Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Kind of bummed ...

Today my dad came to visit me. This is the first time he has been here since I moved here. I moved here in August.
My parents don't live a plane ride away. They live a 45 minute drive away. Maybe 60-90 minutes if traffic is terrible. But it's 45 minutes away. It has taken half a year for my dad to drive out here to where I live.
My mom couldn't come with because she was too busy with work. So she said. While my dad was here, he called her on the nextel phones. He asked her what she was doing. She was visiting her sister. Her sister that is about, oh 30-45 minutes away from her house.
So she couldn't come here because she was busy, but she could go see her sister. I'm pretty sure she visits with her sis on a regular basis. And I think it's great becuase they need each other, especially after losing both parents last fall. But seriously, couldn't she have missed one visit with her to come see me? To come and see her grandchildren? I'm kind of pissed off. And I'm kind of hurt. Seriously, we drive over by them lots of times. She calls us and tells us how much she misses us all, and how much she misses her grandkids, blah, blah, blah. And yet, she didn't come today. She might come next week. Maybe on Tuesday, if it fits into her schedule.
Well, I would think if we were that important, it she would make it fit. I hate to complain. But she has been there for her sisters, for her brothers, for everyone else. Maybe it's easy for her to just push us to the side becuase we will always be there. I hate to say it, but if she can't make an effort to come here, I will be less likely to want to make the trip down to her, if that makes sense at all.

I'm just bummed all around. I wanted my kids to grow up loving all their grandparents and being close to them and having all sorts of memories. And I feel like they don't get that. One set lives half-way across the country! I wish they lived closer. We fly there when we can, they fly here when they can, and there are lots of phone calls/letters in between. We are both trying to make sure that they can still have a close relationship with the kids. My parents were very close, when we lived 15 minutes from them. But apparently, once we crossed the 20 minute mark, it was too hard to come see us @@ And the other set, now lives 5 minutes from us. When we lived far apart, they told us it was too hard to see us becuase we lived 45 minutes away. And yet, since we moved 5 minutes (and even less if I hit a green light!) they have been here maybe 5 times? I think that's a stretch. And one of those times was the family Christmas party WE hosted. We try to invite them places. My 5 year old even kept asking them to come play with her. And yet, they are busy. They have work. They aren't EVER available. And to top it all off, the grandma repeatedly blames ME! She says I keep the kids from her! That I'm pushing them out of our children's lives! I don't get it. I am not doing that! We try to get them to come visit. My dh has been to there house lots of times since we moved close. Heck, we would drive up here when we lived far away to see them! I even once told the grandma, if she ever wanted to have lunch to call and we would drive her! I was coming up here regularly to visit other relatives. I told her the day of the week I was coming and asked if she ever wanted us (the kids and I) to come visit her to tell us. But that day didn't work. I told her to tell me a day that did work and I would come then, but no days worked for her. In the fall, they invited us to go somewhere with them. We were excited, the kids were excited. And literally 2 days before, they both backed out because of work and told us to use the tickets without them! I can't win. And yet, she still tells me all the time it's my fault she doens't see the grandchildren. And I hear how distraught they are that they don't see them. Well then pick up the damn phone and call them. Get in your car ... hell, you don't even need a car - DRIVE over here and see them. When we invite you over, come! When we invite you out to dinner, come! If you see something you think the kids would enjoy doing, call us and invite us. I'm so tired of hearing it's all my fault. That my mom or the other set of grandparents are so sad and miss seeing their grandkids so much when IMO they aren't making an effort to see them or spend time with them.
Grrrr ..... I'm really pissed off now!!! I think I need to take a break and go breath! LOL

1 comment:

Tina said...


Not much I can say...wish there was a great solution...