Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I think I might be sick ...

Dh and I went over the budget tonight. I mean we really went over it and dissected it and crunched numbers.
It is not a pretty picture at all. In fact, things look positively awful. Something has to give soon or else.
I am so terribly upset and sad right now I can't believe it.

And I feel pretty damn stupid for not seeing what was coming sooner - as in before we decided to buy a house. Really, someone needs to come in here and ask me what the hell we were thinking when we did this. And why, please tell me why, were we approved for this loan? Actually, we were proved for a much larger loan - really? I can't even imagine right now what we would have done with an even larger loan.

Anyway, all that aside. I'm kind of pretty sure that we might have to in fact sell this house and move. Which leaves me so torn. I know, I know, it's just a house. We can't take it with us. But I love my house and I love my neighborhood, and the kids are so happy here and when we bought the house I was just filled with a feeling that was the house for us.

Ugh. I guess the good news in all of this is we are figuring all of this out before things got really bad (as in lots of debt or losing the house or whatever). The good news is that a house is a house - as long as my family is in it we can make it through. We theoretically could stay in this house. However, to do it without going further into debt each month, we would have to: cancel our cable, cancel the landline, spend nothing on entertainment, hobbies or fun. We'd have to drive my van as little as possible (essentially pretend we only had one vehicle except for very important things), we'd have to become VERY good bargain shoppers and pretty much not save money at all each month. So basically, we'd have this great house but nothing else. Well, frankly, if that is what it takes to stay here, I don't want to stay here. I want to have fun in my life. I want my kids to have fun. I'm not saying I want to vacation in Europe twice a year, but people, I need some money to spend on fun, not needed items.

Of course, as my hubby told me tonight, we can't make any rash decisions. We need to really take a week and make sure we have all the info we need to make any decisions at all. He also said to give him a few days to make a plan. Okay. Unless he has a secret stash somewhere, well, I'm not sure what sort of plan he might come up with! LOL!

Anyway, we are walking a tough path here for a while. I know, I just know it will all work out. I also know that it won't be easy.


MissKris said...

I've been hearing on the news how horrible the home loan/banking market is because of foreclosures and how it's affecting so many of the people who've bought homes in the past few years. My heart goes out to you, Brandie. Dear Hubby and I went thru a similar time back when I was pregnant with our son. We had to sell our home to stay 'above water'. It was such a hard thing to do, such a difficult time in our lives, but we survived and we look back on it now as a time of very valuable Life Lessons that we learned because of it. We were around 25/26 at the time. It's not the end of the world. As you say, a house is a house. HOME is wherever you are together as a family. I will certainly pray the Lord gives you peace in all this. Just remember, this too shall pass. You won't be stuck in this Valley forever.

ornery's wife said...

Hi. A new "lurker" here, and I have enjoyed reading your blog. As a fellow believer, I urge you to remember the following things about our Father:
1st: He wants you to be happy (one of the fruits of the spirit is Joy!)and prosperous
2nd: He knows what you have need of before you even ask, but He wants us to ask anyway, and believe He will do it!
3rd: He is your provider, and as long as you truly believe that, trusting Him each day for your needs, He will be faithful. It may be "day to day" and you may not ever know where the next bit of provision will come from, but He does move in mysterious ways!
4th: He loves you and your children more than you can imagine. If you give good gifts to your children, imagine how much greater the gifts He has in mind for you! Maybe what He really wants if for you to trust Him. If you move away, trusting in yourself or your own earning power to make it work, you may never discover the joy of trusting God fully.

I am praying for you in this difficult time. We have been there several times, even went for months without my husband working. Yet, God was faithful and we never lost our home or even had to do without, and in fact paid off several debts during that time. Test Him, He will prove strong and able to provide for you and protect you!

Sallie said...

We wanted to pay off our debt before we bought a house so we used this calculator to give us an idea of what to do. It was helpful for us (we were able to even exceed what it gave as payments and so are now debt free).. I hope you can use it and keep your house!

God bless!