Thursday, December 29, 2005

A little break ....

My darling daughters went to my mom's house Tuesday. They were to spend the night and come home Wednesday but called Wednesday and asked to stay there one more night. Dh and I said sure.
Now, don't get me wrong, I miss them terribly!! And the house seems a bit empty without them running around and no barbies or dolls to step over. And I love seeing them with the baby.
But in my mind I thought Yes! I am getting a little break! And then in my mind I thought of all the fun things I would do with my break. I have a new sewing machine to play with, a new MP3 player to put music on, books to read, things to knit, a new computer game to play .... oh, how much fun I was going to have!
Well, let me tell you what I've actually done. I did one load of laundry, vaccuumed, managed to feed myself during the day, took a shower yesterday, and have pretty much slept whenever the baby slept!!
They will be returning home in about 2 hours, and well, I haven't really done a lot of fun stuff!!
But that's okay with me ... I was tired. I needed sleep. And there will be plenty of time to play later!

Monday, December 26, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Well, we survived Christmas! Things were pretty hectic around here for the last few days. Trying to get ready, take care of an infant and take care of the other two kiddos. And when it was all said and done, we didn't just survive Christmas, we actually truly enjoyed Christmas!
On Christmas eve we had all of my dh's family over at the house. I want to say roughly 20 adults and 10 kids (including the 5 people from my family). But it was fabulous, and dh's aunt brought a chocolate fountain! Oh my goodness ... let's just say YUMMY! LOL!!! Oh, I was in heaven with that here =)
The kids had fun playing with all the other kids, and of course, the presents helped make the night a blast too hehehe! We did learn one thing. Our darling baby apparently does not like crowds and being in groups of people. He pretty much cried and nursed the entire time. It was a little frustrating because it's hard when you can't get your baby to relax, and it was kind of sad because of course, everyone wanted to hold him. But I don't blame him - we've led a pretty low key existence in his two weeks of life so to have all that commotion all of a sudden, I can get why he was not too happy!
Christmas day was a lot of fun too, if not a little overwhelming. We usually try to keep Christmas low key, not too many presents because dh and I don't want the kids to think it's all about the toys and gifts. This year, however, things got out of hand. The number of presents was, well, it was a lot!!! LOL! And of course, it's all pretty much opened, and thankfully, almost all of it has been put away. I can't believe how much stuff we all got - including dh and I.
I actually got something I have wanted for a while: an embroidery machine! It's a Singer XL-6000 and so far it looks good. I know need to go out and buy a few things before I begin to use it and figure out all the embroidery options on it. It was a present from my mom and so she said I have to make her grandma sweatshirt with the kids names on it! =)
Well, overall our Christmas was a great deal of fun and everyone enjoyed it.
And to think ... in a week it will be a new year. And I look around and I can't believe how incredibly blessed that my family and I are. And I can't believe how much life has changed in the last year (most notable the newest member!) and to think ... a year ago I would have never guessed I'd be sitting here today, a mother of five, enjoying life and in a much better place than I was a year ago!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

11 days old ...

Well, my darling son is 11 days old. And so far, we've survived! LOL!
I had forgotten some of the fun an infant brings. We have created so many sweet memories all ready ... the girls just dote on their brother. They can't stand when he cries and they instantly run over to try to comfort him anyway that they can. If he's in his swing, they will puch him. If he's in the bassinette, they have figured out the buttons to make it vibrate, make music. Today my 6 year old sang him a lullabye when he started to cry. He stopped crying and fell asleep. She felt so proud of herself for helping her little brother out!
My 3 year old stands and watches him and announces his every movement to us ... "Mom, he opened his mouth. Mom he moved his hand. Mom he looked at me. Mom, he sneezed." It's actually pretty darn cute.
I forgot how special nursing a baby can be. And how peaceful a baby looks as he lays in my arms sleeping. How awesome it is to see big siblings trying to take care of the new baby. How much more wonderful my husband seems when he tries to calm the baby down. How everything can seem so sweet and rosey and perfect and wonderful and loving and how everything can just seem so right in the world.

I also forgot how tired you can feel after a night of waking every 2 hours to nurse a baby. I forgot how sad I feel when my child is crying and I can't figure out how to calm him down. I forgot how it is hard to juggle the needs of the other 2 kids when baby kept me awake for 4 hours straight in the middle of the night. I forgot how scared I felt when dh left that first morning to go to work and it dawned on me that I was going to be alone that day! I forgot how sometimes it feels like the baby has been attached to me nursing nonstop for the whole day. Or that sometimes it feels like the fastest way to wake a sleeping baby is to try to lay down yourself!

But the sweet moments out number (and outweigh) the rough ones. And I have to say we have had 11 very sweet days so far with our newest little addition.

We're all adjusting to the new rhythm for the family. I am adjusting to the sleep for a bit, nurse for a bit, sleep for a bit, change diaper, nurse schedule! And so far he mostly sleeps between feedings during the night, but not all the time! And we've already had thrush (but it seems to have cleared up with some help from gentian violet). Right now we are trying to take care of a raging diaper rash he has that nothing seems to be helping with :-( The girls just love him and dote on him and are quite understanding of mom wanting to take a nap during the day. So, we've hit a few rough spots, but so far they have been few and far between. And we are all just enthralled with this new person in our house. He pretty much has all of us wrapped around his little finger ;-)

Friday, December 16, 2005

I am officially ...

a mother of three now!!
My precious baby boy was born on December 11 at 12:01 pm.
He was kind and I was only in labor for 2 hours! Yes, 2 hours! And for about the first hour I didn't even believe I was really in labor! Good thing my dh picked up on it faster than I did because we were only at the hospital for 45 minutes before he was born. If it were up to me, we probably wouldn't have even called the midwife until I was ready to push ROFL!!!
He also came one day before his due date. The little stinker ... I said I wanted the baby to come early and he did, but barely! He is a big boy - 8 pounds 9 ounces (my second largest baby was 7 pounds 8 ounces) so he beat out his sister by over a pound!
I still just look at him and feel in awe of his arrival. I can't believe it.
We had a beautiful birth ... my husband was able to catch him when he came out and then he lifted him up and we both looked and saw he was a he at the same time! It was just amazing. I still just can't believe it honestly!
He is a great little guy too. He sleeps pretty well. He is nursing well. We hit a bump before my milk came in (he was dehydrated) but now things are going very well. His sisters absolutely adore him (phew on that point!).
My 3 year old just looks at him and watches him. She also announces all his movements to us!! My 6 year old is so eager to help us with him and is just so thrilled she now has a brother!
I think everyone in the family is just tickled pink with his arrival =)

We are adjusting pretty well, although my dh has been home this entire week. Monday he goes back to work and admittedly, I'm nervous about that. I'm pretty tired myself honestly. But at least he is a good baby and I'm getting sleep at night. But of course, we have that cycle of sleep for a 1.5-2 hours, nurse/change diaper for 1/2 to an hour. Most times he does eat and go back to sleep, but a few times he has stayed awake for a while. It's great during the day, but last night he was awake from midnight to 2:30! But, honestly, he is such a good baby so far, that a few times he does that, it's not really that bothersome. He's just my little man! And I am so wrapped up in him right now!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I'm so ready ....

Despite having 20 days until my due date (oh, no, I'm not keeping track or anything at all LOL!) I am ready to have a baby.
I am emotionally ready and we are physically ready ... we have all the baby stuff, my bag is packed, we have plans and back-up plans for when it happens.
Now from this site: The Final 6 Weeks of Pregnancy: Taking Care of Yourself, and Preparing for Labor
it says:

Signs that Labor May Begin Soon / Has Begun.
Possible Signs that labor may begin in the next few days or weeks.
· Backache: Not the type of backache you have in late pregnancy that changes when you shift position, but an on-going dull ache that makes you restless and irritable. <- I am experiencing this · Cramps. Cramping in your belly that is mild to moderate in discomfort. <- I am experiencing this
· PMS symptoms: crabby, irritable. <- I am experiencing this ·
· Nesting Urge. A sudden irresistible urge to clean, or do projects to prepare for baby. <- I am experiencing this ·
· Frequent, soft bowel movements or diarrhea. Flu-like symptoms. <- I am experiencing this ·
If you have these symptoms, it doesn’t necessarily mean labor is going to start right away. It may be days or weeks before labor begins. These symptoms are just a good reminder to make sure you have everything prepared for labor and birth, and to make sure you know what other signs to be watching for. Don’t get overly excited, just continue your normal routine, get lots of rest, eat and drink well, and take care of yourself.

Preliminary Signs that labor may be about to begin.
· Bloody show. During pregnancy, cervix contains mucus, which may be released in late pregnancy. May be a thick ‘plug’ of pinkish mucus, which might come out when you use the toilet. May be thin, mucousy discharge on toilet paper. If there is more blood than mucus, call caregiver. (Note, it’s common to have a brownish, bloody discharge within 24 hours of a vaginal exam, or intercourse. Don’t mistake this for bloody show.) <- Pretty sure this happened already ·
· Water breaks:
o Trickle or a gush. If it’s just a little mucousy fluid, it may be mucous plug.
o Pay attention to what time it breaks, write down its color, odor, etc.
o Call your doctor. Usually (80% of the time), you will go into labor on your own in the next 24 hours.
· Braxton-Hicks Contractions. Also called “pre-labor” or “false labor” contractions. <- I am experiencing this ·
o Some women never experience these, some women may have them for weeks before labor begins.
o Pre-labor contractions don’t progress: they may be irregular, or may stay same length, strength, and frequency. May last for a short time, or for several hours. Some women even start to develop a pattern: with contractions every 6-7 minutes for 2-3 hours, which then stop again. <- I am experiencing this ·
o Discomfort is mostly felt in the front of the abdomen, as muscles tighten up. May feel like your belly is a basketball. <- I am experiencing this ·
o Contractions may stop if you walk, change position or change activity, eat, drink, or empty bladder.
o ‘False Labor’ doesn’t mean they don’t hurt, and it also doesn’t mean that they’re not doing anything. Although the contractions aren’t dilating your cervix yet, they are helping you to progress in other ways: moving the cervix to an anterior position, ripening and effacing the cervix.

Positive Signs of Labor. Labor has begun.
· Gush of amniotic fluid from vagina.
· Progressing contractions: Get longer, stronger, and/or closer together with time. Are usually described as ‘very strong’ or ‘painful’, felt in the abdomen, back, or both. May start in the back, and radiate around to front. Usually increase if you walk.
· Dilation of cervix seen in vaginal exam.

Okay, I get that having that happen doens't mean labor will start imminently or that labor is even close. But I really really really wish it did LOL!! I know my body is getting ready. Okay, so baby is still sitting high, but not as high as my others were at this point. Baby is head down. Stuff is happening. And no labor.

My dh of course, keeps saying that we will have a Thanksgiving baby (which I have to admit he has said almost since the day we found out I was expecting) so he is sticking to his version of labor. I guess I will just have to laugh if the baby does indeed appear on Thanksgiving. But at the same time, I'm trying ot tell myself the baby will be late, like the other two, and my body is getting ready now because it already knows what to do so it will happen sooner.
But I'm ready now. I've hit that wall ... I'm uncomfortable, I'm tired, I'm crabby, I keep getting all this false labor (which I think if I could just eliminate that I'd be fine becuase when it hits I keep wondering if it will turn into real labor).

Never fear, I won't be doing anything silly to try to get this baby out myself early. In fact, I won't be doing anything to try to get this baby out myself. I may be feeling ready, but I want the baby to be ready. That is more important than my comfort level ... well, at least that's what I say a million and one times a day to get me through the rough spots! Eh, it works sometimes, okay, most of the time it doens't, but I still keep saying it because I do believe it!

And who knows ... maybe my husband is correct. Maybe we will be having a thanksgiving baby afterall ... I suppose though, that means we should pick out names or something soon! LOL!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Good news!!!

The baby is NOT breech!
The midwife who originally said it was wrong ... and I stand by that, because I have been feeling this baby like crazy to try to figure it out for sure on my own.
I'm still upset about the midwife who said something to begin with about it (and yes, it has been marked in my chart and they know I'm not happy with that particular midwife).

I also gained a few pounds ... my bp was high for me (130/something that I now can't remember), but I know I was nervous about the u/s tonight becuase I was scared the baby would be breech, so we will chalk it up to that unless it's high again next time. My iron was borderline ... 10.1 (they don't want it below 10.0 they said) and 2 weeks ago it was 10.5. We have decided even though I am above 10.0, I'll start iron pills anyway. If nothing else since I have had trouble with losing too much blood with the previous two births, it can't help to bump up my levels now in case history repeats itself!

We went over my birth plan .. and they said everything I had in there was completely reasonable, in line with their philosophy and would not be a problem at this point! Yeah! And if the midwife I saw today is the person who delivers me, she said she is totally open to allowing my dh to get the baby when s/he is born! Dh said he wouldn't mind doing it, but will decide on the spot becuase he wants to be doing what I need him to be doing at the time of birth, but if all goes well he will more than likely catch the baby! I think that is so neat so I really hope it can happen!

So, overall a great appointment and I'm so happy the baby isn't breech. And I swear, if that one midwife is on-call when I start labor I'm crossing my legs ROFL!!!!

We also talked about some other things ... the midwife said that if she had to bet, she doens't think I'll make 40 weeks. She also said in the scheme of things, that means nothing, because obviously we can't see the future, but that's her feeling about me. Of course, dh has been saying that for like a month or 2 months now so he told her he thought they were both right about it ROFL!

We also discussed maybe inducing right at 40 weeks, instead of waiting until 42 (assuming no labor has started at that point). We will not make any formal decisions until my 40 week appointment because 1)their policy is no inductions prior to 40 without a medical necessity (and thankfully I don't have one) and 2)there is no point to plan inducement now if baby comes on his/her own OR I got into labor on my own anyway.
I feel torn. 50% of me says don't induce until 42 weeks because I want to go into labor on my own. But I admit, the other half says, if I'm 40 weeks, I'm looking ready, baby is looking ready, etc, maybe we should induce. My longest labor was 2 hours 45 minutes. My second labor was about 2.5 hours ... but that was from when they artificially broke my membranes until delivery. The catch is that when they broke my water, nothing actually started for about 30-45 minutes? Which means from the first contraction to delivery probably wasn't even a full 2 hours. Now, one fast birth, well, that wouldn't concern me so much, but 2 fast births? I admit I'm nervous I will be delivering on the side of the road. The other upside of the inducement is that way I get to pick who delivers me. Now, there are 8 midwives in the practice who could be on call. 3 I know, recognize and remember their names, 1 I have met for one appointment, but I honestly can't picture her face anymore. 1 is the one I don't like (and although I only saw her for one appointment as well, I certainly remember her and for all the wrong reasons), The rest work very part time and it would be unlikely that they would deliver me, but I haven't yet met them - not even once. So on the small chance that they are on call, well, I will basically have a complete stranger deliver me.
I will really have to think about this over the next month though. She said, even if we decide to induce ... it won't even be talked about until my 40 week appointment. I will really have to weight the pros and cons in my head about what to do now. OR maybe my dh is right, baby will come early, labor will start by itself and no decision will need to be made ROFL!!!! =)

Christmas cards ....

Okay, why are these comments being left with links to christmas cards? I have yet to actually click a link ... but is someone actually inserting it in the comments themselves, or is soem program that has infested the blogger site?

Monday, November 07, 2005

A good day!

Today was a good day for us!
We went and did the baby shopping we needed to (which really, wasn't that much, but we did get the basinette, which was the big thing I wanted). Okay. I am in love with my basinette. I just love it! LOL! Of course, it is all set-up and in our room, just waiting for a baby to be put in it! =)
I also hit the fabric store .. I have a few things I want to make.
And we went to Best Buy to get something and dh bought my Christmas present ... of course I have to wait until Christmas to get it and now, there is no surprise, but you know what, it's something I really wanted, and well, he can surprise me next year.

The bad news we heard today is that the gp's are probably not going to Florida this winter. First of all, I worry about their mobility once snow comes. Second, grandpa is prone to flu and pneumonia. And third, I'm selfish adn was looking forward to the house to ourselves. With a new baby coming and trying to figure out how the family will work with the new little one, it was just going to be nice to have our own space, our own house, our own room and all that jazz. Not to mention I didn't want to stress about the baby waking them in the middle of the night, or getting dressed for the first few weeks. I will be sleep deprived, not at my best, and just feeling tired I'm sure, and now they will be here to see it all. Not that they are looking over my shoulder to scrutinize me, but they will be here, looking over my shoulder none-the-less. I really hope that something happens and they do end up going, even if they leave late (which they already are since they usually go in mid-October to now) and we know they will be here at least through Thanksgiving.
On the good news, dh did some more work with his new business today and he is ready to take off with it. I have been doing what I can to help out (I even approached someone about it directly, which I was sooooo nervous about and good thing it was just through e-mail otehrwise I might have had a panic attack thinking about it!). LOL! But I did it, and even if that "lead" (I hate referring to a person as a lead -it's so impersonal :-( ) doens't work out, that's fine! I did try. Of course I want this to be successful because one - it means I get my new seewing machine (ROFL!), two - money won't be so tight around here and three - in the next 12 months we HAVE to either buy this house or buy another house. And frankly, I want some extra money to save towards the purchase of a house (and hopefully this house). So I am doing what I can to try to help this be successful. And we know several people now who have been successful with doing it so far, so that is exciting! I just hope and pray it works because it will go a long way for us, even with just a small income amount each month. So, here's hoping it works for us like it has for those we know! LOL!

Friday, November 04, 2005

Long week ...

This has been a long week for me. I don't know if I have a cold or if it's the pregnancy or what, but I feel like crud. I have been throwing up again :-( When I'm not throwing up, I just feel naseous anyway. No food tastes good, nothing settles my stomach. I have huge hot flashes and then all of a sudden I'll be freezing and then back to feeling like I'm standing in a fire.
I talked to my pcp, she said she is a bit worried because when I was there last week my blood sugar was quite low so she told me to modify my diet to raise it and keep it more steady. And hopefully that will help the way I am feeling. So I guess starting today I will be watching what I eat a lot more carefully - not that any food sounds good to me anymore right now though.
Tomorrow dh and I are supposed to go shopping for baby things that we need, so that will be done. Hard to imagine that on Monday I will be 35 weeks along! That's pretty darn close ... 5-7 weeks to go. Yikes! Next Friday I will get my ultrasound to see babies position since they aren't quite sure and one thinks baby is breech (I don't think so though!) But if baby is breech, then we will schedule the version which means baby could theoretically be here in 2-3 weeks. That's really soon. I don't know if I'm ready ....
Other than that, we are just plugging along each day. My oldest completely finished her Awana book for the year and is so proud of herself. I'm proud of her too ... lots of things she memorized and she can say about 95% of them still (which I was worried that she would memorize them for the one night and then forget them, but that seems to not be the case).
My youngest started a park district class this week and is so proud of herself and loving it. I think it's cute =) And I'm glad she is enjoying it.

And here is my dh's new website:
We have spoken to a few people who are actually making money now too so that is good news. We have both tried the X2O now and it doesn't taste bad or gross or yucky! I use one sachet a day myself ... I figure if anything it's worth it to me for the calcium alone. Since I don't drink milk, I gotta get it in other places! LOL!
Anyway, like I said, we'll see what happens with this ... of course I want it to work because then I get a big toy that I want ;-) Teheheeh!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I survived!

Yes, I survived! The party was a success, although the birthday girl showed up an hour late ::sigh::
But it was still a success none-the-less and I survived! The clean-up was not so bad. A few people helped and what was left was quite manageable. Although admittedly, I did not vacuum until this morning and just skipped it yesterday.
It was a nice party, she was quite surprised, and I think everyone had a good time. But I am glad it is over. It really did wear me out. And the morning on Sunday had a few snags (I was fighting back tears at least 3 times). Once the party started and things were going, I sat in a room where I could be almost isolated. A few people came in and and chatted with me for a bit, but basically I just wanted to sit and unwind and honestly, I was not in the mood for socialization! LOL! But overall it was a good party.

Yesterday was another long day of course with trick or treating. We were out for about an hour getting candy and then came home and had pizza. We walked with an aunt and 3 of her kids and the neighbors with their 2 kids. So everyone had fun getting candy and dressing up and all that jazz!
But by the time we got home I was glad because the baby was starting to feel pretty darn heavy by that time.

Then my husband was so cute. He worked late last night (Mondays he works 12-8 instead of a 9-5 shift). So he called to say good-night to the girls and after he talked with them he chatted with me. Our conversation:
Him: "How are you feeling tonight? I'm sure you're glad that it's bedtime after the last few days but how are you doing?"
Me: "I'm good, just tired is all."
Him: "So, you don't think you're going to go into labor or anything like that with all you've been doing for the last week?"
Me: "No! I'm pretty sure there will be no labor coming in the next few weeks but thanks for asking!"
I got a chuckle out of it all and I thought it was pretty cute and sweet of him. I think he's really worried about when this baby is coming. This weekend we are heading to Babies-R-Us to get as many of the things for baby as we can get. I'm kind of glad because I'm ready to get things ready for this baby. And I think it's cute he's so worried about it and just wants to get everything ready now just in case. It's why I love him so much though =)

And on the good side, one of his part-time jobs has ended completely and the other part-time job he is done with 95% of what he needs to do. So now we should have more time ... although his Xooma water mix came yesterday so he'll start to work on that, but I don't anticipate that taking too much time honestly. Maybe initially, but I'm not worried about it. I think the key is to get a good base of customers that will re-order. It is interesting. We have our samples we will be trying later today to see how it tastes. I'm curious ... it has calcium, magnesium and a bunch of other stuff in it, and if it tastes good, I think I might start to drink it! It looks interesting and so we'll see how it goes!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Almost there ...

In just over 12 hours, it will be party time.
I am feeling good about this party. The cake has been picked up. All the major cleaning has been done (tomorrow we will have to go over a few surfaces just to touch up and vacuum, but that's it for cleaning).
That means the big thing tomorrow will be setting up furniture (moving a few things around and putting up table/chairs), picking up the food, preparing food that we didn't buy (which I did most of it tonight), decorating and hopefully just enjoying the party.

Here's the thing that kind of sucks. My oldest dd's birthday was Friday. We did what we could to make her day special of course. We met daddy at work and did lunch with him (since he did not get home until after her bed time), she got a present from us and a present from her sister. We sang to her, she got some phone calls, not a bad day. But not a great day :-( No cake for her on that day and I'm kind of sad about it. The good news is that she is not sad! And she knows she is having a party in a few weeks for close family. So that is the good news. I just feel like in the craziness of everything else, her birthday took a back seat to it all. Well, I don't feel like that happened. I know it happened. I'm glad she doesn't mind. She is actually very excited about the surprise party tomorrow, which makes me happy! And in a few weeks we will have balloons and cake and ice cream for her, and she is happy so I should be happy too.

Anyway, here's hoping I survive tomorrow! And it all goes as planned and nothing happens to derail anything!

Thursday, October 27, 2005


I'm so proud of my hometeam! Woo-hoo for them!!! =)
I haven't been to many games, but I remember the first one my dad took me to =) Oh, I'm just so happy for them! =)

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Close ...

Not an actual ear infection, but she said it was benign ::insert some word similar to position here that i can't remember:: vertigo due to inflamation in the inner ear. Basically, the crystal/fluids in my inner ear aren't working and hence the spinning. And apparently I have a cold on top of it that just started at the same time? I get to take lovely motion sickness pills for it for the next 10 days. She drew blood to double check something (I think she said electrolytes) and I'll go back in a week to make sure all is okey-dokey.
The lovely (said sarcastically) part was that she whipped my head a couple of times to check for reactions! When she did it to the right I thougth I was going to die! LOL! But at least we know what it is and hopefully the spinning feeling will stop!

And on another note, that I forgot to mention yesterday ... my dh signed up to sell a product for a company that does work at home type jobs. The start-up fee was 50 bucks and he will need to make 100 calls to get started ... so not too much money and just a bit of time. He decided to do it becuase *if this can make money, he can take the job he really wants (but isn't offering him enough money to make it feasible to actually take it without getting a second job). So, his uncle told him about it, and he decided why not? It isn't too risky really. We won't become millionares and don't expect to rake in that much (although according to their sales pitch, we could make 100,000 a year with only a few hours a week of work! Which both of us doubt that will happen! LOL!) But it should help and maybe he can take his dream job afterall. But, he said, if he can make 10,000 (unless it takes like 5 years) then he will buy me the embroidery machine I want with the money!! Woo-hoo! I told him he only said that with the hopes that I might help him out with it! ROFL! Because I originally said that I he could do it all he wanted, but I didn't want to help out at all ... but with the posibility of a new machine, well, how could I not help out. Sneaky little devil! So here's to hoping that this works and actually makes money (not a million, but enough for him to be able to take his dream job and me to get my machine) ... and hey, if you are interested in making money while working from home, let me know! I'll update in a month maybe to say if he is actually making money and how it is going, and seriously ... if it is going well and you are interested, let's talk! LOL! =)

Here we go again ...

I'm sick ... again.
What is going on? I think this pregnancy has killed my immune system. I'm not very happy about this at all.
I'm pretty sure it's an inner ear infection. I will go to my primary care physician tomorrow am to make sure and get some meds for it. I'm sure it would go away on it's own without meds, the problem is I think it's inner ear because I'm getting dizzy spells. I feel like I'm on a boat and it's a rocking and a rolling. It just hits me out of nowhere. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm bracing myself. Not that I get so dizzy that I feel like I'm going to fall down or pass out or anything like that, but it's enough to make it hard to do anything really constructive. I had to stop school with my dd today because I couldn't really read anything to her! But we were able to finish later (the beauty of homeschooling!). I did get a lot of good cleaning done today as well. So, I'm on track with my schedule for the party, which is good. One less thing to worry about over the next few days ... as long as I can keep on my schedule, all things will be good. And I was supposed to be out of the house for a good portion of tomorrow, but I cancelled it all (yeah, I figured not driving while getting random dizzy spells might be a wise decision!) So I will try to push through a bunch of laundry tomorrow and get ahead on the whole cleaning schedule. It's so sad that is the most exciting news in my life right now I think!
Anyway, my White Sox are finally about to win game number 3(I hope anyway ... provided they can keep the Astros from scoring) so with that I'm off and hopefully going to bed soon!)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Getting kind of stressed ...

Okay, big party is on Sunday .. that's not even a full week away! I'm starting to feel really stressed about it all! I have the basement pretty much ready to go (which was the one spot in the house that required more than just moving a few peices of furniture and regular cleaning) so that is good, becuase that is the big thing I needed to have done. Now it's just cleaning the first floor and second floor this week. And the garage needs to be done. Ugh. That will be quite a chore, and one I cannot physically do by myself frankly.
the good news is that I have help lined up to come over Sunday morning. I will do all that I can prior to that, but basically I'm leaving the garage for him to do.
Of course, this whole week is so busy anyway, even without a party to get ready for. But if I can survive this week, I think the rest of the year will be easy by comparison LOL!
Of course, next week, we will be kicking into getting ready for baby mode. Dh will have only one job starting Monday (poor guy's been doing 1 full time and 2 part time jobs!) so he will finally really be here. I'm pretty sure baby is still breech. Which is annoying as I've been doing all the breech turning exercises ... that claim to have 80-90% success rate in only 5 days. @@ Well apparently not for me. (and oh, no more laying on an ironing board for me. I switched to other exercises to do that seemed less dangerous!) We'll see what they say on Friday. I'll get to see probably another midwife I've never met before and get yet a third opinion about it. My guess is the next one will probably not worry too much - seeing as I'll be 33W4D and my guess is she'll say don't worry until 36/37 weeks. But last time I was 31W4D and that midwife seemed all worried about it and wanted me to try to get baby turned before the next appointment.
Oh well.
Anyway, it seems my week this week will be full of cleaning, errand-running, shopping, AND the same old activities: ballet, PT, midwife appointment, watching other kids AND we have granny's birthday, my oldest dd's birthday, and a birthday party to attend on Saturday. I'm dreading it all already! LOL!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Another week over ...

Well, almost.
This weekend will continue to be very busy for us, but we will survive.
The good news is that I have my 5 year old's bday gifts bought. I have picked up a few more Christmas items as well. I managed to get my oldest dd's pictures taken today and we picked up younger dd's pictures while there.
The bad news is that there is still a ton of things to do! LOL! Of course, the big party we are hosting is just over a week away. Today I did order the cake. I will order the food tomorrow. I am probably going to order all of it, even though it might be cheaper to make some of it, I just don't even want to deal with it frankly. After the party, it will be time to finish Christmas items, wrap Christmas items, and basically get this house ready for a baby!
Aside from all of that, my kids are both doing well. They are both constantly amazing me!
My oldest is really into Awana this year. She has 2 more jewels to earn and she is done with the big for the year. Yes, she will complete the year's work in 2 months! It's a lot of memorization, and we run through all the stuff she has memorized so far several times a week, and she actually retains it! She isn't just learning it for one night and forgetting. After completing the book once, she may complete it again and then if she can do that, she will get another book to complete!
Not only that, but she is flying through math ... money is now learned! We are flying through time ... her addition facts are coming along. I just can't believe how well she is doing.
Reading is going fabulously. She can actually read a few of the books that we own and is SO proud of that fact. Heck, I'm proud for her! She is 70% f the way through her learning to read book.
We are struggling with normal kid stuff though .. interuptions, not really paying attention as she dances around the house (which has caused more than one spill, mess, fall, etc) and her newest habit is to constantly make noise ... clicking, popping, humming, just noise! It does drive me crazy sometimes, but I hope it's an age thing and not a lifelong habit she will have LOL!
My youngest is being so cute and sweet and such a toddler these days! She has actually heard her sister practice some things so much that she is reciting things! LOL! Not that she knows what half of it means, but she's starting to repeat 10's, 5's, 2's, Awana verses, poems that my oldest is learning. It's so cute and it does also blow my mind away. And of course, my oldest feels important because she's "teaching" her little sister things! Potty training has finally clicked for her. We aren't 100% there, maybe only 60% ... but at least she understands what she is doing now and that is all I need at this point. I think she is a bit fearful of pooping on the potty, so that's our biggest issue, but I have no doubt it will all click very soon. She's so cute now too, it's crazy! She's just at that phase where with her voice and her mannerism, no matter what she does, it's cute. I remember my oldest being in that phase too ... I love it! The sweet voices, hte cute expressions ... awww! Warms my heart.
Okay, that's it for today.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

More complaining ...

Geeze, at this point, some of you probably think that's all I do these days! Granted, I do do my fair share of complaining, I don't do it all the time, but I try to get it all out here if possible LOL!
Anyway, I was sick over the weekend. It wasn't pleasant, let's put it that way. And I had to stay near the bathroom. And I had a lot of cramping, which did slightly worry me. Other people in my house have been sick, but nothing of the stomach virus until it apparently hit me, and well, of course these days no matter what happens, my first thought is if labor is coming! But alas, I was just sick. It passed and yesterday I was okay, but tired. Then at dinner, my stomach felt like it was going to explode. Then a little while later I could feel my sinus's dripping. At around 3 am, as I was still tossing and turning I felt the sore throat start, swallowing became painful and a headache started. Ugh. Why me? Why 2 different virus/colds in just a short week? I think I have enough going on right now with the back pain, pelvic pain, skin stretching, not being able to fit even some of my maternity clothes, being kicked and punched from the inside out and all that jazz! So today the goal is to drink tons and tons of water, rest a lot, and maybe breath some steam should my throat get even more sore.

On top of all of that, I decided to start my exercises to turn a breech baby. I don't know why honestly. I only hit 32 weeks yesterday. But at my last appointment, the midwife told me to start them now and made a huge deal out of the fact that the baby was probably still breech. Of course, when I went there at 29 weeks, the other midwife seemed to think it was no big deal until at least 36 weeks and I really didn't need to do anything about it -- how's that for opposite ends of the spectrum with the breech issue? But I guess the exercises can't hurt and so I figured I would start them. Yeah, laying on an ironing board, upside down ... ummm, who ever the heck decided that would be a wise thing to advise a pregnant woman to do? Well, first of all, I could barely get on it and lay down without killing myself. Then I had huge blood rush to my head after only a few moments and getting off of the iron board was probably slightly more dangerous than getting on it. And they want me to do that 2-3 times a day for 10-15 minutes?! I don't think so. I will look into some of the other exercises recommended to try to turn a breech baby. Which is almost silly, as I think the baby is head down already and I don't believe I'm far enough along to even worry about it. But I'll play along as long as it doesn't require an ironing board anymore! LOL!
Which of course leads me to the next point, If I were not 32 weeks already and closer to 20 weeks, I think I would honestly switch practices. I'm not happy with this one anymore. On the very weird off chance I should ever become pregnant again (which has about as much chance of happening as pigs flying according to my husband) I would not go back. When I started there in April, they had 4 midwives. Great. It was larger than what I wanted, but I did want to have midwifery care with this pregnancy and so I was willing to compromise on having 2, maybe 3 care givers and go with 4. Well 2 of the mdwives delivered babies this summer, so they brought in 2 more midwives to use during their maternity leave and are keeping them on when the other 2 return (which they probably have or will be doing soon). So, the total was 6. Then at one point I went in and noticed they hired 2 more. Putting them at 8. Then they added one more. There are now 9 midwives there. Each one has a slightly different philosophy than the others and some have wildly differently philosophies from each other. I still have not even met all 9 midwives and we're 8 weeks from my due date. I do not like having 9 people ... I hardly know any of them and were I to go into labor now, I would probably not be able to link the faces of the midwives to their names, nor do I think I would even recognize all but 2 or 3 of them by face. I do not like it one bit. I was talking to dh about it last night, and he agrees that there are too many opinions and too many people and even he asked if it was too late to switch to another practice. I was talking to someone else who uses them for a current pregnancy and she is feeling in a similar manner to me - too many people, too many opinions, and not a feeling of continuity in care. Ugh. I don't want to have to worry about it. And I'm banking on a short labor like the other two, and at this point, I will rely mostly on dh to get me through it. But I am very unhappy with my care. I am going to discuss this issue with htem (probably via letter). My dh even had a great idea. He thinks they should break into 3 teams of 3 midwives and each patient should be assigned a team. Then you would just wokr with those 3 midwives for most of the pregnancy so you can feel like you actually get to know the person who will be delivering your baby. Sounds like a nice idea to me frankly! I would be a lot happier with a method like that!

Okay ... anyway, I think that's enough babbling and venting and complaining from me right now! I'm off to try to get some more rest and feel better!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Misc. Items ...

Well, let's see. Time is for me, thankfully, starting to fly by.
Where to begin? Well, I have my oldest dd's 6th birthday on the 28th, I'm helping throw a surprise 40th birthday party on the 30th (but really, I'm helping a 14 year old throw it, so basically I'm doing most of it LOL!), then we have Halloween on the 31. For the rest of October I have PT appointments weekly. I have another midwife appointment on the 28. My oldest has classes every Monday from 10-2, then she has ballet on Thursday early evening, Awana Thursday evenings. We school Tuesday-Friday, and lately have been also doing things on the weekends. Now, this is all combined with normal household items - cleaning, laundry, and planning what exactly we will be doing for school.
Not to mention this month, I need to get oldest dd's pictures taken, although I have started Christmas shopping, I need to get going on that. I want to have the address lables for Christmas cards/birth announcements done.
Then we hit November. I am positive my PT will continue weekly through November, as well as classes, ballet, Awana, and our school work. I will need to finish up any Christmas shopping I have not yet completed, schedule (or take myself) pictures to go in Christmas cards, do all the Christmas cards, wrap all Christmas presents, get baby items set-up and ready to go. Not to mention, Thanksgiving happens around then. And I will go back to the midwife for the 2nd week fo November, and at that point, I will switch to weekly appointments! (Yes, I will just be living at various medical professional offices) as I also have a cavity I need to take care of. After Thanksgiving, it will be time to decorate for Christmas, and towards the start of November, the gp's will be leaving for Florida, so I will be in charge of cooking again!
Then we hit December. All Christmas stuff must be finished. School, awana, ballet, and classes will continue. Mailing of Christmas letters (and finishing them up if necessary will need to take place). I presume, but am not sure I will continue with PT, and weekly midwife appointments. Should the baby not arrive by December 12, I begin twice-weekly midwife appointments. Dh's family is over here for Christmas eve, so with or without baby, getting ready for that and planning all that I can in advance. And provided baby doesn't come 2 weeks late (which I'm not holding my breath for) I will have an infant to take care of. The person who is supposed to take my kids when I go to have baby may now be moving so maybe won't be able to take them! So, I have to find a plan 2 - although I know the neighbor across the street would help out and I have another aunt I can call should I need to, and my parents will help out as well, although they are far away, so it would require shuffling of the kids!
OMG! That is a lot to do, and I'm sure that's not even most of it, if half of it! But the good news is that it's keeping me busy. And it's kind of nice to have a lot of things to do becuase it is helping the time fly by.
Right now I am trying to get this basement in order (where most of our stuff is) because it doens't require a lot of moving things around so much as finding a spot for everything and putting it away in a neat and organized fashion (yes, that is a difficult concept for me LOL!). Not only that, but my kids know that in the next week (and hopefully tomorrow) we will be sorting through all of their toys ... to put them away nicely and to pick some to get rid of. We are overflowing again and we need to thin things out. Then the big thing will be to do a deep cleaning of this house for the big birthday party on the 30th. Which should tide us over until deep cleaning for the Christmas party.
In November when dh doesn't have to work every single day, 7 days a week, we will rearrange our room and set-up areas for baby to 1)sleep and 2)put baby's clothes and items! And he'll probably have a list of things to fix, repair, change, and help me with at that point!
Hmmm ... not sure there is enough things to do right now. Maybe I should add more things to my plate (actually, I might add a bday party for my oldest but I'm not sure LOL!)
Okay ... off to get some work done I guess! I surely have enough things to keep me busy! LOL!

Friday, October 14, 2005

Another appointment down ....

Man, I feel like I was just at the doctor ... oh wait, probably because I was! Switching to 2 week appointments sure does help the time fly by.
Gained a few more pounds ... so total weight gain is 14 pounds. She measured the fundal height at 33.5! LOL! Not that I put any stock into it ... but it's only 2 weeks "over" which last time I was 1 week "under"! See, never perfect, no matter how hard I try hehehe ;-)
Anyway, the midwife I saw today was pretty sure the baby was in a breech position. I swear that the baby is not in a breech position. So one of us is wrong, and well, if I had to bet, I'd bet I was wrong because she's felt a lot more babies than I have. But man, that just stinks. I want the baby to be head down right now. I know I'm not far enough along to worry, but yet, I do. It's just who I am.
But I go back in 2 weeks ... and we'll see what they say then about everything!

Monday, October 10, 2005

So not ready ...

My dh has been talking about looking into getting a new job. He even already had one interview. I've known for some time he has been unhappy at his current job. I understand. Sometimes I hate his job! So it's no wonder that he would dislike it too.
And it's not even that he dislikes it per se. But the hours are very inconvenient and the atmosphere isn't exactly ideal. He really actually enjoys the work, just not the time and the atmosphere in which he must complete the work.
Anyway, we've talked about it. We've discussed. He told me he was going to discuss it with his current boss. I agreed it would be a wise idea. Except I thought, when he said he was going to discuss it with his boss, he meant he would tell his boss the time/environment was becoming an issue and see what happened from there ...
He meant that he was going to tell his boss he needed to be replaced. So my dh has now given notice to his current company. The deal is that he's giving them 2 weeks until he starts to look for new work. While he is looking, they will theoretically be looking for his replacement (but someone else important in the company left not too long ago and they still haven't started looking for a replacement @@) Anyway, he told them when he finds a new job, he will let them know. In the meantime he will still work and give it his all and if they find someone he will train them. So the goal now is for him to find a job before they replace him and let him go. I don't think that will be that hard, especially given how the company has treated the other vaccancy they have had. But I mean wow. It's all going ot happen. Theoretically I could be giving birth the same time my dh is starting a new job.
I admit, I'm nervous. I'm very nervous. But my dh is not a person who makes rash decisions ... he thinks through all the pros and cons and I trust him to not do anything that would really hurt us in the long run and so I support this move. I'm just still shocked by it. I mean, I guess I knew it was coming, but maybe sort of hoping it wouldn't come now. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and the hormones are pretty all over the place right now.

Aside from that, my oldest is very ill. 104.5 was her fever at 3:00 pm today. Lovely. Normally, I don't get worried about fevers, but yeah, the 104.5 did kind of freak me out. Needless to say, we did go to the doctor as the way she was complaining made me wonder if strep was the dx. But the strep test came back negative, so maybe it's just a flu? Lots of acheness, the fever, the fatigue, etc. She had started to perk up prior to bedtime though, so maybe it's a 24 hour flu ... or at least I can hope so ;-)

And other than that, things are just plugging along. I'm 31 weeks along. 9 weeks to go ... that's not too much time. Although, I'm still banking on 11 weeks to go because I don't think this baby will actually come on time. Everything is still sore and it all still hurts. Baby is as active as ever. But, the good news is that baby is head down right now ... so as long as s/he stays that way, I'll be happy! This baby is also low, but not like the baby has dropped-low. I've been very very fatigued lately. I think I'm going to request iron levels be checked at my next appointment (which happens to be Friday). I did buy some iron pills today. I'll start them tomorrow and see if they help at all. I just feel like I can't function some days because the fatigue is soooo much. Which I know it's normal to be tired now, but this feels like it goes beyond tired. So I'm hoping something can help that out.
I still feel like I have a million and one things to do around the house, so I need to get motivated to have energy to get everything done. I think if I can just get energy back, I can really kick some butt on doing all the things I want to do around here! And that would be such a nice thing =)

Well, enough prattling on from here.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Rough day today ...

Well, it started as a normal day, but it didn't stay fun.
I don't know what happened ... if I did too much, if I got dehydrated, but man, early evening the contractions started. Painful, but not regular. I had about 4 an hour for a few hours ... not the 5 needed to call the midwives (which I'm glad for because that means it wasn't really anything to be that concerned with). All I know is at about 7:30 I got off my feet and started to guzzle water like there was no tomorrow. And when I say a lot of water, I mean a lot of water ... roughly 125 ounces in the last 5 hours. Good news is that the contractions have stopped. The bad news is that I have a killer headache that makes me want to scream and I feel sick to my stomach (gee, maybe because it's going to explode from all the water @@)
Ugh. I have to admit, I did start to get very nervous earlier tonight. I don't even want to think about what would happen should labor *really start. I know what happened tonight was not real labor, but I tell you what, with how I was feeling ... for a tiny bit of time, I was really starting to wonder if I would end up in the ER by the time this night ended. I am trying so hard not to worry about things ... and I think I have done well with controlling it through much of the pregnancy, but it's just getting to the point where I'm starting to feel out of control with the worrying again. It's not a fun feeling either. I don't like it and I know I have to start working to get it under control.
There are just too many things going on in life right now ... that's the problem. I feel over-loaded. I need a break, to get away from it all for about 48 hours - to have nothing to think about, nothing to do, nothing to plan, no lists to make, etc, etc. I also know that won't be happening for quite some time.
Oh well, I will get through it. And hopefully tomorrow will be a better day ... that is if I can get some sleep tonight between all the times I will have to go pee!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Finally did it ...

Today I did something I've been saying I would do for a year. I took my children to church. I had found this church via the internet a while ago. I had been saying we would go, and saying it. But I had one convenient excuse after another after another. Really, it was becuase the thought of walking into a new church caused me so much anxiety that I figured if just thinking about it was that bad, well, I'd probably pass out from nerves actually doing it.
Then my oldest for Awana, is supposed to try to go to Sunday school two weeks in a row (they did give her an alternate verse to learn if she didn't go since really that would be the parents fault) but I just figured it was time to finally step up and go.
So we did it today. And I was very nervous, but excited. I was sure this was going to be the church that we would eventually call "home."
Well first, let me say, that everyone was very nice and very friendly. And I should know becuase it is a very small church and I pretty much was introduced to everyone there. Not that there is anything wrong with a tiny church, but it really just felt too small (by small I mean a congregation of maybe 30?). Secondly, my children went to the childrens church. On the way home they informed me that they had eated 2 cupcakes, about 4 cookies, some candy, lots of juice and a few other snacks. Yeah ... at 10:45-11:45 am, that is what my kids apparently ate. Umm, not that it will kill them, but does that happen every week? Why did they get so many sweet/sugary things? I wasn't exactly impressed.
But here's the biggest thing ... I didn't know what the pastor's message was. He was kind of all over the place ... making a small point about this thing, and a small point about that thing, but yet, I couldn't figure out the unifying message of the overall theme. I felt parts of what he was saying were hard to follow and understand (I seriously wondered if he just started inserting random thoughts just for the heck of it). The other thing was that he made the comment that the more faith we have, the more God will reward us. That's when I felt like, okay, the other stuff I could deal with or maybe it's an off week, or whatever ... but that, well, I can't swallow that. I do not beleive God looks down, ranks the amount of faith we have and then blesses us based on that scale. I think you either have faith or you don't have faith. That's it: 2 options. It's there or it's not there. I don't believe in thinking John has more faith than Sue. but Sue has more faith than Fred. And I certainly don't believe we get things in life based on the amount of faith that we have.
I have a friend who advised trying a church 3 times before making a judgement about returning or not. I'll be honest ... I have no desire to go back next week. Honestly, I don't want to be a part of a church that is going to preach the more faith you have the more rewards you will recieve from God. I don't want to be a part of a church where my kids will get more sugar in one week than I have given them in the last few weeks. I don't want to be a part of a church that is that tiny honestly! Okay, I could get over the size if that was the only issue, but it isn't the only issue. I feel torn .. like I should go back next week just to see, but yet at the same time, I think the whole faith/reward issue is something that won't change for me or them and even if he gives the best sermon next week, it won't change the fact that I just can't agree with that point.

Regardless, I went to a church today. I didn't explode. I didn't have a panic attack that anyone had to dial 911 for! My kids did not self-destruct or have trouble. So, I guess, if I have to go somewhere else next week, I can do it without being quite so nervous.
But of course, that means, that I have to start looking for another church in the area to go to.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Appointment today ....

Went in for the monthly visit today at 29 weeks 3 days.
Weight gain: 12 pounds
BP: 90/50 (she asked me if I had been drinking enough fluids becuase it was so low)
Baby's HB: 150's
And that was that.
Now I start every 2 week visits. I'm so ready to be on the 2-week cycle ... it means I'm getting closer and that is exciting news for me ;-)
I will get the 3 hour glucose test next Friday. They wished I would get it done sooner, but at the same time the midwife said it would be okay to wait that long since she's sure I'll pass it anyway. But htey would like me to limit carbs in the meantime and increase protein, which is fine with me honestly. No biggie really.
Baby is breech still, but no biggie. They won't care until 36 weeks and even then, not really care until 38 weeks. My second flipped late, so I'm not worried (but okay, I'm a tiny bit worried since I know I'm high risk for preterm labor).
And that about sums up my visit today.
So for the month of October, I have weekly PT visits (all on Wednesday), I will have 2 OB appointments, I need to make a dentist appointment for myself, we have my 5 year olds fine arts on Mondays, Ballet and Awana on Thursdays .... yeah, I get the feeling I'll be plenty busy for the next 4 weeks. So here's hoping the month of October just flies by. I would like to blink and be at Halloween really. That would be my ideal scenario ;-)
I have officially started Christmas shopping (one person is all the way done and several started). Okay, not much really, but enough that I'm excited about it LOL!
I'm also planning a big party for the end of October. I haven't done hardly anything for it yet :-(
I think tomorrow I may have to come on here and type out a huge to-do list. I have plenty to do for this party, plenty to try to do for Christmas (I would like to be done early this year), just general fall things around the house (i.e. summer things out of closets/dressers), I want to start getting things ready for baby (as a just in case), and then I would like to squeeze in some fun things for myself if at all possible.
But I am feeling tired just thinking about it all LOL!!! Oh well .. I will get through this month. Hopefully it will fly by. And before I know it, it will be November, and how exciting will November be? My dh will be done with his fall job, I believe the gp's will be leaving for Florida, Christmas will be out of the way, and life in general will settle down for a few weeks as we all wait baby's arrival.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Finally ...

We went to the hospital tonight to visit the labor and delivery department.
It's good enough. There is nothing really wrong with the hospital. It's pretty standard. I do think, however, the last hospital I used was a bit nicer hoenstly. I will say this hospital can accomodate sick babies, whereas the last hospital really didn't have any nicu. Not that we've needed one yet, and I don't plan to have to need one this time.
I don't know ... the hospital is nice enough. It works, it even does more than work. But even my dh said that the other hospital was just a tad bit nicer to use. Oh well. It will work. My midwives even have a special room there just for their patients. Of course, it's only one room, so if someone is there, I don't get it. But it's a room that's for labor, deliver, recovery and post partum. That means no switching rooms after having the baby and it's private. I would say though, I have slim chances of getting that room ROFL! But I'll dream about getting that one anyway!
There are 6 other private rooms available (for an extra fee on top of insurance) but I'm sure we won't be paying for that though. The rest of the rooms are semi-private ... 2 moms per room. They will though fill up each room with one patient before doubling any rooms up though. I am just assuming December is a busy time to have babies though, so I will probably plan on sharing. But we'll see. Dh and I will discuss it ... it would be advantageous to have him able to spend the night with me that first night if this labor goes like the other ones!
Anyway, at least we went and saw it. That was a big load off my shoulders. I was terrified my first trip into l&d would be to deliver! But it's not. And now my dh knows where the hospital is (although I went to the hospital to get my ultrasound done, he had not been there yet). So I guess that's good.
I'm still really in a bad mood hoenstly. I'm feeling very sore. Very tired. Very crabby. I have had to excuse myself from fun activities because I just can't walk a lot anymore. It just stinks becuase I still have 3 months to go. I can't imagine how I will feel in 2 months with how I am feeling right now. Tomorrow I go to the PT. I have about 5 new issues to bring up with her. I'm hoping that there is relief possible for all of those issues.

On a positive note, my dh's mom and stepdad were in town for a few days. It was sooo nice to see them, but certainly not nearly a long enough visit at all :-( Of course, I don't think the visit could ever be long enough. But we had a lot of fun with them, even if it was a short trip. We did do a lot of fun things ... well, I also did a fair amount of watching them have fun as I sat. Grrrr ... oh well. That's life as they say. But they left today (they came in Friday). We already miss them of course :-(

As far as updates: still no appraisal! Can you believe that? OMG! I hope they don't have to pay full price for it .. I can't believe they still haven't recieved it. That's just wrong. Wish I had a job where I could turn things in over a week late and get away with it.

Okay ... enough babbling for today.

Friday, September 23, 2005

I'm so freaking mad right now.
I failed that stupid 1 hour glucose test.
They are making me take the three hour. I told htem I didn't want to. The one hour made me feel like shit as it was. No way do I want to take the freaking 3 hour. I have to. Or they won't keep me as a patient @@ I told htem they could even just pretend I took the 3 hour and failed it. I would go on whatever diet they told me too, just don't make me take the 3 hour. Nope. Nope. "The one hour is not a diagnostic test. We can not make any assumptions based on it." Then I asked if the levels were really elevated or just slightly elevated. They wouldn't tell me at first @@ She said it didn't matter, it only matter they were elevated. I said I didn't care, I wanted to know how elevated it was for my own personal information. She sounded annoyed and told me it was only slightly over. Whatever. Geeze. Maybe I do want to switch doctors. I expect to be told my results, whether I was over by one point or 200 points and they are required to tell me the first time I ask last I checked. I'm paying them, they are not paying me.
Whatever. Now I'm crabby and I'm pissed. @@ This is such a PITA. Hell I almost threw up on Wednesday when I took the one hour. I really had wished that I had now. I wonder if I'll throw up during the 3 hour. This sucks. I am so freaking mad. Why can't they let me skip it. I'm willing to pretend I took it and failed. But noooo ... and if I was only slightly over and I really don't want to take the test (and yes, I'm extremely aware of the risks) then why are they making me take it? And if the freaking one hour test can't be used for diagnostic purposes why the hell did I have to take it in the first place? It's all such a joke right now. And I'm pissed off and mad. And I do NOT want to take the 3 hour. I just know, I'm going to feel like crap again for another entire day. Whatever.

Grrr ...

I'm so freaking mad right now.
I failed that stupid 1 hour glucose test.
They are making me take the three hour. I told htem I didn't want to. The one hour made me feel like shit as it was. No way do I want to take the freaking 3 hour. I have to. Or they won't keep me as a patient @@ I told htem they could even just pretend I took the 3 hour and failed it. I would go on whatever diet they told me too, just don't make me take the 3 hour. Nope. Nope. "The one hour is not a diagnostic test. We can not make any assumptions based on it." Then I asked if the levels were really elevated or just slightly elevated. They wouldn't tell me at first @@ She said it didn't matter, it only matter they were elevated. I said I didn't care, I wanted to know how elevated it was for my own personal information. She sounded annoyed and told me it was only slightly over. Whatever. Geeze. Maybe I do want to switch doctors. I expect to be told my results, whether I was over by one point or 200 points and they are required to tell me the first time I ask last I checked. I'm paying them, they are not paying me.
Whatever. Now I'm crabby and I'm pissed. @@ This is such a PITA. Hell I almost threw up on Wednesday when I took the one hour. I really had wished that I had now. I wonder if I'll throw up during the 3 hour. This sucks. I am so freaking mad. Why can't they let me skip it. I'm willing to pretend I took it and failed. But noooo ... and if I was only slightly over and I really don't want to take the test (and yes, I'm extremely aware of the risks) then why are they making me take it? And if the freaking one hour test can't be used for diagnostic purposes why the hell did I have to take it in the first place? It's all such a joke right now. And I pissed off and mad. And I do NOT want to take the 3 hour. I just know, I'm going to feel like crap again for another entire day. Whatever.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Bad day ....

Today everything hurts. My back, my hip, my leg. It's all sore. I feel like I ran a marathon or something. Of course, I have not @@ I just feel so worn out, so tired, so frustrated with it all. I wish I could get relief somehow, but I don't know how. It's just been a bad day overall. I tried very hard not to be crabby towards anyone, and I actually did a pretty good job. I did snap at dh later tonight, but I quickly apologized and I felt bad :-( I just can't believe I have 12-14 more weeks to go. I have never felt this way so early in pregnancy. It's hard to imagine ... 3 months! I have 3 months to go. I feel like I did for the last few weeks of my other two, and then I didn't even feel quite this bad ... uncomfortable yes, but not so much pain. I know I can survive this. I can get through it. I am truly excited about this baby coming into our family, and I do not wish him/her to come early. But yet, this pregnancy is weighing so heavily on me.
Okay ... just had to get that all out. Hopefully I will get some great sleep tonight and tomorrow will be a better day.

Monday, September 19, 2005

No news

Well, no news yet. It's Monday night, but company has decided to stay. And no opportunity has come up.
Regardless, life will be okay. I'm not worried anymore. Mainly becuase I think that nothing will happen soon. And becuase even if something does happen soon, then I know that everything will end up being okay anyway. So no need to worry. The unknown is scary for me, but I just have to remember and remind myself that the unknown does not equal bad things. It's a lesson I'm trying to learn. I hope one day I am able to master that thought. For now though, the unknown will probably continue to send me into a tailspin of worry, anxiety and doubt.

On the other front, I am now 28 weeks pregnant. The end is looming no more than 14 weeks away. Although somedays I complain about it all and feel like there is no way I can survive another 14 weeks, I can and I will. I am getting more and more Braxton-Hicks contractions. My back is achy. I can't sleep at night.
But, I am so excited about this baby arriving. I can not wait to meet him/her. Surprisingly enough for me, I don't feel a ton of anxiety about bringing anothe member into our family. (Of course I have high anxiety for about 1 million and one other things instead LOL!).
I am hoping now that we are about to start fall, things will start to go very quickly. Now that we are schooling, my parents fall festival has started, then it will be Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and before we know it ... December will be here! The time has got to start flying though. It's been dragging ever since April and I'm ready to feel like it's all just whizzing by me! LOL!

Did it again ...

Tonight I watched Life Is Beautiful.
I admit, I had no clue what it was about. I rented it because it won the Emmy and it was supposed to be good.
I didn't read the description. Not a clue it took place during WWII.
Although much different from Schindler's List, it still got to me.
Ugh. I think maybe I should stop watching movies. It seems I either really dislike them all or they end up making me cry :-(

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Responding to comments ....

I have not yet seen either Hotel Rwanda or The Passion. Thinking I should wait until the hormones are not going crazy to even attempt them both (although I am secretly thinking about not watching The Passion at all).
The hardest part of the movie for me was when he was upset he didn't help more people. :-( I wanted to jump into the movie, hug him and try to tell him that he made a difference doing what he did do and that was such an amazing thing .... if we all just helped some. Imagine what a difference in the world overall!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


I have never in my life watched Schindler's List before. Until now.
I just ... ugh. I mean, I know what happened. I studied it. But still, it was a hard movie to watch.

Still don't know ...

Company is here for a week visiting the gp's. Dh doens't want to ask until company is gone.
I have gathered this much information just from little things ... a change in ownership will happen, but when is unknown and the hope of the gp's is that it remains with someone in the family. One other family member is getting ready to sell where they live. Another family member might possible be selling as well. Which basically leaves those two to be the only ones who could afford to take gp's house. That's to my knowledge though ... I could be wrong.
Anyway, if I had to bet, I'd bet that one of those other relatives (specifically I think I know which one) might be the ones who will purchase the house. Dh agrees with me.
But again, there are like 2 small assumptions in there and one large assumption in there. And it's killing me to not know. And it's killing me to think we have to wait to find out. ::sigh:: I think dh should just try to catch one of the gp's and ask ASAP. Not that I think this will all take place in a week. But if the plan is for late winter, well then, I want to be prepared now. I don't want to move either 9 months pregnant or with a month old.
But who really knows ... well the gp's know. And at least one other relative knows, but that relative isn't saying anything (which I understand). And I'm thinking if that person knows ... then it involves them and I don't think the assumptions dh and I are making are all that huge after all ....

Sunday, September 11, 2005

The Unknown ... Again ...

You'd think by now that I'd be used to entering the zone of the "unknown." Nope. Still not used to it. Still hate it. It still drives me crazy to not know things. I mean one of the meanest things you can do to me is not tell me everything about something ... to just give me enough to leave me hanging.
Well, anyway, yesterday dh tells me, in a nonchalent way, the grandparents (gp) are going to have the house appraised Tuesday. Oh. Okay. He figured it was just to kind of get a feel for how things are. The gp's are kind of in a spot where there is potential for a lot of change, and selling this house and permenantly locating to Florida is one of those options. However, we've known for sometime that grandpa was not really ready to do it but grandma is. We know they will eventually want to sell this house, but well, eventually seemed so far away ...
Today, grandma and I go to a party and she mentions that the flooring in the house won't be changed (despite her telling me all summer she wanted the flooring changed) becuase they will just have to leave it for whoever buys it. And she says it like new buyers are right around the corner.
What? Buyers? No changing the flooring? Huh? Someone please tell me what is going on here!
So I come home and tell dh what grandma has said and he decides that there may be more to this appraisal taking place than he originally thought (ummm ... yeah, I could have told him that @@). So I say that I guess we better start looking for a place to move and he tells me that no, it's not. Not until we talk to the gp's about what their plans are. So I assume and mention he will be doing it soon. Nope. He's going to wait until the appraisal value comes back. Excuse me? Huh? We are waiting? My guess is that if they are that serious, there is no better time for them to put the house on the market then in October, after they head to Florida. October. That is in, what? 20 days? Ummm .. and we will wait to ask them about it? They might be selling the house that we are currently residing in and he wants to wait to ask them about it? Please, what kind of logic is that? I dont' get it.
His theory, they haven't told us they intend to sell. They haven't mentioned that they are getting it appraised to decide if it's time to sell or to hold it. They haven't told us anything, aside from there will be an appraisal and then the comment I heard today. So he thinks that even if they want to sell, it won't be soon anyway.
So, now we wait. And hopefully they say something to us. Or my dh says something to them.
Here's my thoughts:
1. I like it here, so naturally I don't want them to sell it. Besides, my dh wants to buy it and we know we can not currently afford to buy in this area. So if they wait a little longer we can (hopefully) save up enough to buy this place. Yes. They are selfish thoughts.
2. They still have a business in the area. I would think they would sell the business first, then the house. Not to mention, almost all the family is in this area. Are they quite ready to be half a country away at this point? Well, I kind of hope not honestly! LOL! See, not all my thoughts are selfish!
3. If they do sell, then I want to be out of their house prior to this house going on the market. Again, a selfish thought ... I don't want ot have to constantly clean up after the kids, I dont' want to have this house show-ready at all times of the day, I don't want to have to leave if a realtor calls and wants to come over in a half an hour. Besides, non-selfish thought, I think the house would sell faster and do better if there wasn't our clutter here as well. It will be better for them if we are not here when they want to sell it. I would still be willing to come over and clean once a week to keep the house looking well, but then they don't have to worry about crowded rooms (and both our bedroom and the kids room look too full to fully appreciate it), our things being everywhere and the possibility of the kids making messes at all times.

So that's where it stands. Dh is telling me not to worry. He will handle it. If we have to move, he promises that we will not go back to a place like where we just moved from last year. We can't stay in a spot as nice as where we currently are, but he will keep us out of a bad house. He says not to think about moving yet, because for all we know, they won't really put it on the market and then we've wasted worry for nothing (well then just ask them now so we know for sure! LOL!). Also, he said maybe we can rent the house from them. We know we can't buy it yet, but maybe we can rent it for a while and see where it leaves us.

Then he says we should look at this as an opportunity. Maybe this is our sign that it's just time for us to get our own place. We know it will be crowded here with the baby, our family and the gp's all under one roof. So maybe we need to get our place with room and be excited about that. Also we talked about how he isn't exactly completely satisfied with his current job. Maybe, and this is a HUGE maybe (even more maybe-ish then teh gp's selling the house) that he will look into getting another job ... which means we could potentially move to another area ... even another state.

Wow. That's a lot of change to take all at once. Especially with a new baby coming. I am 27 weeks tomorrow. That leaves 13 weeks until my due date. I will be honest, I will not want to move prior to that due date, and I won't want to try to move with a 4 week old either! This is why I want to know now. I want to ask them if they indeed plan to sell the house. If so, when do they plan to put it on the market? If my dh is going to take this change to look for a job, where will he look? How far away from here is his range? Out of state? Which state would he want to locate to?

All of these questions in my mind. I'm not opposed to moving. I don't want to because I love this house, I love where it is, and I hate to think that the gp's will be in Florida full time :-( I've lived with them for a year now. I'm sort of attached to them. My kids are attached to them :-( I love seeing my 3 year old and grandma sit on the couch together and have a "conversation." Sometimes my kids read to grandma. M naps with grandma. Both of them love to play with grandpa ... to tickle him, to laugh with him, to just hang out with him. If this happens all that will be lost, and it's so magical - to watch my kids get to really know their great grandparents. That's not something a lot of kids get these days. That is really what will be the hardest part of all of this :-(

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Stop growing!

Today my youngest turned 3. She's 3! I can't believe she is 3 years old! Where did the time go? I feel like I just gave birth to her yesterday, and now, in a blink of an eye, she is 3! I just am still amazed. And of course, not only did she turn 3 today, but over the last month she has really changed and grown a lot. The way she talks now, it just sounds older. All of a sudden she can do things "by myself" and doesn't need the same amount of help that she needed just a short time ago.
Just growing and changing right before my very eyes. And it's so bittersweet. Half of me is saying "Woo-hoo! You go girl!" and the other half wants to cry out "Stop it! Stop growing right now! You may not get any older!"
But it was a good day for her. We had a party this even ... about 18 people were here. It went well. She had fun and of course has a million and one new toys to play with =)
She is so proud that it's her birthday ... so sweet. It's been a good day ... and I haven't even shed a tear over her birthday yet!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Saying hi ...

Not a lot really to share at the moment honestly!
Things are going here ...
Actually, I have to say "school" is going fabulously =) My 5 year old is blowing me away. I can not believe how fast she is learning things, how quickly she absorbs them, how into her work she (usually) is. Last week she read her first book by herself. It was the Bob book number 1 - pretty simple, but she did it on her own! Today she read Bob book number 2 by herself! She is getting so good with her reading. She is flying through her reading lessons ... she is getting better at not having to sound out every single word. I'm just amazed ... just absolutely amazed by her! Math is going so well ... we have all this learning going on! My dh and I are just amazed by her and all that she can do!
Not only that, but my littlest one has changed so dramatically in the last month - the way she talks, the phrases she uses .. they sound so much more grown up lately. She is trying new things - just amazing me constantly too! And she wants to be like big sister ... yesterday morning, could barely move a mouse at all ... today, she can play very simple games! I can't beleive it! And she's so proud of herself "I won! I won!" she tells me "high five mom" she says so happily with her hand in the air waiting for me! I love it! I can't believe all of this. Somedays I feel like I'm living in a dream ...

But of course, there is always something to remind me that it's not a dream! LOL! My back is worse than it has ever been (aside from when I slipped a disc). I'm dying. Ugh. Both sides of my pelvis area are not doing well (of course, not just one side anymore @@), it hurts to bend over ... and of course bending over has to be done a million times a day ... getting clothes out of the drawers, doing laundry, doing dishes, helping the kids, picking things up, blah, blah, blah ... I know in the grand scheme it is relatively small and minor, but it's an issue none-the-less and it is affecting what I can and can't do. I feel like I need to not move to not feel pain. Dh told me to just take tylenol or something, but I hate to take medicine right now. I've taken so much this pregnancy already it feels like, that I'm afraid to take more.
I guess the good news is that so far I haven't taken medicine ... the pain is not constant and it's not very bad all the time. I can still manage with it, most of the time. A couple of times a day, I'm really wanting to take something, but if I lay down for a while, that helps enough. That and ice and just trying to think of other things! Hopefully, I can manage to keep the pain at that level and not let it get worse. I see the PT again tomorrow so we'll see what happens ...

Other than that, it's just same old around here.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

So sad ....

I just can not believe the devastation left behing in the wake of Katrina :-(
The images are breaking my heart. The stories are breaking my heart. When I think of all the lives lost, people who have so much in dealing with this. And not only do they have to deal with it now, but so many people will be displaces for sooo long. All the people they are moving to the astrodome .. I am glad they have found better shelter for them, but now they are saying they may stay there for a month?! I can't imagine. They are dealing with so much, and then to be displaced like that? And how many of them will leave the dome in a month only to go back to find their house gone, ruined, destroyed? Ugh.
And it makes me mad. We knew the storm was coming. Warnings were issued. Why couldn't they move the eldery out of the area? Why couldn't they get people who couldn't leave for whatever reason out BEFORE it all hit? Why weren't the levies built to handle anything over a Catergory 3 storm? They are saying hte deadliest hurricane in 100 years? Well, the technology in 100 years has come so far. I can't comprehend how this could happen.
Things were not made to handle a storm like this. Why not? I know the chances of a category 5 hurricane are slim, but the possibility has existed. They kept saying "it is the storm we have feared would hit for a long time." Well, then if they had been fearing it (and that makes me think expecting it would hit sometime, just not knowing when) why the heck does it feel like the storm caught officials so off guard?!?!
Grrr ... the loss of life, the sad stories. Sigh. My heart is breaking for them. We have already donated money to organizations that will help, but I tell you, it just does not feel like it is nearly enough. Here I sit, in my nice house, with my family, not knowing need for food, water, shelter. Living a mostly comfortable life. Why did it hit them and not me? Why down there and not somewhere else? I suppose luck of the draw of the weather patterns. It just stinks that it is happening. It feels like we didn't do enough to get things in order before the hurricane hit and it feels like it's hard to do enough for it now on a personal level.

Monday, August 29, 2005

25 weeks down ....

15-17 to go! I realized over the weekend I am mentally ready to have this baby. Adding this baby to our family does not scare me anymore. It does not cause me anxiety. In fact, I am feeling excited and anxious to greet this little person! This is a big feat for me as the amount of anxiety I experienced during my first 2 pregnancies was VERY VEYR VERY high. I only wish I had achieved this sort of peacefullness feeling during my last two pregnancies. I'm glad I have finally found it ... better late than never I guess.
I have, however, been feeling much anxiety over Katrina. I'm not even in the path, but I am thinking of all the many people who are in the path, or have survived her already. The images are just so sad :-( Many prayers going out to people affected by it.

I had another PT appointment today. We were able to get my hip back in place. She said I was almost perfectly alligned (which is a good thing). She gave me stretches to start doing and at my next appointment she will give me actual exercises to help my back out. I walked out feeling great and so upbeat. Then tonight I was just walking along at the library (to get baby name books) and all of a sudden something just gave. I don't know what it was, but I was limping pretty badly and on the verge of tears :-( I came home and rested and it wasn't so bad. I'm hoping tomorrow I wake up and it's fine. But if it's not, my PT is back in the office Wed. am so I can call and talk to her.
And, worse than that, my 2 year old is sick :-( She was constipated all day today. This is now the third time this summer it has happened (it's like it happens every 5 or 6 weeks poor thing). So we've been through it twice already. I called dh and asked him to bring prune juice home and all that jazz. Right before bed, she was sitting on my lap complaining her tummy hurt bad. I figured it was from being constipated and just kind of tried to help her calm down (hoping if I could get her to relax maybe she would get that poop out). And she kept complaining. So dh picked her up to carry her upstairs and wouldn't you know it ...the poor kid threw up everywhere. She was just crying :-( and miserable. I hate when she gets sick. I hope it's nothing serious. I hope her stomach was maybe just acting up becuase of the constipation, but it hasn't happened the last 2 times we've dealt with it. So she got a bath (although she still smells cuase it was in her hair and washing hair was not going to go over well), and went to bed. So far she's been sleeping and it's been about 3 hours. I hope that in the am she back to her normal self and feeling better. I just hate having sick kids :-(
My 5 year old was complaining she didn't feel good around dinner time - we assumed that she was just looking for extra attention since M was getting it for her tummy issues. But now I wonder ... I'll have to keep an extra eye on her tomorrow. Because if one is really sick with something, I will expect the other to be sick with it as well! But, man, it is just breaking my heart :-(

Anyway, I am trying to keep in mind that we are in our own house, we are not dealing with no power and a big storm. And all of those that are dealing with teh storm and devastation it is leaving in it's wake are in my prayers tonight.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Naughty girl ...

Today I was naughty and bought 2 very obvious boy outfits in size 3-6 months. Hmmm ... guess what I'm hoping this baby will be?!?!? LOL!!
In my defense, if I have a girl, I'm all set for clothes, but if I have a boy, I have harldy anything without frills and lace. And I'm telling you right now, if I do have a boy - he will not be wearing frills and lace! I have enough frills and lace. I'm ready for "boy" clothes!
And, well, really I didnt' buy them, my mom bought them for me (cause she's nice like that) but I was preparing to buy them when she just did it!
She is going to wrap them up for the baby if he is in fact a he at birth and she is saving the receipts just in case.
I just hope that we don't have to return them!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Warning: Mood swing in progress ...

Yep. I am in the midst of a mood swing. Everything is terrible. Everything is bad and everything is just terrible.
I know in my mind it's not really and things aren't even bad, but I'm just in a funk and I could care less about what the rational side of me is saying frankly. And if you want to try to remind me, then watch out. Because I will plead temporary insanity for anything I might say or do should you attempt it.

Ugh. I hope tomorrow I wake up in a better mood.

But aside from me being crabby, everything else is going well. My 5 year old continues to amaze me with her knowledge and how fast she can pick up on things. School was NEVER that easy for me. I mean, once I learned something, I learned it, but it took me a while to get the hang of things. She just gets it so quickly. It amazes me, and yet, scares me! What happens when she gets smarter than me? Sometimes I feel like it could happen as soon as next week! No, I'm happy she's so bright. And so far, just loving school and she just wants to learn and soak it all up. I'm trying to take advantage of it while I can LOL!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Relief in sight ...

I am so happy! I went for my first physical therapy appointment today. I really expected them to say something along the lines of "You're pregnant. That's why your back hurts. There's nothing to do until the baby is born."
Apparently, that's not it at all! My hip joint is all out of place and not moving on the left side. And that is exciting because that can be worked on and fixed! YEAH! I am just so happy! Today she moved it about 50% back into place. I will go back Wednesday to try to get it back all the way, and to see if it has stayed where she put it today or if it popped out again. She tried to manipulate it back all the way today, but it is apparently stubborn and didn't want to move. She thinks that is actually a good thing becuase she said a lot of times she can pop it back in but it's pops out very quickly. We are hoping since it isn't moving around so easily that once she gets it back into place, it will stay in place for the rest of the pregnancy, or at least for a while! Woo-hoo! I sure hope so.
But I'll go back Wednesday to check it, try to get it into place. And then one time next week and one time the following week. And we'll see how it is looking at that point to decide when and if I need to come back. This is just so nice. That there is a reason and it can be worked on. Yeah!!!

On another note, we are trying to plan a trip to the planetarium by us as part of our Solar System unit. And Stacy, if you still read this, it's all thanks to you! You asked me about science/social studies and I wasn't really planning on doing anything with it, but decided to and we are having so much fun with it! My 5 year old is having so much fun learning about the solar system and the planets!

So, okay, just excited about relief for my back! So nice!! LOL!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

He's home!!

Well, he returned home yesterday and I was sooooooo happy to see him. The kids were on cloud nine to see daddy too!
It's so nice to have him home again too. I really did miss him, but it was like when I saw him all the missing just flooded me! I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to ever let him out of my sight, but I did (he had to go out to work tonight). I am just so happy he is home! I told him I wouldn't get upset with him for at least 48 hours, but after that, anything goes ROFL!!! ;-)
And on another good note, I did survive the week quite nicely actually. Things got done, the kids were taken care of, and no accidents happened LOL!!! =)

On a cute note, a little baby (about 8 weeks old) came to see us today. My 2 year old ran into the house and saw the baby and she said "Oh mom! the baby came out of you!" and I thought it was just so cute! LOL!

Okay, that's all. I am just so glad my dh is home safe and sound! I had to shre!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Crabby and sore ...

Ugh. I am so sore today. My back is just killing me. I want to scream. I want to rip it off. Usually, when I get so sore, I can ask dh to just press very hard on my back and it helps soooooo much .. of course, he's not here right now @@
We walked all day yesterday, and I was walking most of the day before and I'm sure that that is why my back is killing me. Not to mention I've gained 5 pounds in a short time. I'm excited about it, but still, at least some of it is from baby growing bigger and I think that is adding to the pain.
And I set up my PT appointment, my midwives sent in the prescription for me, and the stupid PT place won't accept a prescription from a CNM (certified nurse midwife). Which is ridiculous because CNM have full prescription powers @@ I am just so mad. The PT place told me to have the OB sign it. I don't have an OB. I am in an office of midwives, that's it. This is ticking me off. I seriously think I'm going to cancel my appointment and maybe try a chiropractor or go to an office that has accepted a script from my midwives in the past. I'm just bummed because I picked the office I did because I know someone who works there and I wanted to have her do my PT.
Sigh. I'm just tired, sore, and crabby!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Ultrasound today ...

I had my ultrasound today. It sucked! LOL!
I don't get it done by my midwives. I have to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound technition to do it for me. Which means, they tell you nothing. They take their measurements, print up a report, and send it off to the doctor/midwife and let them tell you what it all means.
I wanted to know things!
At first I could see the screen. I know I'm 22 weeks 6 days right now. The u/s machine came out with measurements at 24 weeks 3 days. Not that I'll get my due date changed, but I' thinking I got a big baby ROFL!! (The average 22 weekers is 1.0 lb and a 24 weeker is 1.4 lb. That's a big difference at this stage in the game!). So I said, "Oh looks like I'm having a big baby!" kind of jokingly. He turned the screen so I couldn't see anything anymore! I was kind of annoyed at that @@ I understand he can't tell me anything, but I wish now I had kept my mouth shut so he wouldn't have turned the darn machine. So he wouldn't/couldn't tell me how big the u/s was measuring the baby, the due date the u/s was predicting, if all the measurements were normal or not. Nothing @@
Then, I told him right away "I do NOT want to know the gender." He said that's fine, he wouldn't tell unless specifically asked. So at the end he told me he could point out features (apparently that is allowed) and he showed me head, heart, spine, hands, then he showed me the legs. While showing me the legs, he literally showed me a shor of the legs from the front. Something was inbetween those legs. Was it an umbillical cord or a penis? I don't know. But something was there. I have a profile shot of the baby he printed for me and in that picture, I can see the umbillical cord ... it comes out from the babies belly button and goes straight out ... it is not going between the legs in that shot. So I'm leaning towards the fact that I saw a penis today. But the baby could have moved, so who really knows?
Then he gave 4 pictures, one profile picture (that is so cute!) 2 pictures of the baby's face looking directly at us (which honestly, look a bit creepy and skeleton-like) and then of a foot. No one can figure out the foot picture - I showed some people. But an aunt looked at it and said she thought she figured it out, and right next to the leg she swears she sees a penis.
::sigh:: Of course I am really hoping for a boy. And I really want a boy. And if I had to guess, I'm going to guess boy right now. But I hate to get my hopes up because 1)the shot I saw there could be an umbilical cord and 2) the u/s picture I have here doens't really look like much, so who knows what the so-called penis really is? But I wish he wouldn't have shown me that shot between the legs, and I wish he hadn't printed out the foot picture!
And he was so anal about telling me anything, aside from pointing out features (so at least I know there are 2 arms, 2 legs, a head, spine, heart, stomach, and bladder). Then he tells me that the baby is breech and that may be an issue for birth. Hello. I'm 22 weeks! Lots of time for the baby to turn still.
Anyway, I guess my midwives will get the report in 48 hours. So hopefully if I don't hear from them by Thursday all is well. My next appointment with them isn't uuntil the end of the month, so I won't hear "official" results until then. I guess I just wanted to hear today that everything looks good and healthy with all the major organs and what-not, and I didn't get that.
Oh well.
I will say, it never ceases to amaze me to see the baby like that. Even with baby number 3, getting an ultrasound is amazing IMO! To see the baby moving and see the face and all that stuff. It was sooo nice =)