Thursday, December 23, 2004

The day's progress ...

I feel like I have accomplished so much today (but apparently, it wasn't good enough for some people @@ more about that later).

Here's the list I made yesterday, revised to reflect today:

- make 2 aprons
- wrap up 2 aprons (along with the one box of tastefully simple that goes with each apron).
(I've done one)
- wrap up dh's gift for his family exchange
- wrap up my gift for dh's family exchange
- wrap up my gift for my family's exchange
- wrap up 4 presents for Christmas morning
- pack to leave on Christmas day for 3 days
(I'm about 1/4th of the way there!)
- wash all floors
- dust living room
- put out last of Christmas decorations
- move all toys in the living room to basement
- hide everything I don't want anyone else taking
- do all the laundry
(one load to go)
- not go crazy!
(I think I failed this one!)
- clean and sweep basement
- get in fight with dh

I personally think that from looking at my list, you can see that I did quite a lot today.
Ieven did 2 craft projects with the kids.
And my dh came home and asked about probably the only 2 things I didn't do all day. And he was upset they were not done. Neither of which were life threatening NOR were under the Christmas deadline.
He didn't care about all that I had done. He even told me, it wasn't quantity he was concerned with. @@ Yeah right. If I had left it all for him to do tomorrow, I bet he sure as heck would have cared.

I feel like a kid again. And he is filling the role of my mom

from 8th grade:
me: Mom, I got a 92.5 in history!
mom: Oh. Is that all?
Talk about ruining the moment. Since when is an A not good enough? Apparently when it's not an A+

Repeatedly through-out chore age:
me: Done dusting
mom, after walking around the table looking from various hieghts and angles: no, there is a smudge. Do it again.

me: I've cleaned my room
mom: There is one piece of paper on your desk. This room is not clean. Get in there and do it again.

In highschool:
Mom: You're wearing that out? (with a look of shock on her face). You look so frumpy. And it makes you look fat. I don't know why you wear clothes like that.

Once in college:
me: Hey, I finished making the signs you asked me to make.
mom: oh. the numbers are too small. It's okay though, it will have to do I suppose

Just this week:
At her house talking on the phone to someone else.
Mom: who were you talking to?
Me: my aunt.
Mom: Geeze, you sound terrible on the phone. You better watch yourself from now on.

I'm sure you get the picture, but I was never good enough, my grades were never high enough, I was never pretty enough or thin enough or quiet enough or loud enough. Just plain not good enough. And that is precisely how my husband made me feel again tonight. And frankly, if I wanted to feel that way, I would have gone over to my mom's house. I'm so hurt and upset. And he doens't even (seem to) care. He thinks I'm over-emotional. I over-react. This is what he does, and I don't know if he realizes what he does. He takes the discussion and he turns it from what I am trying to talk to him about and changes it to a complaint about me. It makes me feel like he is completely blowing off everything I have just said. And it really upsets me. And I can't even get far enough in a conversation with him to tell him. And now tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I'm pissed off at my husband. This sucks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That does suck. I'm sorry to hear it.