letter). My dh even had a great idea. He thinks they should break into 3 teams of 3 midwives and each patient should be assigned a team. Then you would just wokr with those 3 midwives for most of the pregnancy so you can feel like you actually get to know the person who will be delivering your baby. Sounds like a nice idea to me frankly! I would be a lot happier with a method like that!

Okay ... anyway, I think that's enough babbling and venting and complaining from me right now! I'm off to try to get some more rest and feel better!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Misc. Items ...

Well, let's see. Time is for me, thankfully, starting to fly by.
Where to begin? Well, I have my oldest dd's 6th birthday on the 28th, I'm helping throw a surprise 40th birthday party on the 30th (but really, I'm helping a 14 year old throw it, so basically I'm doing most of it LOL!), then we have Halloween on the 31. For the rest of October I have PT appointments weekly. I have another midwife appointment on the 28. My oldest has classes every Monday from 10-2, then she has ballet on Thursday early evening, Awana Thursday evenings. We school Tuesday-Friday, and lately have been also doing things on the weekends. Now, this is all combined with normal household items - cleaning, laundry, and planning what exactly we will be doing for school.
Not to mention this month, I need to get oldest dd's pictures taken, although I have started Christmas shopping, I need to get going on that. I want to have the address lables for Christmas cards/birth announcements done.
Then we hit November. I am positive my PT will continue weekly through November, as well as classes, ballet, Awana, and our school work. I will need to finish up any Christmas shopping I have not yet completed, schedule (or take myself) pictures to go in Christmas cards, do all the Christmas cards, wrap all Christmas presents, get baby items set-up and ready to go. Not to mention, Thanksgiving happens around then. And I will go back to the midwife for the 2nd week fo November, and at that point, I will switch to weekly appointments! (Yes, I will just be living at various medical professional offices) as I also have a cavity I need to take care of. After Thanksgiving, it will be time to decorate for Christmas, and towards the start of November, the gp's will be leaving for Florida, so I will be in charge of cooking again!
Then we hit December. All Christmas stuff must be finished. School, awana, ballet, and classes will continue. Mailing of Christmas letters (and finishing them up if necessary will need to take place). I presume, but am not sure I will continue with PT, and weekly midwife appointments. Should the baby not arrive by December 12, I begin twice-weekly midwife appointments. Dh's family is over here for Christmas eve, so with or without baby, getting ready for that and planning all that I can in advance. And provided baby doesn't come 2 weeks late (which I'm not holding my breath for) I will have an infant to take care of. The person who is supposed to take my kids when I go to have baby may now be moving so maybe won't be able to take them! So, I have to find a plan 2 - although I know the neighbor across the street would help out and I have another aunt I can call should I need to, and my parents will help out as well, although they are far away, so it would require shuffling of the kids!
OMG! That is a lot to do, and I'm sure that's not even most of it, if half of it! But the good news is that it's keeping me busy. And it's kind of nice to have a lot of things to do becuase it is helping the time fly by.
Right now I am trying to get this basement in order (where most of our stuff is) because it doens't require a lot of moving things around so much as finding a spot for everything and putting it away in a neat and organized fashion (yes, that is a difficult concept for me LOL!). Not only that, but my kids know that in the next week (and hopefully tomorrow) we will be sorting through all of their toys ... to put them away nicely and to pick some to get rid of. We are overflowing again and we need to thin things out. Then the big thing will be to do a deep cleaning of this house for the big birthday party on the 30th. Which should tide us over until deep cleaning for the Christmas party.
In November when dh doesn't have to work every single day, 7 days a week, we will rearrange our room and set-up areas for baby to 1)sleep and 2)put baby's clothes and items! And he'll probably have a list of things to fix, repair, change, and help me with at that point!
Hmmm ... not sure there is enough things to do right now. Maybe I should add more things to my plate (actually, I might add a bday party for my oldest but I'm not sure LOL!)
Okay ... off to get some work done I guess! I surely have enough things to keep me busy! LOL!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Another appointment down ....

Man, I feel like I was just at the doctor ... oh wait, probably because I was! Switching to 2 week appointments sure does help the time fly by.
Gained a few more pounds ... so total weight gain is 14 pounds. She measured the fundal height at 33.5! LOL! Not that I put any stock into it ... but it's only 2 weeks "over" which last time I was 1 week "under"! See, never perfect, no matter how hard I try hehehe ;-)
Anyway, the midwife I saw today was pretty sure the baby was in a breech position. I swear that the baby is not in a breech position. So one of us is wrong, and well, if I had to bet, I'd bet I was wrong because she's felt a lot more babies than I have. But man, that just stinks. I want the baby to be head down right now. I know I'm not far enough along to worry, but yet, I do. It's just who I am.
But I go back in 2 weeks ... and we'll see what they say then about everything!

Monday, October 10, 2005

So not ready ...

My dh has been talking about looking into getting a new job. He even already had one interview. I've known for some time he has been unhappy at his current job. I understand. Sometimes I hate his job! So it's no wonder that he would dislike it too.
And it's not even that he dislikes it per se. But the hours are very inconvenient and the atmosphere isn't exactly ideal. He really actually enjoys the work, just not the time and the atmosphere in which he must complete the work.
Anyway, we've talked about it. We've discussed. He told me he was going to discuss it with his current boss. I agreed it would be a wise idea. Except I thought, when he said he was going to discuss it with his boss, he meant he would tell his boss the time/environment was becoming an issue and see what happened from there ...
He meant that he was going to tell his boss he needed to be replaced. So my dh has now given notice to his current company. The deal is that he's giving them 2 weeks until he starts to look for new work. While he is looking, they will theoretically be looking for his replacement (but someone else important in the company left not too long ago and they still haven't started looking for a replacement @@) Anyway, he told them when he finds a new job, he will let them know. In the meantime he will still work and give it his all and if they find someone he will train them. So the goal now is for him to find a job before they replace him and let him go. I don't think that will be that hard, especially given how the company has treated the other vaccancy they have had. But I mean wow. It's all going ot happen. Theoretically I could be giving birth the same time my dh is starting a new job.
I admit, I'm nervous. I'm very nervous. But my dh is not a person who makes rash decisions ... he thinks through all the pros and cons and I trust him to not do anything that would really hurt us in the long run and so I support this move. I'm just still shocked by it. I mean, I guess I knew it was coming, but maybe sort of hoping it wouldn't come now. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and the hormones are pretty all over the place right now.

Aside from that, my oldest is very ill. 104.5 was her fever at 3:00 pm today. Lovely. Normally, I don't get worried about fevers, but yeah, the 104.5 did kind of freak me out. Needless to say, we did go to the doctor as the way she was complaining made me wonder if strep was the dx. But the strep test came back negative, so maybe it's just a flu? Lots of acheness, the fever, the fatigue, etc. She had started to perk up prior to bedtime though, so maybe it's a 24 hour flu ... or at least I can hope so ;-)

And other than that, things are just plugging along. I'm 31 weeks along. 9 weeks to go ... that's not too much time. Although, I'm still banking on 11 weeks to go because I don't think this baby will actually come on time. Everything is still sore and it all still hurts. Baby is as active as ever. But, the good news is that baby is head down right now ... so as long as s/he stays that way, I'll be happy! This baby is also low, but not like the baby has dropped-low. I've been very very fatigued lately. I think I'm going to request iron levels be checked at my next appointment (which happens to be Friday). I did buy some iron pills today. I'll start them tomorrow and see if they help at all. I just feel like I can't function some days because the fatigue is soooo much. Which I know it's normal to be tired now, but this feels like it goes beyond tired. So I'm hoping something can help that out.
I still feel like I have a million and one things to do around the house, so I need to get motivated to have energy to get everything done. I think if I can just get energy back, I can really kick some butt on doing all the things I want to do around here! And that would be such a nice thing =)

Well, enough prattling on from here.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Rough day today ...

Well, it started as a normal day, but it didn't stay fun.
I don't know what happened ... if I did too much, if I got dehydrated, but man, early evening the contractions started. Painful, but not regular. I had about 4 an hour for a few hours ... not the 5 needed to call the midwives (which I'm glad for because that means it wasn't really anything to be that concerned with). All I know is at about 7:30 I got off my feet and started to guzzle water like there was no tomorrow. And when I say a lot of water, I mean a lot of water ... roughly 125 ounces in the last 5 hours. Good news is that the contractions have stopped. The bad news is that I have a killer headache that makes me want to scream and I feel sick to my stomach (gee, maybe because it's going to explode from all the water @@)
Ugh. I have to admit, I did start to get very nervous earlier tonight. I don't even want to think about what would happen should labor *really start. I know what happened tonight was not real labor, but I tell you what, with how I was feeling ... for a tiny bit of time, I was really starting to wonder if I would end up in the ER by the time this night ended. I am trying so hard not to worry about things ... and I think I have done well with controlling it through much of the pregnancy, but it's just getting to the point where I'm starting to feel out of control with the worrying again. It's not a fun feeling either. I don't like it and I know I have to start working to get it under control.
There are just too many things going on in life right now ... that's the problem. I feel over-loaded. I need a break, to get away from it all for about 48 hours - to have nothing to think about, nothing to do, nothing to plan, no lists to make, etc, etc. I also know that won't be happening for quite some time.
Oh well, I will get through it. And hopefully tomorrow will be a better day ... that is if I can get some sleep tonight between all the times I will have to go pee!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Finally did it ...

Today I did something I've been saying I would do for a year. I took my children to church. I had found this church via the internet a while ago. I had been saying we would go, and saying it. But I had one convenient excuse after another after another. Really, it was becuase the thought of walking into a new church caused me so much anxiety that I figured if just thinking about it was that bad, well, I'd probably pass out from nerves actually doing it.
Then my oldest for Awana, is supposed to try to go to Sunday school two weeks in a row (they did give her an alternate verse to learn if she didn't go since really that would be the parents fault) but I just figured it was time to finally step up and go.
So we did it today. And I was very nervous, but excited. I was sure this was going to be the church that we would eventually call "home."
Well first, let me say, that everyone was very nice and very friendly. And I should know becuase it is a very small church and I pretty much was introduced to everyone there. Not that there is anything wrong with a tiny church, but it really just felt too small (by small I mean a congregation of maybe 30?). Secondly, my children went to the childrens church. On the way home they informed me that they had eated 2 cupcakes, about 4 cookies, some candy, lots of juice and a few other snacks. Yeah ... at 10:45-11:45 am, that is what my kids apparently ate. Umm, not that it will kill them, but does that happen every week? Why did they get so many sweet/sugary things? I wasn't exactly impressed.
But here's the biggest thing ... I didn't know what the pastor's message was. He was kind of all over the place ... making a small point about this thing, and a small point about that thing, but yet, I couldn't figure out the unifying message of the overall theme. I felt parts of what he was saying were hard to follow and understand (I seriously wondered if he just started inserting random thoughts just for the heck of it). The other thing was that he made the comment that the more faith we have, the more God will reward us. That's when I felt like, okay, the other stuff I could deal with or maybe it's an off week, or whatever ... but that, well, I can't swallow that. I do not beleive God looks down, ranks the amount of faith we have and then blesses us based on that scale. I think you either have faith or you don't have faith. That's it: 2 options. It's there or it's not there. I don't believe in thinking John has more faith than Sue. but Sue has more faith than Fred. And I certainly don't believe we get things in life based on the amount of faith that we have.
I have a friend who advised trying a church 3 times before making a judgement about returning or not. I'll be honest ... I have no desire to go back next week. Honestly, I don't want to be a part of a church that is going to preach the more faith you have the more rewards you will recieve from God. I don't want to be a part of a church where my kids will get more sugar in one week than I have given them in the last few weeks. I don't want to be a part of a church that is that tiny honestly! Okay, I could get over the size if that was the only issue, but it isn't the only issue. I feel torn .. like I should go back next week just to see, but yet at the same time, I think the whole faith/reward issue is something that won't change for me or them and even if he gives the best sermon next week, it won't change the fact that I just can't agree with that point.

Regardless, I went to a church today. I didn't explode. I didn't have a panic attack that anyone had to dial 911 for! My kids did not self-destruct or have trouble. So, I guess, if I have to go somewhere else next week, I can do it without being quite so nervous.
But of course, that means, that I have to start looking for another church in the area to go to.