Saturday, April 02, 2005

Oh dear ....

So I think I've mentioned before that I'm currently in the process of trying to break out of my little world that I had created, a world in which I only say things that I think are perfect and happy and never reveal anything bad about myself.
I've really been working hard to say what I am thinking, to say what I mean, without sugar coating it or rewording it to make it sound nicer, better, but usually resulted in something that isn't close to what I want to actually say.
So I've really been trying for sometime to come out more and be myself more, instead of this perfect person I envision.
And I knew it was coming, I just didn't know it would come now or come from this source, but it happened. I was asked today if I pregnant or something else was going on becuase I seem so sensitive as of late.
Seriously, why is it that when I speak my mind it must be something hormonal or because something is wrong? Why it can't it just be that I spoke my mind for once? See, comments like this make me want to run back to that protective wall I built up and go back to the fake person I was before. Becuase I hate comments like that. I hate getting them. I hate thinking about them. I just hate them. I wish I could avoid them. But alas, I know I can not. And even more important, other people have noticed the change ... and instead of asking me if I was pregnant or if something was wrong, they have actually made positive comments to me. I will hold those comments dear and near to my heart and instead of turning and running under a rock somewhere, I won't do it! I'll continue to speak how I really feel. And well, I guess, if some people would like to think that it's becuase something is wrong, then they can! But they wrong, because right now there are a lot of things right, and it's taken me time to get to this point! And I'm not backing down now! LOL!


Smoov said...

Screw those people who say those stupid things. Most of the time, when someone makes a comment like "What, are you hormonal?" It is because their wit and intellect are not evolved enough to come up with something better!

I like the new and improved you, I like it when you get all fiesty ;)

Dawn said...

Don't let emotional vampires get the best of you! Be who you are and if someone doesn't like it, it's their problem. Tell them to go pound sand up their arse! :)