I'm not fat but ...

I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny.
I'm not fat, but I could tone up a few areas.
I'm not fat, but I have a little bit of a belly - both from food and from my 3 kids!
I'm not fat, but I have curves.
I'm not fat, but I have a larger chest area.
I'm not fat, but I often feel like crap about my body.
I'm not fat, but I secretly think that I am.

Why? Why, is it, that I can cognitively be aware of the fact that I am not fat, but yet I hate my body? Hate my curves? Hate my hips widened by pregnancy? Hate shopping for new clohtes? Get frustrated after walking out of yet another store without one thing that looks good on me? Feel like it's all my fault?

Well, I have decided (and was talking with a friend about this which is why I bring it up now) the problem is not me. The problem is the clothes manufactures. Woman's clothing is a joke. A size 6 in one store is an 8 in another, a 4 in another, and 10 in yet another. In one store, I can wear a size one size in their jeans, another size in skirts, and yet another size for shorts. Seriously, what is up with that?
I am in my 20's. I do not want to dress like a teenager, but neither do I want to dress like my mother. I have boobs. Decent sized ones at that - I don't do well in strapless bras, I can't wear the shirts with built in shelf bras, and they don't make bras in my size with tiny cute little straps easiy hidden. Yet, so many shirts out there are designed to be worn that way. And if I get a top with a large enough bust area, it hangs on my waist and makes me look bigger in the tummy. If I buy a shirt that fits my tummy area nicely, it's stretched across my chest, not giving me a look I particularly enjoy.
I don't want my shirts up to my neck, but I don't my boobs hanging out either.

Clothes shopping is frustrating for me. But I won't blame me anymore. It's not my body that is the problem. It is the lack of regulated sizes of clothing, it is the lack of manufacters thinking that all woman must be 5'8", 115 pounds, and a 32B. That is not me, and there is nothing wrong with me for being different.

Anyway, that is my latest realization. And I wanted to share ;-)