That about sums it up right now.
I want my dh home and I want him home right now.
Some family stuff is going on. And I just don't want to deal with it. However, by not dealing with it, things will probably get really worse and I'm not exactly sure how to deal with it. If I ever needed him home to talk to, to see what he sees in all of this, to get his reaction - it's now. And he is in the middle of freaking nowhere - no cell phone connection, no way to contact him or talk to him.
And this sucks.
And I'm so sad and lonely and mad and upset and confused and hurt and angry and yet I want to help, I want to make things better and I don't know how. And I'm not sure if it's even worth it to start now. Part of me is just thinking it will be like this forever, no matter what I try to do to fix it, so why even bother? But it's eating me up and it's killing me and I think it is a problem that needs to be dealt with. In fact, I've only been saying for about 5 years it should be dealt with. But hey, what do I know? I was told to let it go, it will get better eventually - if I'm just patient, or even if we said something it would fall on deaf ears so why bother.
I'll tell you why we should bother - because it's a problem for me. Even if it's not a problem for some others, aren't I important as well? Aren't my feelings equally valid? And based on what other comments I have been told lately, it's a problem on the other side of the fence, even though they haven't brought it up either @@
All that aside, I have a family member in trouble. Who has been in trouble for quite awhile. Who, although not out of high school, is in jail for the second time this year. And he needs your prayers and your thoughts. And his family needs your thoughts and prayers. I don't think this is easy for anyone right now. Because it feels like a big mess right now and I know there are quite a few people (myself included) who aren't sure what to think or sure how to react or what we should do, etc, etc. So please send out some prayers for J and the family. Thanks all
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1 comment:
Maybe God has dh on a trip where you can't even talk to him for a reason. Maybe he's trying to show you how strong you are or just trying to get you to work through this one with Him. Lean not on your own understanding. Trust God! He knows what He's doing...even if we don't.
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