Sunday, July 08, 2007

Dreams and dreams ...

Yesterday evening my body just quit on me. I am not surprised thinking about it now, but it did catch me off guard last night. I felt sick in my head, sick to my stomach and so exhausted. I really think that my body was so tired from all the recent insomnia it just shut down to force me into sleep. And sleep I did. For about, oh, 12 hours. Then I was up for a few hours, and then, back down for another 1 or 2 ... it's all sort of hazy truly. Either way, it felt glorious to get sleep again. And I'm still feeling tired so I hope tonight will bring another insomnia free night. I would also like to add that my dh rocks. Because he let me sleep. He told me he knew I needed it. And really, how awesome is that? He could have been mad. He could have woken me up. He could have let me sleep in and then rubbed it in my face for the rest of the day. But nope, he didn't. And it's only one of the reasons I love him so much!
Anyway, during my nap this afternoon I had a dream that I was tired and sleeping so much (like I had been last night/this morning) and in my dream my family had to call 9-1-1 and when we got to the hospital we discovered I had a heart problem that was causing everything. I kind of woke up and wondered if maybe I should go visit my doctor tomorrow. And when they ask me why I'm there, how crazy would I look if I said "I dreamed I had a heart problem!" My dh told me probably I shouldn't go in tomorrow, but should this being all tired all the time keeps up for a few more days, he might think I should go in and mention the tiredness.

Anyway, that was a sleeping dream, but today I had an awake dream ... I have decided that it would be pure heaven to send the kids out of the house for one week. That's all I want - 7 days of no children here. There is so much organizing I want to get done, so much sewing and knitting. And really, I just want a break from being mommy for a few days. I don't think that's a bad thing, but I know somewhere, some woman is shaking her head at this very idea and I don't measure up to her standard of a good mom. But, the truth is that I do need a break. Realistically, I don't send them to school or day care. I am with them a lot. And sometimes when we get a lot of something we need a break - even if we love those someones a whole whole lot! Of course the reality of it is about the only people I could theoretically send them away for a week too, live VERY far away - 24 hour drive or a plane trip out there. And really, I don't have the money to fly all the kids out there then fly myself home to get it all done and then fly back get them, and fly us all home. And to drive 24 hours to turn around, well, that doesn't make much sense either. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure those I am thinking of are out of vacation time right now, or at least don't have a week of it to watch my darlings.
:::sigh::: Maybe this wintertime, when my parents have a break from work and live all of 15-20 minutes away could take them for a few days. That would be nice ... even if it is 6 months away LOL!!

1 comment:

Smoov said...

Girl.....stop worrying about what some other mommy might think. Of course you need a break from them, they are kids who make demands on you all day long. That would drive any sane person crazy eventually!

Maybe you can fly some trusting person to you and have them stay there and play Mary Poppins? Take the kids out and about while you stay home?

I am lookig forward to the time when my boys are old enough to go to the sleep away camp my daughter goes to. My husband and I are so going to New Zealand alone when that time comes!