Friday, September 28, 2007

Already starting ...

Today my 7 year old came to me pretty sad.
A few girls in the neighborhoods made fun of her clothes. They said her shirts were not "cool." They also teased her because they weren't bought at 2 stored that are apparently in around here. Furthermore, they laughed and guessed her clothes were bought at Target or Kohls.
I knew this day would be coming. And I feel her pain (I never shopped at the right stores growing up either). And it's killing me to know they are are already teasing her about this ... the girl is in second grade! Do kids really care about where the clothes they wear come from? Do other parents buy the clothes the children insist are "cool" without thinking about the cost or the message they are sending their children? Well, apparently kids that young do care about it.
And because dh and I don't believe in catering to what is cool and what is not, my dd will pay the price by having these kids make fun of her.

We did talk about it today. I told her what is on the inside is more important, but that it is sometimes hard to remember that when you are young and trying to be cool. I told her she is beautiful no matter where her clothes are bought. I told her to not let anyone make her feel any less pretty because of it. I gave her a big hug. I told her I was sorry that it was happening. I tried to make her feel better. I tried to alleviate some of her pain. She smiled when we were done. She told me she knew the inside was more important. But she told me it's not fun to be the "uncool" kid.

I can't fix this. And I'll admit ... there is a part of me that wants to run out to the "cool" stores and buy her a few shirts from there so that she can be like the others, but I won't do that. Maybe when the budget allows for it, or we are going just because it is a place to shop, we'll go to them. And maybe we'll buy something ... but I don't want to teach her at 7 to cave into peer pressure!

But folks, my heart hurts for her. And I hope this isn't going to happen often or anytime soon. Because I've been there. And it doesn't feel good. And it isn't easy to remember to judge someone by the inside when you are 12 and the other kids are laughing at you.


Mama's Moon said...

This brought back memories of my own (painful) childhood with the 'cool kids'. It's almost like it was yesterday. It's infuriating just how mean kids can really get over such trivial things!!! I'm sorry your daughter has to deal with this -- at seven, no less!!! The picked-on kid in me will be thinking of her throughout this school year; the mommy in me couldn't have given her better words of advice than you did...

Smoov said...

What little jerks! I haven't heard kids that young noticing stuff like that :(

That said, I hope you don't mean to imply that parents who allow their kids to dress in the trendy clothes are wrong for doing that. Since you know what it's like to not fit in I'm sure you understand how important it is for kids to feel accepted by their peers. But then there's that fine balance of not caving to pressure when it's the wrong kind of pressure, kwim?

Jungle Mom said...

One of the things I did not mind doing with out while living in the jungle!!!!