Wednesday, July 06, 2005

So frustrated ...

I am so frustrated. I'm so pissed off. And I don't feel safe enough to even say what is going on. Let's just say it's family issues and I just don't know who's reading what. It just sucks all around. I feel like a bomb is getting ready to go off and although I'm sort of afraid of the fall-out, but yet at the same time, it's SOOOOO overdue that I will be glad when it finally happens. But I have a feeling we (my dh and I) will be cutting some ties with one or two family members. Who knows what will happen though. We are worried that it will in turn affect other people in the family, who we don't want to have any of the fall-out hit, so that complicates things a bit.
Aside from all of that, things are good. I got the results from my test back today. Everything came back negative - for downs syndrome, spina bifida, and trisomy 18. Like I said yesterday I just thought taht it might come back with something so I was surprised that it didn't! So I guess it was really just my anxiety after all, even though I didn't feel upset by the feeling. Just a wierd thing I guess .. or maybe it is showing that I am learning how to control my anxiety instead of letting it control me so much? That would certainly be good news!
My 2 year old had a rough day today. I hate days like this. Everything just sets her off and puts her in a melt-down, and it's just her sensory issues were extra sensitive today - i.e. someone would hug her and she would cry that she was hit and hurt. And to our understanding, that is really how her body is interpretting the input - as a hit and not the pleasant hug most of us would feel. It's so hard becuase I still feel so ill-equiped to help her deal with it all, and yet, I want to just grab her and make it all better.
Anyway, just a run down of my boring little life! LOL!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear the tests came back negative! Sorry about the family issues, though. I have had plenty of them with DH's family. We have no contact with my BIL and FIL for separate reasons. It's a shame that my kids don't have their uncle or grandfather around, but it was their choice to cut off contact. That is how my DH's family works when they get angry. IM me if you ever want to vent about it.