Wednesday, March 15, 2006

One tired momma

I'm tired. I'm just plain tired.
Between everything going on here - there is no time to sleep.
I feel like I'm going to just pass out from sleep exhaustion.
Hardly any sleep this weekend trying to deal with baby being sick. Dh was busy painting a room, so he was little help in the childcare area.
Monday we woke up to water all over the basement. Ugh. I cried. I literally cried. We worked very hard Monday night to get things out of there and get the water out.
My child isn't sleeping. He is up all the time at night.
I've been telling dh for over a week now that I was sooooo tired and just plain exhausted. Saturday morning he let me sleep in for 2 hours ... so he asked me Saturday night "But you're all caught up from this morning, right? I mean you aren't really that tired are you?"
Ummm .. hello? I haven't slept more than a few hours at a time in like 3 weeks he thinks 2 hours are going to fix it all? Did he not listen to me each time I told him how just pure exhausted I feel? Apparently not. @@
I hate to complain because overall he's a doll .. I love him. However, he has been pulling tons of hours at work the last 2 weeks. He was doing so much to help me out around here - laundry, cooking, helping with the kids when he got home ot give me a break. That hasn't happened. He barely comes home in time to say good night to the girls and then he has a million other things he needs to get done.
I don't doubt his intentions are good, but he's not here for me and honestly, he's not really here for the kids either. And I'm so freaking exhausted.
Today my babyboy cried - no screamed - for like 2 hours. I held him, rocked him, tried to feed him, tried to give him a pacifier ... nothing helped until he cried himself to sleep.
I seriously wanted to cry with him. I am just so tired. The house is falling apart around us, there are still things to fix from the flood, I have tons of laundry to do, kids to school ... and I am feel like I'm drowning in it all.
The good thing is that somehow, despite feeling this way, I am actually able to cope with it all without going completely nuts. This may not seem like a big feat to most people, but for me it is. I have worked a long time to not completely go nuts and to learn to deal with feelign like this.
Now I just need to get sleep again and things will be peachy-keen.

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