Friday, November 03, 2006

Meeting update ...

Today was the big meeting regarding my dd.

I did not walk away very happy about it. I also have to say I walked away in a state of shock!

They said M scored amazingly high on everything - all the tests she was well above average. On the IQ test she scored in the above average - she was beyond 130. Okay, I'm one of those "my children are so smart" moms. But I never would have guessed she was beyond normal smart, if that makes sense. They must have thought I was an idiot because I asked if they were sure it was really that score. I wasn't prepared to hear that at all. Seriously my child is apparently some super-genius according to her IQ score test. Wow. That's all I can say. Well, she didn't get it from me for sure!

Then they told us that there is an obvious learning disability going on. They could not get more specific than that - no specific name for it. And despite them knowing there was a learning disability going on, because her IQ tested so high, they can NOT qualify her for any services or therapy or help.

Please, someone explain to me ... how the heck can they tell me there is a learning disability with my dd, but then turn around and tell me they can't help her?
Because in IL you have to show a 30% delay to qualify, and with an IQ like M's obviously there is no delay. That is the reason they gave me. I'm sorry, but I think that is just wrong. A child should get help no matter what. Ugh. This is so frustrating to me. If there is a problem, let's help her. Let's start now. They all agreed that she is having difficulty with some basic skills that they believe the learning disability is the cause of and could be in a much different place right now were she not contending with this.
On the other hand, all her skills come out average for her age - the issue is that they beleive the skill should be higher. There is a gap in what she showed them she is capable of and what she was actually doing. Well I don't care if she is average today. I want her to be where she should be for her. I would like my dd to have the skills to reach her full potential! Well, really, what parent doesn't want that?

So I asked, okay, you can't put her in your program but what can I be doing at home to help her out? I thought I might get an idea or two. Nope. Nothing. They don't give out home programs, but for 175 a month I could enroll her in the preschool anyway and then they'd be willing to work with us. The last 10 minutes of the meeting felt like a commercial to get me to sign her up for the pay preschool program there.
I tell you what. I do not feel happy with what happened today. IMO, if there is a learning disability they should help - no matter what baseline IQ is. She is still struggling to learn and is not at this point in time able to reach her full potential. I think this whole numbers game of 30% delay is crap.
I am so disappointed with the school, but I do recognize it's a state law and they are following it, but it still upsets me.
So we know there is an issue, but the school will not accept her - unless I put her in the pay preschool, which of course is open to anyone out there. So today I am going to make some calls to other people and try to figure out if I want to a) do private therapy with M b) put her in preschool in general c) put her in there preschool program d) just try to get her set up in a home program where I work with her or some combo.

I guess the issue is that I see her getting frustrated when she can't do things. I see her wanting to do more than what she can. I see her getting upset when she struggles with stuff. And I see her giving up to avoid that frustration. I don't care if she is the smartest 4 year old in the world or an average 4 year old, I wouldn't even care if she was well below average for her age, if she was working at a place that was right for her. I want to see her reach her full potential, I want to see her happier with things. Really, I don't even care too much about the IQ test (okay, I have to admit it did feel kind of nice to hear those nice numbers) but let's be real here - in the real world, her IQ score isn't going to matter at all - her ability to interact with people, to learn new things, to be able to put what she learns into practice - that is what is going to matter. When she goes to get a job as an adult, they won't ask her IQ score, they will ask things like How do you handle stress? What area do you excell at? Struggle with? When she goes to play with other kids, no one is going to ask her IQ score. They are going to see how she talks with them, shares with them, can play games with them. Let's face it, IQ score don't count for much other than maybe some bragging rights for me and dh for a few weeks and well, maybe she'll want to join MENSA one day. Aside from that, it's a number on a paper. And if she struggles to learn, it doens't matter what her potential could be .... if she can't figure out how to learn things, her potential won't be reached. And that seems so sad to me.

Anyway, I still feel like my head is spinning with all that they told me. If you made it this far thanks for reading

1 comment:

Mel said...

Brandie,

At least she is at home with you--you care about her progress more than anyone. You'll be able to help her. I'm confident of that!