So I think I've mentioned before that I'm currently in the process of trying to break out of my little world that I had created, a world in which I only say things that I think are perfect and happy and never reveal anything bad about myself.
I've really been working hard to say what I am thinking, to say what I mean, without sugar coating it or rewording it to make it sound nicer, better, but usually resulted in something that isn't close to what I want to actually say.
So I've really been trying for sometime to come out more and be myself more, instead of this perfect person I envision.
And I knew it was coming, I just didn't know it would come now or come from this source, but it happened. I was asked today if I pregnant or something else was going on becuase I seem so sensitive as of late.
Seriously, why is it that when I speak my mind it must be something hormonal or because something is wrong? Why it can't it just be that I spoke my mind for once? See, comments like this make me want to run back to that protective wall I built up and go back to the fake person I was before. Becuase I hate comments like that. I hate getting them. I hate thinking about them. I just hate them. I wish I could avoid them. But alas, I know I can not. And even more important, other people have noticed the change ... and instead of asking me if I was pregnant or if something was wrong, they have actually made positive comments to me. I will hold those comments dear and near to my heart and instead of turning and running under a rock somewhere, I won't do it! I'll continue to speak how I really feel. And well, I guess, if some people would like to think that it's becuase something is wrong, then they can! But they wrong, because right now there are a lot of things right, and it's taken me time to get to this point! And I'm not backing down now! LOL!