Wednesday, August 31, 2005

So sad ....

I just can not believe the devastation left behing in the wake of Katrina :-(
The images are breaking my heart. The stories are breaking my heart. When I think of all the lives lost, people who have so much in dealing with this. And not only do they have to deal with it now, but so many people will be displaces for sooo long. All the people they are moving to the astrodome .. I am glad they have found better shelter for them, but now they are saying they may stay there for a month?! I can't imagine. They are dealing with so much, and then to be displaced like that? And how many of them will leave the dome in a month only to go back to find their house gone, ruined, destroyed? Ugh.
And it makes me mad. We knew the storm was coming. Warnings were issued. Why couldn't they move the eldery out of the area? Why couldn't they get people who couldn't leave for whatever reason out BEFORE it all hit? Why weren't the levies built to handle anything over a Catergory 3 storm? They are saying hte deadliest hurricane in 100 years? Well, the technology in 100 years has come so far. I can't comprehend how this could happen.
Things were not made to handle a storm like this. Why not? I know the chances of a category 5 hurricane are slim, but the possibility has existed. They kept saying "it is the storm we have feared would hit for a long time." Well, then if they had been fearing it (and that makes me think expecting it would hit sometime, just not knowing when) why the heck does it feel like the storm caught officials so off guard?!?!
Grrr ... the loss of life, the sad stories. Sigh. My heart is breaking for them. We have already donated money to organizations that will help, but I tell you, it just does not feel like it is nearly enough. Here I sit, in my nice house, with my family, not knowing need for food, water, shelter. Living a mostly comfortable life. Why did it hit them and not me? Why down there and not somewhere else? I suppose luck of the draw of the weather patterns. It just stinks that it is happening. It feels like we didn't do enough to get things in order before the hurricane hit and it feels like it's hard to do enough for it now on a personal level.

Monday, August 29, 2005

25 weeks down ....

15-17 to go! I realized over the weekend I am mentally ready to have this baby. Adding this baby to our family does not scare me anymore. It does not cause me anxiety. In fact, I am feeling excited and anxious to greet this little person! This is a big feat for me as the amount of anxiety I experienced during my first 2 pregnancies was VERY VEYR VERY high. I only wish I had achieved this sort of peacefullness feeling during my last two pregnancies. I'm glad I have finally found it ... better late than never I guess.
I have, however, been feeling much anxiety over Katrina. I'm not even in the path, but I am thinking of all the many people who are in the path, or have survived her already. The images are just so sad :-( Many prayers going out to people affected by it.

I had another PT appointment today. We were able to get my hip back in place. She said I was almost perfectly alligned (which is a good thing). She gave me stretches to start doing and at my next appointment she will give me actual exercises to help my back out. I walked out feeling great and so upbeat. Then tonight I was just walking along at the library (to get baby name books) and all of a sudden something just gave. I don't know what it was, but I was limping pretty badly and on the verge of tears :-( I came home and rested and it wasn't so bad. I'm hoping tomorrow I wake up and it's fine. But if it's not, my PT is back in the office Wed. am so I can call and talk to her.
And, worse than that, my 2 year old is sick :-( She was constipated all day today. This is now the third time this summer it has happened (it's like it happens every 5 or 6 weeks poor thing). So we've been through it twice already. I called dh and asked him to bring prune juice home and all that jazz. Right before bed, she was sitting on my lap complaining her tummy hurt bad. I figured it was from being constipated and just kind of tried to help her calm down (hoping if I could get her to relax maybe she would get that poop out). And she kept complaining. So dh picked her up to carry her upstairs and wouldn't you know it ...the poor kid threw up everywhere. She was just crying :-( and miserable. I hate when she gets sick. I hope it's nothing serious. I hope her stomach was maybe just acting up becuase of the constipation, but it hasn't happened the last 2 times we've dealt with it. So she got a bath (although she still smells cuase it was in her hair and washing hair was not going to go over well), and went to bed. So far she's been sleeping and it's been about 3 hours. I hope that in the am she back to her normal self and feeling better. I just hate having sick kids :-(
My 5 year old was complaining she didn't feel good around dinner time - we assumed that she was just looking for extra attention since M was getting it for her tummy issues. But now I wonder ... I'll have to keep an extra eye on her tomorrow. Because if one is really sick with something, I will expect the other to be sick with it as well! But, man, it is just breaking my heart :-(

Anyway, I am trying to keep in mind that we are in our own house, we are not dealing with no power and a big storm. And all of those that are dealing with teh storm and devastation it is leaving in it's wake are in my prayers tonight.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Naughty girl ...

Today I was naughty and bought 2 very obvious boy outfits in size 3-6 months. Hmmm ... guess what I'm hoping this baby will be?!?!? LOL!!
In my defense, if I have a girl, I'm all set for clothes, but if I have a boy, I have harldy anything without frills and lace. And I'm telling you right now, if I do have a boy - he will not be wearing frills and lace! I have enough frills and lace. I'm ready for "boy" clothes!
And, well, really I didnt' buy them, my mom bought them for me (cause she's nice like that) but I was preparing to buy them when she just did it!
She is going to wrap them up for the baby if he is in fact a he at birth and she is saving the receipts just in case.
I just hope that we don't have to return them!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Warning: Mood swing in progress ...

Yep. I am in the midst of a mood swing. Everything is terrible. Everything is bad and everything is just terrible.
I know in my mind it's not really and things aren't even bad, but I'm just in a funk and I could care less about what the rational side of me is saying frankly. And if you want to try to remind me, then watch out. Because I will plead temporary insanity for anything I might say or do should you attempt it.

Ugh. I hope tomorrow I wake up in a better mood.

But aside from me being crabby, everything else is going well. My 5 year old continues to amaze me with her knowledge and how fast she can pick up on things. School was NEVER that easy for me. I mean, once I learned something, I learned it, but it took me a while to get the hang of things. She just gets it so quickly. It amazes me, and yet, scares me! What happens when she gets smarter than me? Sometimes I feel like it could happen as soon as next week! No, I'm happy she's so bright. And so far, just loving school and she just wants to learn and soak it all up. I'm trying to take advantage of it while I can LOL!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Relief in sight ...

I am so happy! I went for my first physical therapy appointment today. I really expected them to say something along the lines of "You're pregnant. That's why your back hurts. There's nothing to do until the baby is born."
Apparently, that's not it at all! My hip joint is all out of place and not moving on the left side. And that is exciting because that can be worked on and fixed! YEAH! I am just so happy! Today she moved it about 50% back into place. I will go back Wednesday to try to get it back all the way, and to see if it has stayed where she put it today or if it popped out again. She tried to manipulate it back all the way today, but it is apparently stubborn and didn't want to move. She thinks that is actually a good thing becuase she said a lot of times she can pop it back in but it's pops out very quickly. We are hoping since it isn't moving around so easily that once she gets it back into place, it will stay in place for the rest of the pregnancy, or at least for a while! Woo-hoo! I sure hope so.
But I'll go back Wednesday to check it, try to get it into place. And then one time next week and one time the following week. And we'll see how it is looking at that point to decide when and if I need to come back. This is just so nice. That there is a reason and it can be worked on. Yeah!!!

On another note, we are trying to plan a trip to the planetarium by us as part of our Solar System unit. And Stacy, if you still read this, it's all thanks to you! You asked me about science/social studies and I wasn't really planning on doing anything with it, but decided to and we are having so much fun with it! My 5 year old is having so much fun learning about the solar system and the planets!

So, okay, just excited about relief for my back! So nice!! LOL!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

He's home!!

Well, he returned home yesterday and I was sooooooo happy to see him. The kids were on cloud nine to see daddy too!
It's so nice to have him home again too. I really did miss him, but it was like when I saw him all the missing just flooded me! I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to ever let him out of my sight, but I did (he had to go out to work tonight). I am just so happy he is home! I told him I wouldn't get upset with him for at least 48 hours, but after that, anything goes ROFL!!! ;-)
And on another good note, I did survive the week quite nicely actually. Things got done, the kids were taken care of, and no accidents happened LOL!!! =)

On a cute note, a little baby (about 8 weeks old) came to see us today. My 2 year old ran into the house and saw the baby and she said "Oh mom! the baby came out of you!" and I thought it was just so cute! LOL!

Okay, that's all. I am just so glad my dh is home safe and sound! I had to shre!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Crabby and sore ...

Ugh. I am so sore today. My back is just killing me. I want to scream. I want to rip it off. Usually, when I get so sore, I can ask dh to just press very hard on my back and it helps soooooo much .. of course, he's not here right now @@
We walked all day yesterday, and I was walking most of the day before and I'm sure that that is why my back is killing me. Not to mention I've gained 5 pounds in a short time. I'm excited about it, but still, at least some of it is from baby growing bigger and I think that is adding to the pain.
And I set up my PT appointment, my midwives sent in the prescription for me, and the stupid PT place won't accept a prescription from a CNM (certified nurse midwife). Which is ridiculous because CNM have full prescription powers @@ I am just so mad. The PT place told me to have the OB sign it. I don't have an OB. I am in an office of midwives, that's it. This is ticking me off. I seriously think I'm going to cancel my appointment and maybe try a chiropractor or go to an office that has accepted a script from my midwives in the past. I'm just bummed because I picked the office I did because I know someone who works there and I wanted to have her do my PT.
Sigh. I'm just tired, sore, and crabby!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Ultrasound today ...

I had my ultrasound today. It sucked! LOL!
I don't get it done by my midwives. I have to go to the hospital to get an ultrasound technition to do it for me. Which means, they tell you nothing. They take their measurements, print up a report, and send it off to the doctor/midwife and let them tell you what it all means.
I wanted to know things!
At first I could see the screen. I know I'm 22 weeks 6 days right now. The u/s machine came out with measurements at 24 weeks 3 days. Not that I'll get my due date changed, but I' thinking I got a big baby ROFL!! (The average 22 weekers is 1.0 lb and a 24 weeker is 1.4 lb. That's a big difference at this stage in the game!). So I said, "Oh looks like I'm having a big baby!" kind of jokingly. He turned the screen so I couldn't see anything anymore! I was kind of annoyed at that @@ I understand he can't tell me anything, but I wish now I had kept my mouth shut so he wouldn't have turned the darn machine. So he wouldn't/couldn't tell me how big the u/s was measuring the baby, the due date the u/s was predicting, if all the measurements were normal or not. Nothing @@
Then, I told him right away "I do NOT want to know the gender." He said that's fine, he wouldn't tell unless specifically asked. So at the end he told me he could point out features (apparently that is allowed) and he showed me head, heart, spine, hands, then he showed me the legs. While showing me the legs, he literally showed me a shor of the legs from the front. Something was inbetween those legs. Was it an umbillical cord or a penis? I don't know. But something was there. I have a profile shot of the baby he printed for me and in that picture, I can see the umbillical cord ... it comes out from the babies belly button and goes straight out ... it is not going between the legs in that shot. So I'm leaning towards the fact that I saw a penis today. But the baby could have moved, so who really knows?
Then he gave 4 pictures, one profile picture (that is so cute!) 2 pictures of the baby's face looking directly at us (which honestly, look a bit creepy and skeleton-like) and then of a foot. No one can figure out the foot picture - I showed some people. But an aunt looked at it and said she thought she figured it out, and right next to the leg she swears she sees a penis.
::sigh:: Of course I am really hoping for a boy. And I really want a boy. And if I had to guess, I'm going to guess boy right now. But I hate to get my hopes up because 1)the shot I saw there could be an umbilical cord and 2) the u/s picture I have here doens't really look like much, so who knows what the so-called penis really is? But I wish he wouldn't have shown me that shot between the legs, and I wish he hadn't printed out the foot picture!
And he was so anal about telling me anything, aside from pointing out features (so at least I know there are 2 arms, 2 legs, a head, spine, heart, stomach, and bladder). Then he tells me that the baby is breech and that may be an issue for birth. Hello. I'm 22 weeks! Lots of time for the baby to turn still.
Anyway, I guess my midwives will get the report in 48 hours. So hopefully if I don't hear from them by Thursday all is well. My next appointment with them isn't uuntil the end of the month, so I won't hear "official" results until then. I guess I just wanted to hear today that everything looks good and healthy with all the major organs and what-not, and I didn't get that.
Oh well.
I will say, it never ceases to amaze me to see the baby like that. Even with baby number 3, getting an ultrasound is amazing IMO! To see the baby moving and see the face and all that stuff. It was sooo nice =)

Friday, August 12, 2005

A long 9 days ahead ....

My dh is gone. Gone for the next 9 days. He will be in the middle of nowhere. Literally. He is somewhere in Minnesota, near the Canadian border camping with a group of friends. He left with a backpack on his back. That's it. Whatever he could fit in the backpack is what he is using for the next week. He is out of cell phone range.
Let me just say this. I'm glad he has friends who think this kind of trip is fun so he can get it our of his system becuase that is so not sounding fun to me right now! LOL! But I miss him. Tongiht I will have to go to bed to an empty bed :-( I think I will cry. And then tomorrow I will be so excited to have the entire bed all to my pregnant self! LOL!
Aside from that, this has been quite a good week for all of us. I am finally feeling healthy, tired a lot, but healthy =) I gained a few pounds, so all is well there. My dd is flying along with "school" and loving it! The basement is starting to shape up (at least our stuff in the basement is shaping up). Just lots of nice good things happening around here I guess (aside from dh leaving on a major vacation today LOL!). So I guess I'm just feeling really upbeat right now ...
I just hope it can last through next week! Hopefully it will. Sunday I have my ultrasound (just to make sure baby is healthy but NOT to check gender), Monday we have registration for my 5 year old's fine arts classes, Tuesday we are going to play with friends at a children's museum. I'm sure we will go to the pool once or twice, the library once or twice, and hopefully before we know it, it will be next Saturday and dh will be home and we will all have survived the week without anything going wrong or bad! LOL!
So yeah, I'll be here missing my dh and partly enjoying not having to share the bed with anyone!!! Hehehhehe =) And if I should need to be talked off a ledge, I have 2 people who said I can call to talk me off it! Thank goodness for friends ... even if they can't be near to come over, at least I know I have a couple a phone call away, and well, that's kind of a new thing for me so I'm excited =)

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

School time!

Yesterday we officially kicked off our school year. We didn't do anything too special, aside from reading, writing, math and some science! LOL! And so far, my dd is pretty much blowing me away. She is flying through her reading lessons, which is fine with me. She is finally picking up on the concept of sight words and is learning to recognize them. I am beaming with pride over her. Math is going along so-so. We are trying to learn about place value ... she gets the concept but can't translate it into words. I.E. if I give her (with manipulatives) 4 of the hundreds, 2 of the tens and 6 of the units, she knows which are the 100's, the 10's, the units, etc. She can place htem on a place value chart perfectly. But she can't translate it to "Four hundred twenty-six." I think she's never had to "read" a number past 100, so of course it wouldn't be in her mind. I took for granted that she would learn it in 10 minutes though since she is flying through everything else! LOL! She'll get it in time - my guess is by the end of the week after she gets some more practice with it.
But so far, so good. My 2 year old does "school" too while the 5 year old and I work. Basically she colors some pictures and plays games I give her! It's pretty darn cute becuase she is so proud of her work when she gets it done too! Today she helped us count our 100's, 10's and units pieces.
So, after 2 days, everything is going very smoothly =)

On another note, I reconnected with a what I thought was a long lost friend! I am so excited. We talked for quite some time today on the phone, and next week we are going to get together with our kids! I can not wait =) It completely made my day to hear from her. Woo-hoo =)

Overall, it's been a good week so far. I hope the rest goes as well =) Next week we have some busy plans as well, so that week should fly by very quickly. Time is starting to fly by for me. Maybe that's cause I am finally not puking and I feel pretty healthy all of a sudden! Yeah!

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Another weekend ...

coming to an end. I hate when weekends end because then dh has to go back to work. And I like to have him around the house to help out with things.
And I have to say, we had quite the productive weekend. I went through lots and lots of boxes. Recycled lots of papers we don't need anymore, got some things for the supposed garage sale we will have, and reorganized several boxes that when we moved last year were, well, haphazardly packed! We even rearranged the basement area a bit. We got an 8 foot table down here now. The kids computer is on one corner of it, but the rest of the table is mine! All mine! To scrapbook on, to have my own little "desk space," just whatever I want to use it for. I'm so excited! I finally have my very own space down here to do whatever I want to on! Although, if the girls do some bigger craft projects, I will have to share, and I don't mind that at all, but it's so exciting to finally have my own space.
This basement still needs a lot more work, but let me tell you, most of what else needs to be sorted through is not ours. It's the grandparents', or their childrens', and even some of their other grandchildrens' things are down here. Grandma says she wants to go through it all, but she can't go up and down the stairs, so we really have to wait for a day where she has nothing planned and dh had nothing planned. That way he can bring her down her, set her down, and grab boxes for her. I don't think it will actually happen before they leave this year, but hopefully next year. And hopefully by then some of the other people who have things down here will decide to come collect there things ;-)
But yeah, I was a busy little bee this weekend. And my back is sore cuase of it! LOL! Tomorrow I think I will do as little as possible, except maybe enjoy the fruits of my labor =)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

blech ...

Still fighting bronchitis. It is finally getting better, but not gone. And I'm having trouble sleeping with the cough.
Had a midwife appointment today. Baby looks good. I still weigh less than I did when I got pregnant. They are giving me until next appointment (in 4 weeks) to start to gain something. And then they'll ... well i don't know what they'll do at that point LOL! I suppose give me a recommended diet to follow? I didn't ask. I personally would like to gain weight. I weigh less now than I have in several years. I don't want to look anorexic when I give birth to this baby. I don't want to be underweight and tired and just feeling out of energy. I already feel that way now - whether it's from the morning sickness, being pregnant in general, my wieght, whatver, I want it to end. Even my dh says I look to thin to him right now. Blech. I do eat pretty healthy, so that's a good thing. But I feel naseous so often that it's hard to eat much at one time. I certainly eat whenever I feel hungry though and I eat until I'm feel, so it's not like I'm starving myself or refraining from eating. I think once I feel healthy, then I'll start to put on weight. And then I'll probably be upset becuase I'll gain like 15 pounds in one month! LOL!
Aside from being sick and feeling pressured to gain even a few pounds, all here is well and good. Kids are good. Dh is good. Nothing too exciting is coming up, just more enjoying summer becuase fall is right around the corner!