Thank you so much for good thoughts yesterday and some kind words.
When I wrote last night, things still had that raw feeling to them. Dh went to bed feeling defeated - and he is not typically a person who feels that way. I stayed up to write and was also feeling very defeated.
After writing and then laying on the couch to veg in front of the TV, a few good ideas did come to me as to how I can help earn a bit of income for my family - because even if it was just a bit here and there, we are at a point where every thing helps.
So I began to write an e-mail to my then slumbering husband to read at work today. As I typed that letter more ideas came to me. Each one was small, but when put together it could start to make an impact.
Today I sat down with my girls and I told them that things were tight and we will be making changes around here. We talked about no more fast food, how birthdays and Christmas would be smaller this year, we talked about spending our money wisely, we even talked about how we might have to cancel the cable (which would be big for them since 90% of their tv viewing is disney channel).
I am proud to say my girls said okay to everything I talked about. They asked what they could do to help us. My 7 year old offered to have a lemonade stand and to share money with the family. I was blown away by how they didn't get upset or sad but merely said okay and wanted a plan! (And slightly embarrassed that I didn't react more like them last night but only a little bit and of course I didn't give them the complete doomsday report either LOL!)
So we talked about the ways they could help us - by remembering to turn off lights and not waste water and to not let clean clothes get into the laundry pile because even if we did all that and saved 10 dollars a month on the electric bill that would be very nice.
I feel better today for several reasons -
1. I've had a decent night's rest. Life will go on, even if we have to make changes. Really, we will still have food, shelter clothing and I am SO grateful we don't have to worry about any of that. I mean compared to the rest of the world, that makes us so extremely lucky.
2. As I mentioned a few days ago, I really feel there are a lot of positive things going on my life right now - in my family's life. How quickly I forgot that for a while last night. But I remembered and maybe this is just a part of the bigger picture of all that is going on right now. Maybe in 10 years I will look back and laugh about how sad I was last night and how it turned out to be one of the best things to happen to us. I mean really, how great would that be? And even if it doesn't turn out to be one of the best things, it doesn't mean we can't survive. Perspective. I have to keep some perspective here (which also applies to point 1 because perspective will show that I am still luckier than most).
3. I have faith. I do believe there is a God up there who loves me and cares about me. I do believe that things will be okay. We might not be millionaires, but we can still be happy and do lots of great things in this world. And maybe God has a plan that I am not privy to yet, but it might turn out to be better than I can even imagine at this moment.
4. I have lots of good friends who will be there for me!
For instance, Kris, when you said
Dear Hubby and I went thru a similar time back when I was pregnant with our son. We had to sell our home to stay 'above water'. It was such a hard thing to do, such a difficult time in our lives, but we survived and we look back on it now as a time of very valuable Life Lessons that we learned because of it. We were around 25/26 at the time. It's not the end of the world. As you say, a house is a house. HOME is wherever you are together as a family. I will certainly pray the Lord gives you peace in all this. Just remember, this too shall pass. You won't be stuck in this Valley forever.
I remember you talking about times you've been down and things have worked out. I'm so glad you are there to share these things with me. Because I can take comfort that one, I'm not the first (and I know I won't be the last person) with these struggles. And two, you made it through it all and if going through it will make as wonderful a person as you, then it's worth it! =)
And Ornery's Wife,
A new "lurker" here, and I have enjoyed reading your blog. As a fellow believer, I urge you to remember the following things about our Father
Thank you for your reminder of those things. You are right! And stop lurking! LOL! Comment more often =)
And Sallie, thank you too!
We wanted to pay off our debt before we bought a house so we used this calculator to give us an idea of what to do. It was helpful for usWhat a wonderful feeling to be debt free! I hope I'm there with you soon LOL!!
Dh and I haven't had a chance to talk much today, but we did share a few words. He has a plan. He is running a side business. We have personally loaned the business most of the money it is using to run. The business runs from about April-November. He will aggressively try to market it in order to sell it, or come April he will liquidate the business and pay us back as much as we loaned as possible. He is set on doing this. I am feeling torn.
On one hand - doing that will give us some savings and might be enough to pay off our second mortgage. Although it really is a small payment each month, that would be one less payment to make each month. Also I will get him back over the summer. The business gives us a bit of income each year and gives us some tax write-offs (all legally I might add) but I'm not sure the money is equal to the time dh puts into it. And truthfully I have been ready for him to sell it for about a year now!
But I feel sad for him. He worked so hard to get this business going. He has put so much time, money and energy into it. I am so proud of what he has accomplished. He started this business when we were in a similar position - we needed more money to survive and so he did this to get us another income. And I appreciate it so much. And he has so much time and energy invested into it. I'll be sad that he has to lose that.
But this makes me love and appreciate my husband even more. Because I woke up ready to move. Don't get me wrong, I was sad about it - but I'll do it if I need to, you know? But my guy, my great guy, decided to give up his little business instead of moving the whole family. And I know it was hard for him to decide to do that, but I appreciate it. And I know our kids will appreciate it as well.
Anyway, on top of all of that, something else very exciting happened today. Something that only helped me to remember that there is a plan out there. That things will be okay. And I'm actually happy and excited about it.
No matter what happens, I am going to work hard to keep my attitude in check. Things will happen. Afterall, we are human. Things happen - both good and bad. This is just another part of our journey through life!
Edited to add:
After I posted this, I read this over at Shalee's Diner. Yes. I needed that read today! And you should read it too! =)