Here we go again ....

with my 3 year old that is.
So, you know how sometimes you're just skipping along, thinking everything is all dandy and then WHAM! someone blindsides you with what you weren't expecting (or maybe didn't want to hear)?
Yep. happened today.
My 3 year old has a sort of long history - therapy, they thought she was autistic, then not, blah, blah, blah.
Well she has been having a lot of feet issues. So we took her to a podiatrist (sp) to get them looked at. And obviously gave her history (especially that she had been in physical therapy before and blah blah blah).
Went for the follow-up today. So doc says that she HIGHLY advises us to take her to a pediatric neurologist to be evaluated. She sees autistic tendencies in my 3 year old, that she has very low muscle tone, a lot of podiatry issues in kids are linked to neurological disorders and was frankly kind of shocked we weren't advised to do this before.
Well, we were advised to do that before. But we are also advised to take her in to another major hospital in the area and have her evaluated there. So we did. And they said there she was fine and no pediatric neuoroligst visit was needed for her. So we cancelled the appointment.
Boy, isn't hindsight 20/20?
And here I was just thinking recently how far she has come and I was so proud of where she is today given where she was not that long ago in her short little life. And then this. And so tomorrow I will call and take her in, and this time no one can talk me out of it.
And of course as I'm thinking in my head how stupid that is and she doesn't need a neuologist and dh and are I talking, we start to talk about some things. And you know what, when we really step back and look, well, yeah, there are still some issues present. And there are some things going on. And having her looked at is the right thing to do, but man. I'm worn out. One day one doctor is telling me there are issues and the next they are telling me there isn't any. I just don't know what to think. And sometimes I feel like I'm trying desperately to get the doctors the see the issues I see, and on other days I'm desperately trying to understand what issues they are seeing because I don't see any.
It is all very frustrating, and I feel like we are starting all over again with this merry-go-round of dealing with everything. And oh yeah, they want her back in physical therapy, and apparently intense therapy - like maybe twice a week? Holy cow. So I guess tomorrow I will be calling to schedule an appointment with a neuorologist (which I'm guessing it will take like 3-4 months to get in there) and I'll call her old PT for just an evaluation of where she is to see what she thinks of all of this.
But I don't know ... I'm not ready to be back in all of this again. To have to deal with it all again. To face the possibility that there is something going on with her. It's just so draining to do it all honestly. And I think, it's not like her issues are that bad - but yet, that's almost part of the problem ... she's probably a borderline patient .. and do we assume she falls on the side of the line that says she needs help or assume she falls on the other side and not help her?
Well ... I'll figure it out I guess after getting her in to see several doctors I guess.