It seems this is the cycle of my life these days ... get past a few days, then start to fall deeper and deeper behind, feel like I'm drowning, and then feel like I've crashed against a brick wall. Which, let me tell you, is not a fun feeling at all.
I don't know ... I keep thinking if I could get babyboy to sleep on a more regular schedule for more than 1.5 to 2 hours at a time.
Last night he woke up 4 times in less than 4 hours. He is almost 11 months old. I'm not asking for a 15 hour stretch each night ... but a 3 or 4 hour stretch, well, would that kill him? Apparently it would!
The 4th time he woke up I literally started crying. Just burst into tears in bed. My dh, a pretty smart guy, then got out of bed, told me to try to go back to sleep, and tried to soothe babyboy. It was successful, but only after some time ... basically when babyboy stood up, he laid him back down, rubbed his back and just let him cry.
Of course, I didn't really fall back asleep. I felt guilty. I HATE letting a baby cry. I just hate it - but even I had to admit, last night it probably wasn't such a bad idea. Because I don't think nursing every 45 minutes when you are 10 months old is such a great habit to encourage. But I still hate that he cried. Probably it took about 30-45 minutes for him to settle down, and he slept for another hour. I suppose an hour is an hour, but I don't know ... I hate making him cry that much just to get only an hour more of sleep.
But dh and I feel torn with what to do. We let him eat a lot during the day - he nurses, he eats solids, he drinks water, he nurses, he nurses a lot, and he eats food. He gets excited to be in his high chair, he eats a bit of food, and then he stops when he is done. So I know at this age, babies can wake a lot as a sign that their food needs have gone up. But, we let him eat - and not just a bite here or a bite there either!
I just keep thinking this too shall pass. But, holy cow batman. I am so tired it's not funny.
Someday, we'll figure out how to get him sleeping through the night I'm sure. And then I won't kow what to do with myself I'll be so rested it won't be funny!
And the gp's are tentatively leaving around the 17th of the month. And then this momma is going to go to the store and buy gates, several gates. And Mr. Babyboy will no longer have free reign of this house. Oh no. He will be kept to a few small rooms. And this momma will sit for a few minutes every now and then.
And Mr. Babyboy will go into a real crib, a real bed to rest his little head on. I am secretly hoping that just putting him ina crib will help him to sleep better. I am sure the pack n play is not very comfortable and maybe a crib will be the trick to keep him comfy and sleeping longer! I surely can wish, can't I?
In other, non-babyboy related news, I have not yet mentioned any houses that I have been looking at and have fallen in love with over the internet. House hunting, that was supposed to begin November 1, is being put on hold. The gp's are talking about staying in Florida through Spring of 2008. I am not sure that they will actually stay down there, so I hate to not house search should they change their mine in May and give us about 7 days notice they are coming home. Yet, at the same time, baring any major interest rate rises, being able to be mortgage free for another 12-18 months, well, that isn't necessarily a bad thing either. So dh and I are feeling torn. I talked to granny about it the other day. She said she didn't think grandpa would make it down there through the summer, but maybe they would. She also understood that we needed more space and commented how well we were doing with the small room we currently had. So I think she at least understands our dilema with all of this. Now, we need grandpa to understand how we are feeling and we need them to make a decision and tell us that decision so we can figure out what to do.
Also, tomorrow I have the meeting regarding my 4 year old and what their evaluations show. I'm a bit nervous about it all to be honest. On one hand I want them to say we will give her speech, ot and pt, but on the other hand, I want to also hear, she is wonderful and bright and smart and no problems - go on about life skipping along! But we will see tomorrow what will happen and what they say.
Okay, enough babbling for now, and I'm pretty sure babyboy just fell asleep so off to bed I should go!