Last night ..

I cried. I just cried. For so many reasons.
I cried because life is tough (I know, nice that after 28 years this still gets to me)
I cried because I feel bad for my Little M
I cried because I was afraid this new diet wouldn't help her.
I cried because I was afraid this new diet would help her.
I cried because dh works too much and I miss him a lot.
I cried because my dd A is kind of a brat and I don't know how to change it.
I cried because I yell at my son too much.
I cried because I yell at all my kids so much.
I cried because right now it feels like I'm stuck in a tornado - just spinning around and around and around but I can't control which direction the tornado turns and I'm just waiting for it to spit me out so that I can brush it off and move on with life the way I want to go.
I cried because I feel so inadequate as a wife and mother.
I cried because my dh tells me that I am a fabulous mother.
I cried because my dh doesn't understand all that goes on inside this head of mine.
I cried because there is just too much going on and it feels like I've lost control.
I cried because I don't know how to behave when I can't control everything.
I cried because it's impossible to control everything.
I cried because frankly, that sucks.
I cried because I'm afraid that things will never get better.
I cried because I'm afraid I will never get better.

And today another day rolls on and that tornado just keeps spinning me around ...