Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Doc's appointment today ...

First of all, this baby is a hider. IT took forever to find the heartbeat and when we did find it, we couldn't keep it for more than a few seconds. I have no idea what baby's heart rate is, but I know it's there, and that's all I care about ROFL!!! This baby is right under my pubic bone. I know the uterus is pretty low, but I guess I didn't realize how low it was! I can't beleive the baby hasn't just fallen out s/he was so low! LOL!!!
I talked to the midwife about my heart rate jumping up after barely any activity. She referred me to a heart doctor. She didn't seem too concerned about it over all though, since my resting heart rate seems fine and normal, but she did want me to have it checked to be safe. So I'm kind of feeling better about it all overall. If she's not freaked out and she's the doctor, no reason for me to be freaked out either I guess! But I won't feel completely relieved until I go see the heart doc and she says it's all okay! LOL!
After the appointment I went to my mom's house and had a yummy dinner with them! It was very nice =)
And that's my day adn now I want to lay down and relax!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Just another Monday ...

Today was just a boring old Monday. We did get out this am. I had to go get my heart rate monitor and my 5 year old had art class. Survived the art class and went to the store. Just as I getting ready to check-out, I got so sick. It was awful :-( I sat in an aisle of Target for a while waiting for it to pass. Then we checked out and I sat in the car with the kids for about 15 minutes. It completely sucked.
The good news is that I got my heart rate monitor. Of course, that means I'm checking my rate often today! LOL! Good news is that my resting heart rate is almost always 83 ... so I have consistency there! Bad news, is that I was trying a bicycle today ... not even on it for 5 minutes, not going that fast and I hit 143. Later my dh's cell phone rang. It was in our bedroom on 2nd floor and he was in the basement. I walked the phone down to him and turned right around ... 146 and almost completely breathless. I can't even imagine why this is happening.
I admit I don't exercise regularly. However, it's not like I've spent the last few years just laying ... I've chased the kids around before, climbed stairs without problems, etc, etc.
I do want to start an exercise program I have just for pregnancy too. So now I'll have to talk about how easily I lose my breath and get tired these days with the midwife. I'm hoping she will let me start the exercise program I have very lightly ... and just monitor my heart rate through it. Maybe starting this program will actually help me get used to activity? I don't know.
Good news is that my appointment is tomorrow. So I will know in less than 24 hours what the midwife thinks of all of this and if she tells me to relax and not worry or if she says let's keep an eye on it for a moment and see what happens over the next few weeks.
I am still taking the unisom when I feel sick (every other night for a week now) and my dh wonders if that is the culprit and if it gets completely out of my system I'll have more endurance so to speak. Well if that is all it takes, I'll go back to not taking the medicines!!!
Anyway, there's my latest anxiety issue. I was really hoping to not have so many anxious moments this pregnancy, but I'm starting on a bad foot in terms of that!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

2 steps forward ...

1 step back ... I've been feeling pretty sick for the last 3 days. Blech. BUt it's not as bad as it was at it's peak, so for that I'm thankful.
Something else is going on. I'm trying not to worry. I don't think I'm worrying. But I am going to keep my eye on it.
I don't know if I mentioned already or not but I've been going numb when laying down ... first it was just a few times in the tummy area when I laid on my left side. Now it's my arms, legs, hands, feet, tummy, no matter how I lay. The good news is that if I just move a bit the tingling stops so that's the good thing. But now my heart rate is going up really high after doing hardly anything. Today I climbed a flight of stairs at the local mall. A few minutes after my heart was going 130 bpm. I felt very out or breath and it wasn't pleasant. It was a flight of stairs .. and it's not like I ran up them (I didn't walk slow either). I can't believe after such a small amount of activity my heart rate went up so high. I've checked my resting rate a few times tonight ... it's about 80, give or take 5 bpm. I think that's a normal resting rate, so I don't know why it's spiking so much after just moderate activity (I don't even know if was considered moderate activity either @@). Ugh. They say that you should go over 140 bpm when pregnant. I don't want to freak out about it either becuase I hate having to worry about every little thing, but I feel like this is my heart ... not something to not worry about.
Good thing I have an appointment with the midwife Tuesday. I know I feel better once I just tell my midwife I've been noticing this! LOL!
Okay ... I'm tired ... it's late. Good night!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I'm back!

This is what, my third post in a week? Wow! I'm impressed with myself.
The good news is that so far I'm still feeling pretty well. No meds on Tuesday night, meds last night and I'm going again for no meds tonight. So far so good ... I hope this means the sickness is coming to an end adn I can't wait! Yeah!
In regards to the pregnancy the number of days between May 19, 2005 and December 12, 2005 is 207 Days = 4968 Hours = 298080 Minutes = 17884800 Seconds. That really isn't that many days! LOL!
Speaking of baby. I found soemthing today I really want for baby. Dh doesn't think we need it, but he said save it and just maybe (woo-hoo! It's the first thing he hasn't said flat out he doesn't want to buy! LOL!)
Elegance Round Baby Bassinet
I think it's so cute. I want the one in sage since we won't be finding baby's sex out. I like it becuase baby will be rooming with us at first and we don't have room for a full crib and we own a pack-n-play with a bassinet in it, but it doesn't really fit in there (it's too long, but not too wide). I think the round bassinet will fit in our room perfectly. Although it is a lot of money for something that can only be used for 20 pounds .... my 2 year old was 20 pounds somewhere around 4 or 5 months! LOL! But I think it's so pretty and I like it and frankly, we don't have much to buy for this baby so I'm kind of ready to splurge on this LOL!!! But it is such a waste! I think we will probably have to get a min-crib that goes past 20 pounds, but the round one is so much prettier I think LOL!!!

Anyway, there is really nothing else to say. Life is pretty boring these days ... just hanging out thinking about a little baby a lot! My other kids are doing well. Hanging out with me most days. My husband is well, but working too much! And aside from that, I'm just excited to be feeling better and really praying my good mood stays up!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Hope I don't jinx myself!

Well, today I'm starting to feel a bit better. I am actually skipping my sleeping pill tonight to see what happens tomorrow. I would love to be able to take the medicine just every other day and then slowly eliminate it all together. I hope so ... it's time. I feel like I've lived in this fog for the past month or so (or however long ago it was tha tI started the sleeping pills). I'm ready to be out of it, and frankly, my kids are ready for me to be out of it! LOL!
We did manage to go shopping yesterday ... which is a first in a long time. I got the kids some "school" things. My 2 year old did her first "school" paper on Sunday to be like her big sister and was so proud of herself! It was pretty cute actually! I will have to save it forever I think LOL!
Last night we also went out for dinner. It was really nice ... actually yesterday was my birthday! So we went out to celebrate. I picked Baker's Square, mainly becuase it was so close LOL! But I had lemon supreme pie for dessert and oh my, did it hit the spot! Yummy! It was a good day, but I was ready for bed so early! LOL! I could hardly stay awake!
But it's nice to have a bit of energy again. And I'm hoping if I can cut back on the sleeping pills I will only get more and more energy to use. And since I'm getting so close to the second trimester, I'm hoping the sickness goes away and my energy comes back! LOL!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

I am still alive ...

Hard to beleive, but it's true.
I am here.
I'm just sleeping a lot and feeling icky a lot. Not to complain, but I'm sick of being sick adn tired of being tired. It is really wearing on me these days, and it's wearing on my family.
I tried to cut back on the sleeping medicines, but I got so awfully sick, I had to go back to taking it every day. I am about 10 weeks now so I am really hoping that means within 2 weeks I will get better.
This pregnancy is just so far out from what my first two were like. I can't really put it into words, but my other pregnancies never felt like this. This pregnancy is borderlining unmanagable for me. I can't explain it any other way. I asked my dh late last week if it was possible to just knock me out until November. This is how I honestly feel. I just want to go away and hide. I hate how I am feeling right now. I hate seeing how my family is not enjoying this either. I hate that my 5 year old told me she wishes I wouldn't be sick anymore. It breaks my heart. It really does :-(
Not only that, but I'm having wierd feelings about this baby. I hate to type them becuase I'm afraid someone will read this and think yep, she's crazy. She's absolutely lost it. Lock her up in a padded room and throw away the key. But anyway, I am having dreams that my baby has down syndrome. Not that it would be the end of the world, please don't get me wrong here. But yet, for some reason the thought absolutely terrifies me. I mean, what is wrong with me to even think this? And what if this "feeling" is correct? What does that mean. I don't know ... I think it's silly for me to even think about it at this point too. I mean really, if I'm wrong, why waste the energy. And if I'm right, it doesn't matter. It can't be changed.
I think I'm just making myself worry becuase this pregnancy is so far out from my other two, that I'm looking for a reason why. I don't think there has to even be a reason why. Maybe my body is just more sensitive this time around? Maybe, as roughly 99% of my family is hoping this is a boy and so it's harder on me? Who really knows? And frankly, who really needs to know?
Blah. I think I just need a vacation! And I think I need to feel better and stop taking the medicine. And I think I need to stop thinking so darn much!
Anyway, I feel better getting it all out. And I'm really not crazy, I swear, just anxious and nervous! LOL!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Stopping back in ....

to say hi and hopefully to try to return to some normal entries around here.
Before I continue, I have a few things I need to admit ...
Well, I kind of snuck some news in without it looking real ... in my Springing Ahead post I said ... "Later on in the day I called me dh at work and told him I was pregnant. He just said "Oh. Okay. We can talk when I get home." And didn't really have much emotion either way ... it kind of took the fun out of telling him that! Oh well .. LOL!!"
Well, the truth of the matter is that I did indeed call my dh at work and tell him I was pregnant, however, it wasn't exactly a joke!
I am due December 12. It was a big SHOCK, and of course just our luck we found out on April Fool's Day! LOL! At first dh didn't have emotions either way (as I stated) but now he walks around proud as a peacock and telling everyone the great news!
I am excited too, but sick. Very sick. Sick in a way that I was not sick with my previous two pregnancies. It has kind of sucked a lot. I did almost end up in the ER to get rehydrated last week. I am taking unisom and Vitamin B6 every night now. It is helping tremendously with the throwing up, however, I'm tired all of the freaking time. It's actually getting annoying. I don't have the energy to do much of anything anymore. But at least I am keeping food down these days. That is a HUGE improvement from where I was last week.
I can even admit that I'm feeling crabby and I'm feeling a bit down. It's hard to feel sick, and tired, and so bloblike and stay cherry all at the same time.
Not to mention, every time I turn around, people are discussing FOOD. Blech, blech, blech. Please, please, don't speak to me about food right now. I'm not ready to deal with it ... unless of course you are talking about fruit popsicles, which are truely heavenly at the moment! LOL!
Anyway, I am on-line about 1/20th of what I was doing before, so I'll probably be a bit spotty for the next month or so ... but I'm hoping once I get past the first trimester that I won't be so sick anymore.
I'm at 8 weeks now ... 4 to go LOL!