Sunday, October 15, 2006

So. Very. Tired.

I'm so tired today!
I had the kids skip church because I was too tired to get dressed, get in the car and sit in church myself ... I thought if I had to sit, I'd surely fall asleep! LOL! Not exactly what I want to do at church ;-)
And yet, I know I should have gone, should have tried to do more to wake up, but yet, I did not.
And now it's almost 1, and I want to take another nap. :X
I need to start sleeping at night ... I've been pulling some late nights lately - partly due to a baby who doesn't have any clue what "decent bedtime" means and partly because I've been staying awake to accomplish some things that I can't get done during the day with the children running around.
I have to figure out how to achieve some balance around here. There are things that I really want to finish (and other things I need to finish) that I just can't manage to do with the kids running around ... for exaple, Halloween costumes ... I'm not done with either of them, and only have one started. Halloween is soon and next weekend we will be gone all weekend. But babyboy doens't really allow me to run the sewing machine when he's awake. If and when he sleeps during the day, I'm doing school with the others ...
And yet, when I look into my crystal ball, I see that there will be a time where I will have the days free to do things - no baby crawling around after me, hanging on my leg, waiting to be picked up - no girls running around, asking me to solve fights for them, read them stories, look at their latest art work, see how high their newest tower is, help put the tricky dress on the barbie, brush the doll's hair ... and that thought saddens me.
I hope before that day comes though, there is a bit more balance around here ... time for them, time for me, time for my dh, time for us all ...

19 comments:

Smoov said...

Your post made me feel all stressed for you! I hate feeling like all I want to do is sleep and there are so many things piled up, waiting for my attention.

Try actually writing a schedule out and then stick to it. It make not work perfectly and you can tweak it along the way, but once everyone is in a routine that doesn't change, life is much more smooth.

Marmee said...

I can sympathize with you...I've been there. I've got video of me at your stage of life, I'm on the bed, watching something, anything, on TV, just to lay down, I'm giving my husband the "get that videocamera out of here or else" look. It does get easier as your kids get old enough to help out. Just hang in there....easier times are coming!

Laura said...

Oh boy can I relate. In fact, I've spent quite a bit of time recently thinking about how I spend my time and how I could spend it better to get more done. I got about two hours of sleep last night due to a baby that thinks nighttime is playtime, regardless of our continual motions to put her to bed over and over.

I just managed to make my first batch of homemade cookies while I did my best to distract the toddler and now she's wandering around the kitchen with the mixer trying to plug it into whatever place she can find that it will "stick" so I should go...

You're not alone in the overwhelmed-too-much-to-do-no-time-for-you area. At least you have some perspective on appreciating the moments that they are young while they are young!

Elle said...

It does get better, I promise! Of course, then it gets worse...and then better...and then worse. (My mother says that's what they REALLY mean by "The Circle of Life.") I have a 24-, a 10-, and a 7-year-old, and miss those baby days, when all it took to make them happy was Mom's lap and an off-key rendition of "The Wheels on the Bus."

I'm a night-owl and get most of my best work done after 10 p.m. I can do that a lot more easily now that the children are more self-sufficient. It was so hard when they were young; I can relate!

Hey, think of it this way -- at least this is the right time of year to go around looking like a ghost...pale, with two burned sockets for eyes!

scribbit said...

I can relate, there are days when I say, "And why did I go to church when I spent the whole time out in the foyer battling a restless toddler?" Someday you'll look back and miss all this . . .at least that's what everyone keeps assuring me.

Tammy said...

Hi, I came through Mel's blog. I can remember those days of exhaustion, still have them occassionally. Is there a young girl near that would like to come help once in a while with the kiddos? I know my 12 yo would, but we are in the PNW, so that isn't too close. I know that once you get in a routine with the littlest one, it should get better.

Granny said...

I came over from Mel's too. It may not get better; it does get different.

I'm a great-grandma raising 10, 11, and 13 year old girls.

I can identify with too tired for anything but a nap.

iportion said...

Can you meet up with another homeschool mom like at your house and each of you trade teaching so the other one can sew or just nap on the couch.

Karen said...

Hi - I came through Mel's blog -- but I know what you're feeling right now -- I'm feeling very out of balance too. But I keep reminding myself it's just for a season. Now I don't know how long this season is going to last, (right now it's been full-time mommy for 23 years) but God does - and I keep reminding myself that he only gives me what I can handle -- the rest is up to Him.

Anonymous said...

Mel sent me here.

I do what Mel says.

I remember those days, like the ones you are experiencing.

They pass. While you are in them, they seem to pass slowly. From the other end, I can tell you that they FLY!

Now I'm a grandma, chosing to be the one who cares for my nine month old grandson when my daughter works.

It's so much fun!

Partly, because I can send him home every night.

But, mostly, because I know it will pass all to quickly.

owlhaven said...

Here from Mel's.

Hang in there!!

Mary, mom to many

Becca said...

Oh, I hear you! People always say it goes too fast, and I know what they mean, but there's part of me that wonders if I will ever sleep through the night again.

Sandy Mc said...

Hi, I came over from Mel's too:) As my day late post can attest to I am right with you in the same deal. Being a glutton for punishment, I have 6 kids ages 3 to 23 so have been in the "swamp" for many years (that's 22 years of Chuck E Cheese), lol!

We have homeschooled since 1989 and...well, my unfinished to do list is always extensive.

For me just this year I learned more about finding balance...because as an older mom I just have decided I MUST invest in some things I enjoy NOW. Balance is different for each of us of course, but just focus on what is really important in your life and work on learning to let the other stuff go. Find at least one outlet for your creativity that relaxes you, and do it without reserve...without GUILT...even if for now it's sleeping and daydreaming about all the great stuff you will do in the future!

Shalee said...

Here from Mel's place.

Believe it or not, as much as you want things to change know so that you can have "you" time, you will look back not even 3 years from now and give most anything to turn back the clock for these very days. It gets much easier, but enjoy this time while you can. Soon enough you'll want it back, sleeplessness and all.

Blessings to you!

Mom Nancy said...

It can be so overwhelming at times, can't it? You'll find a way to get done what NEEDS to get done, and push off the stuff that can wait. We Moms always do!

Have a great day!

Susan said...

Hi, Mel sent me over here.

Hang in there. This season will pass.

Mine are now 22 and 23. When they were little, I thought many times that I'd never feel rested.

Sometimes I used to let them watch a disney movie. I'd lay down on the couch and they sat on me. They thought I was watching - NOT. But since I was a light sleeeper I'd wake if they got off me.

Annie said...

I love it. Someone said they're here because Mel said to come and they do what Mel tells them to. I don't know why, but that makes me laugh. Maybe Mel could come babysit your kiddies and you could go on vacation for 8 hrs. and the kids will do-what-Mel-says!! Fun thought.

Anyway -- you're homeschooling your children? Well, that right there says a great deal about you. And it also explains a great deal about you...in that you'll need to be careful to not expect too much from yourself each day. Educating children at home is a who other ballgame...so work on that scheduling-thing, be super patient with yourself and get more sleep. (This advice from a woman who doesn't get enough sleep. But I DO know it's good advice!)

Nice blog! I'll be back and I hope you'll come visit me sometime. I'm always happy when someone reads my ramblings.

Mariah said...

Hi, Mel sent me, and I do what Mel says too cuz what she says works! That woman knows her stuff! :-) You've had lots of good advice and I don't have anything else to add. Just know that there are lots and lots and lots and lots (and lots and lots) of moms who are/were/will be in the same situation as you and we've lived to tell about it! We're on your side! ~Mariah~

Mary said...

I'm visiting from Mel's site too! Hang in there. I don't have any advise, but I know that our God is good. Sometimes that's all we need to know.