Wednesday, August 23, 2006

There is hope ...

So reading other blogs - which I like to do often - and came across Rocks in My Dryer and over there she's talking about sleep issues and insomnia.
So I read - 1) because I like to read her blog and 2)I have trouble falling asleep at night - I toss and turn, no matter how tired I feel, I just can't fall asleep. Now, I have been complaining about being tired lately due to baby being around - but this is not a problem that is just around when I have a baby. Oh no, I have been fighting it forever as far as I am concerned.
Now, I have anxiety issues - which I think I have actually mentioned before, and I always thought the anxiety was why I couldn't fall asleep - all those racing thoughts running through my head, that I just can't turn off my mind - even when I'm soooo tired it hurts, etc, etc.
But I've been working on the anxiety (thanks to therapist T) and it's getting better - not 100% where I want to be, but a lot better than where I was 2 years ago (when I honestly felt like I was on the verge of completely losing it and snapping because I was borderline to the point where I wanted to hide away forever and stop functioning in the world as it was too overwhelming which was easy to do with the internet because I only had to type what I wanted and no one could look at me and be wiser when I put on my facade ....
Okay, so where was I? Oh yes, the anxiety is getting better. But the sleep issue is not getting better. Even on the nights when my dh will take baby to let me sleep, I have a hard time falling asleep. Which just is wrong.
So, yes, over at Rocks in my Dryer when I see her mention Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome. And I'm thinking at first delayed what? So I click and it sounds interesting. So I google DSPS to find out more. And the more I'm reading the more I'm thinking oh my gosh! that is sooooo me! that is exactly how I feel. Holy cow. How could I have not heard of this before.
So dh gets home and I practically run him over at the door - YOU HAVE TO READ THIS RIGHT NOW AND DON'T YOU THINK THAT IT TOTALLY DESCRIBES ME AND READ IT NOW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!! Oh, yeah, hi dear, welcome home - READ THIS!
So he reads it. And he agrees. That it sounds like me practically perfectly.
And so now I feel like there is hope. What if this is in fact why I can't fall asleep at night and I toss and turn and turn and toss and never feel rested and feel kind of blah most of the time because I NEVER GET ENOUGH SLEEP.
I can't even believe it.
Dh and I are going to look into this more. We are going to figure out where to go from here, what to do about it. And hoping that babyboy starts to sleep through the night soon because once he sleeps through the night, then I'm going to be working on getting myself to sleep through the night!

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