Sunday, August 06, 2006

Things going on here ...

Lots of things going on here lately.
First, dh's company is 90% sure they will be relocating to a place just 15 minutes away from where we lived 2 years ago. So that will increase my dh's commute when it happens. Not by too terribly much - it will probably jump from 20 to 40 minutes. We can live with it. But if we stay here (as opposed to picking up and moving across country) we will probably want to move closer to over there.
Second, dh told me he is going to put his business on the market when the season ends in November this year. This thrills me to no end because it takes too much of my dh's time, it causes him stress, and life has changed dramatically since we started the business a few short years ago. Along with this he will step down in a role he performs for my parents business, which also thrills me and again gives us more time as a family. He will still help them out, but just not in the capacity he currently does.
The background on all of this is that dh grew up with a workaholic father. He worked a lot and a lot. My parents had periods where they did nothing but work, but then had times where they didn't have to work so much, but at that point, well, hanging out with me was not what they wanted - and as these periods really started happening close my teen years - well, I didn't want to hang out with them either! LOL!
Dh vowed he would not spend his children's childhoods working away and not really knowing them, and I decided I wouldn't wait to get to know my children until they hit the point in life when they didn't want me to get to know them. I also always dreamed of staying home, but my dh working a 9-5 job and being home in the evenings and weekends and having all this glorious family time to spend. Then came reality. We started out with our first child young and broke. I was still going to college and dh was working his butt off to provide money for us. I worked part time when possible to help get bills paid. At that point dh had his full-time job and seasonal job for my parents (which is mostly every weekend in September and October with about 10-15 days of work sprinkled through out the summer). It wasn't that bad - we still had time together and when he was away I was doing college work and taking care of baby and blah blah blah.
Then we bought our first house - my "baby" was now about 18 months when we did it. Although we didn't buy a very expensive house - it was expensive for us. Our house actually was borderline condemnable when we bought it - we could not get the permit to occupy until we had completed 2 weeks of work (which including an entirely new electrical system, new flooring over 80% of the house, taking some parts down to the studs, re dry-walling those parts and then scrubbing and repainting every wall, new plumbing work, sealing leaks in the foundation, etc - which we were blessed to have friends - both who were professionals in terms of all this work and then just those good friends who came and helped. We did it all in 2 weeks and moved in. How I remember those days - we paid all the bills and at the end of hte month had about 20-50 dollars left in the account! But we were happy - I was still going to school, dh was working hard, we were so into our little girl. Then came dd number 2. She was born adn I still had one semester left in college (so still paying hte babysitter), dh had had a few raises, but we still were living on a pretty tight budget, and we were welcoming another member to our family. So things rolled along and dh decided there had to be a way to generate more money and so he started a business! And the business made money. At first was a simple business and didn't take up too much time, but ti was a good business. So after one year we tripled the business. Which took up more time. Dh couldnt' do it alone, so he hired a few employees. Now we are 3 years later and the business could grow even more, but dh has niether the time nor the desire to do it. He has recieved more raises at full time job, so money isn't so tight, we are about $3000 dollars away from being completely debt free and so there is no need for my dh to work 1 full time job, 1 part time job, and 1 seasonal job each and every year. You add up all those jobs and it means he is almost always working, almost always stressed, and almost always busy. We hardly get time together the two of us. He hardly gets time with the kids. He's stressed and tired. I'm stressed and tired, and it's just not worth it anymore. We want more than that.
So, the business will be sold (and it has already broke even so anything we sell it for will be pure profit for us! Yeah!) and he will lessen what he does for my parents.
So yeah, that is where things stand now.
So just think - one year from now things will be so different. We will not be in this house anymore and there is a possibility we will not even be in this state anymore! My dh will no longer own a business. He won't have to work more than a few weekends a year for my parents, we will be the parents of a 1 year old, 4 year old, 7 year old! All three of them will be running around and ready to have fun and we will have a husband and a father around more often to hang out with and spend time with. And though I know life won't be perfect, it will be a lot better in a space of our own with the time to actually spend time together!

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