Well, things are going so-so over here.
There are a lot of things going on. Dh and I are having a disagreement on what is kind of a major issue. Right now he is winning for a variety of reasons. I'd rather not go into detail just quite yet, but, well, I'm afraid of where this disagreement may take us by the end of summer.
We are in the midst of having a huge garage sale - well it would have been huge had it not decided to rain off and on today. Oh well. We'll end up with a few bucks when it's all said and done on Saturday.
As far as my sister goes, well, we won't be talking about that here anymore. Everytime I think things will change and start to improve for her, well, something happens (and mostly things out of her control) and I can't take this roller coaster ride. I suppose it's mean and it's the coward's way out, but I'm leaving this ride. Mostly because according to my mom not too long ago, her relationship with me is an issue @@ (she claims my sis's therapist told her that, but I don't believe her and actually told her to tell that doctor to call me and I'd GLADLY talk to him about our relationship. Yeah, phone still hasn't rang - surprise surprise). Well, I don't know what to do anymore. I can't have my sister stay with us. We don't even have our own home @@ (which don't get me going on that issue) so what can I do? I refuse to ride this ride anymore. My mom wants to blame me? Fine. Let her blame me if it will make her feel better. In the meantime I will continue to be there for my sister doing what I can when I can. But aside from that. I'm off the ride. I do not agree with what my mom has decided to do. I do not think the health care professionals in my sisters life are advising her to do these things either. And so I'm done listening to it. I can't anymore. I'm not strong enough to bare her burdens and my own. Call me weak. Maybe I'm a bad sister. Maybe I'm a bad daughter. But my family and me has to come first and I can't be in this battle anymore.
I think that about sums it up for now.
I know, things don't sound good in this post, but I'm feeling extremely stressed right now. And I don't do stress. Once I'm able to calm down and step back, things will be good again, but at this moment, I'm struggling to keep emotions under control . I will survive. I know I can. And when I feel this way again I will handle it a bit better and a bit better and someday I might actually feel like a normal person who is capable of dealing with life ;-)