So, we bought this house. This great house. This house I love. And I'm so excited.
And now reality sets in.
First, let's go back to the house buying process. Dh and I had set a limit on what we were willing to pay. It was x amount of dollars. Then we looked at homes. We decided to bump it up a mere 10,000 dollars (which was saying a lot as the first amount we set was pretty much the top of what we could afford). Locking in a pretty darn good rate helped us feel better about that decision.
Then we found this house. And we went for it. Except it was 10,000 more than the second limit we set, which means 20,000 more than the original plan. Which also meant we no longer had 20% to put down, which meant more money being spent on the mortgage.
And now we own this house, that is 20,000 more than what we planned on owning. And now we have 2 mortgages (in an effort to avoid PMI)
So now we have a house and 2 mortgages. 2 mortgage payments, when combined, are larger than what we had budgeted for when we began house shopping.
To top it off, I assumed my dh would get a raise this year, and that would help un-tighten our financial picture. His bosses recently came to him and said there will be no raises this year.
No raise? Two mortgages? My heart is racing I tell you, pounding and ready to jump out of my chest and explode.
My dh keeps telling me not to worry that we will be okay.
But how can I not worry? We have 3 kids. They happen to enjoy being fed and clothed and have become used to living in a house. We will be fine with all the monthly expenses. But should something happen - a major medical issue, my dh not being able to work, a big expense not in the budget, we will hit some rough waters. And that thought terrifies me.
I have come to the conclusion that I need to earn some income through all of this. Except, really, how can I do that? My dh works very unpredictable hours - I'd need a sitter to work most times. And with three kids, the sitter would probably make more every hour than I would. I could theoretically try to do something from home. But really, what does that leave me? Babysitting. Well, yeah I suppose I could do that, but how do I find someone to watch and a family that trusts me to take care of their children. Dh is encouraging me to try embroidery out. That scares me because what if I mess things up. Right now I enjoy my crafts because they are for me, not for others. Would taking money to do that ruin my enjoyment of them? I don't know.
I have a lot to think about. And I have a lot of worry I need to try to oppress.
I'm still excited about my house and can't wait to actually live there, but I'm also terrified about this whole thing and how it will work out.