Monday, May 01, 2006

These are the days ...

Despite having issues with other people in my life, my family continues to be my joy and strength and love.
As Knittymama writes about with a baby there are three kinds of days in the rocking chair while disaster strikes around you, getting a ton of things done quickly usually while baby is sleeping or just a combo of the above two.
I feel like I rarely have any super-mommy days anymore. heck, I hardly have a super-mommy day these days. But this weekend I really was tied to the rocking chair while disaster struck all around me (well, yes, the disasters had a lot to do with my rant yesterday and a mini-vent not that long ago). But my babyboy needed me and needed me to rock him and hold him tight. Although I hold him often - he generally wants you to walk while you hold him, so I don't actually have many days in the rocking chair (although days where it seems nothing gets done happen quite often). But this weekend, I had lots of cuddle time partly becuase he demanded it (demanded by crying and fussing and acting positively miserable if we didn't) and I looked at my husband at one point while babyboy was sleeping in my arms, a smile across his face indicating some nice dreams - my 6 and 3 year old was running around outside with a friends and their laughter could be heard in the living room, him sitting on the couch just chatting with me. And I realized this is it. This is that moment that so many people dream about. That perfect moment - all kids are happy and content, dh and I chatting (while also gazing into each other eyes). For those precious moments, life seems just perfect and full of bliss. And I thought it was a picture perfect moment - not becuase it would have looked perfect for that instant, but for that moment all was perfect in our life. And life was good. And that one moment made all the sleepless nights, all the arguments I have to break up between my girl, the little tiffs dh and I get into, all the less than perfect moments - it's okay that we have those, that we go through those bumps, becuase every so often we get these perfect moments. And life is sweet and good. And I just thought I love my family so much - and not just at that moment when it was all perfect, but I was full of love when moments later, dh got up to do work, the laughs from outside turned into a little spat about who's turn it really was for some toy, as babyboy wiggled in my arms becuase someone threw open the door and walked in loudly.
I do. I am in love with my family. I am in love with them so much ... I just couldn't believe how much it hit me right then. Don't get me wrong, I knew I loved them before that, but all of the sudden I just had a deep love and an appreciation for them - the good and the bad, the ups and downs.
Have I lived a perfect life? Nope. Far from it. Has life always been cheery and rosey? Nope. It hasn't. Would I trade it for something that was "better"? Nope. Not in a million years. This family is stuck with me forever!

On a side note, today I discovered why I was plastered to the rocking chair with babyboy most of the weekend - his first tooth came in today. And as if one big thing wasn't enough today, he also apparently learned to sit up by himself while I was holding him all weekend too!
These are the days =) And I couldn't be happier.

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