Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Not skipping today ....

Today I stumbled and fell. It kind of sucks when it happens, but hey, you know, I just have to roll with the punches I guess.
Tomorrow I agreed to babysit the neighbor's children in the am and totally forgot until she reminded me tonight! Yikes! What was I thinking?!?! That was a silly mistake on my part. Good thing I was reminded tonight and not tomorrow am when the doorbell was ringing calling me out of bed! LOL!
Finished 2 books now in 2 days! That's good as I haven't read in forever! So I'm glad to have finished something finally!
I discovered something is definitely wrong with me today. Grrr ... I hate figuring that out, but I guess in the long run you have to acknowledge it or you can't change it. Anyway, we were watching tv and a commercial came on for weight loss. And all I could think was the lady they had picked wasn't really that skinny and wouldn't they want someone else to be their spokesperson? Then of course it flashes on the screen that she is like 120 pounds, size 2. WTF is wrong with me to think that that is chubby? I seriously would have put her at 160! I'm not even kidding. This is awful. This means I have no freaking clue as to what is a healthy weight and what isn't.
And I swear, I am not judgemental of people I actually know IRL. I've never thought that about a friend. But I think it all the time about people on the TV or in magazines, or myself. What is wrong with me? Someone please come smack me. Tell me that I'm all screwed up and it's wrong to feel that way. I guess the onyl good thing is that I'm not actively starving myself or suffering from any eating disorders ... althouhg ironically enough I eat crap and probably eat too much, which seems surprising but I suppose if you look at the big picture it really isn't but another symptom of the underlying issue that is also causing these thoughts of unrealistic body image.
Anyway ... I should go to bed ... I need ot be awake and alive to deal with the extra kiddies tomorrow! And tomorrow is also my dh's birthday so we are going out for dinner and I want to be awake and happy for him! =)

1 comment:

Sheri said...

How the baby sitting gig go? And did you go out to dinner? I want to go out to dinner...(dreaming of the days I could call up my parents and ask them to watch the kids for a few hours)...