Today I got contacts. I know, I know, just contacts you are probably thinking. Lots of people have them, they are available pretty much anywhere.
But you see I have had glasses for I want to say 7 or 8 years now. I never have worn contacts before.
One time I tried out contacts. It was at a Lenscrafters. Let me tell you, don't use lenscrafters for anything other than buying glasses.
They had the secretary help me with the contacts. Her qualifications: she wore contacts. I tried them on. I could hardly see. The world was a blurry whirl of colors. The woman helping me couldn't figure out why. She swore up and down she had the contacts that matched my prescription. Well, probably she didn't. But I had already been there for 3 hours, I was frustrated and I said forget it, paid and left and vowed to NEVER use lenscrafters for anything other than getting glasses again honestly. (and yes, I get that htey are independently owned I probably visited the one sucky location and the rest are not like that, but you know what, oh well!)
Anyway, today when getting my eyes checked I decided to try it again. And someone who knew what they were doing helped me out. And I got one contact in - and I could see! And I got the second one in - and I could still see!!! Yippee!!! I'm so excited.
And so now, over the course of the next few days I will start to wear my contacts and hopefully get used to them and fall in love with them!
But my poor babyboy ... he wil have nothing to grab off of my face anymore!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
My new blogging friend ...
is Bloglines
I like it because I can add the blogs I like to read to my feeds. When those blogs are updated, then it lets me know. That means I don't have to check the blog daily for updates. When it gets updated - whether it be hourly or monthly, I can see it in my blogline feeds.
Anyway, I recommend it to anyone who likes to visit several blogs often.
The other nice thing is blog clippings. Now I read a lot of knitting blogs and get ideas of future projects from other bloggers. Well it gives you the option to save one blog entry - which I am using to save, all those great knitting ideas!
So, ther you go, there's my plug for Bloglines
I like it because I can add the blogs I like to read to my feeds. When those blogs are updated, then it lets me know. That means I don't have to check the blog daily for updates. When it gets updated - whether it be hourly or monthly, I can see it in my blogline feeds.
Anyway, I recommend it to anyone who likes to visit several blogs often.
The other nice thing is blog clippings. Now I read a lot of knitting blogs and get ideas of future projects from other bloggers. Well it gives you the option to save one blog entry - which I am using to save, all those great knitting ideas!
So, ther you go, there's my plug for Bloglines
Monday, March 20, 2006
Babyboy Update ...
Ped said he sounds all clear today! YEAH!!!
We'll keep him on meds for 3 more days, then stop them and see what happens.
She thinks the sleeping is just a fluke OR he wasn't sleeping before becuase the illness was interferring with it - He slept like 8 hours last night? And it's noon right now ... from 6:00 to now, he has only been awake for about 45 minutes. Usually he's only been asleep for about 45 minutes.
We were also advised to keep him out of public places and crowds for an indefinite amount of time. It won't be that hard to do, but yet, it will be. My 6 year old takes classes on Monday. I'm supposed to stay with her, but that is definitely one place we should avoid with him at all costs - we are in a gym with anywhere from 30-100 people in it (most being other children who are running around and want to see the baby and all that jazz). That will be hard. Tonight I will have to be making phone calls to see if one of the other parents can be her responsible adult if I just drop her off and then pick her up. I have a few people in mind, but they aren't there for all 3 of her classes, only 2 of them, so I we may have to pull her out of one class. We'll see - I don't want to do that to her, but at the same time, one child's medical issues have to trump one child's fun things, kwim?
But I am thrilled to hear he's all clear. And for now I will enjoy all his sleeping - until he starts sleeping through meals and not peeing enough which I'm praying doesn't happen - and yes, I will attempt to keep him in a plastic bubble for a little while. If it means he won't be sick again and on a bunch of medicines and that he's healthy and happy, I'm doing it!
We'll keep him on meds for 3 more days, then stop them and see what happens.
She thinks the sleeping is just a fluke OR he wasn't sleeping before becuase the illness was interferring with it - He slept like 8 hours last night? And it's noon right now ... from 6:00 to now, he has only been awake for about 45 minutes. Usually he's only been asleep for about 45 minutes.
We were also advised to keep him out of public places and crowds for an indefinite amount of time. It won't be that hard to do, but yet, it will be. My 6 year old takes classes on Monday. I'm supposed to stay with her, but that is definitely one place we should avoid with him at all costs - we are in a gym with anywhere from 30-100 people in it (most being other children who are running around and want to see the baby and all that jazz). That will be hard. Tonight I will have to be making phone calls to see if one of the other parents can be her responsible adult if I just drop her off and then pick her up. I have a few people in mind, but they aren't there for all 3 of her classes, only 2 of them, so I we may have to pull her out of one class. We'll see - I don't want to do that to her, but at the same time, one child's medical issues have to trump one child's fun things, kwim?
But I am thrilled to hear he's all clear. And for now I will enjoy all his sleeping - until he starts sleeping through meals and not peeing enough which I'm praying doesn't happen - and yes, I will attempt to keep him in a plastic bubble for a little while. If it means he won't be sick again and on a bunch of medicines and that he's healthy and happy, I'm doing it!
Sunday, March 19, 2006
My poor baby ...
He's still pretty ill. :-( He's been sleeping a ton over the last few days too. however, he is doing this be awake for a while, eat, and then sleep for a little while, etc, etc, etc ....
His cough is picking up too. And now he does this lovely choking thing which scares the crud out of me. I think I might have a heart attack from this darling child of mine. And of course, all i want is for him to be better and healthy.
Crud .. he just choked again. Hold on while I remind my heart to beat and my diaphram to work ....
Okay, so, I feel badly for this little guy. :-(
On a more positive note, we went out to celebrate my dh's birthday last night. He turns the big 30 on Thursday. So last night we headed on over to a place called Medieval Times. I actually parted from my child and left him with a babysitter. The place was great - but not for infants. We all had a lot of fun and enjoyed ourselves. My dh liked the GameCube I bought for him (yeah) and well, he got another VERY nice gift from someone else and that's all I'll say about that (think $$$$$ which we were surprised, shocked and totally not expecting).
Okay, well babyboy is starting to fuss so I need to go get him now ...
His cough is picking up too. And now he does this lovely choking thing which scares the crud out of me. I think I might have a heart attack from this darling child of mine. And of course, all i want is for him to be better and healthy.
Crud .. he just choked again. Hold on while I remind my heart to beat and my diaphram to work ....
Okay, so, I feel badly for this little guy. :-(
On a more positive note, we went out to celebrate my dh's birthday last night. He turns the big 30 on Thursday. So last night we headed on over to a place called Medieval Times. I actually parted from my child and left him with a babysitter. The place was great - but not for infants. We all had a lot of fun and enjoyed ourselves. My dh liked the GameCube I bought for him (yeah) and well, he got another VERY nice gift from someone else and that's all I'll say about that (think $$$$$ which we were surprised, shocked and totally not expecting).
Okay, well babyboy is starting to fuss so I need to go get him now ...
Friday, March 17, 2006
Ugh.
So we went to the doctor today.
Today was the day we were supposed to take babyboy in and he would sound clear and the doctor would tell us to stop the medicine and bring him back next week to see how he was sounding.
Except he wasn't clear today. He also developed a runny nose and an awful cough. And he's still retracting. He's not wheezing thankfully, but you know what, we have to continue to treat him. He's still breathing fast and hard and his heart rate is still high.
So our peditrician looked at me and said that there is something going on with my little guy, but she doesn't know what it is. And she is sending us to a specialist because she doesn't like what is happening. And she wants in to see the specialist sooner rather than later that SHE is calling to make his appointment. Because she doesn't want us to have to wait to get in to see him. It's an allergy/asthma specialist. On one hand I feel like, that is great - she's not going to just try stuff to make it look like she is saving the day, she is being honest, upfront, isn't going to let this go on without doing something and sending us to someone who should be able to help us. On the other hand, I'm freaking out on the inside! What is going on that she can't tell us what it is and why can't we fix it right now and why do we have to go see a specialist? And what if they find something really wrong with my baby? Why is he retracting? Why is he breathing so hard? Why is heart rate up? Why is all of this happening? I just want to sit and cry and I want to give my baby a kiss and make it all better. :-(
I also want to say I paid 90 for a physical for the doctor to tell me the only thing wrong with me is lack of sleep. Which I knew, but at the same time, I wanted to be sure.
Oh, and just to top it off, they were letting the girls do the eye exam. Great? Right. Wrong. My 3 year old apparently couldn't see past the 3rd line (normal vision is the 6th or 7th line) so the nurse suggested we get that checked out. Oh sure. Let me add it to my list. I guess better to find out sooner rather than later. But dude, I feel so overwhelmed right now.
Well I have an appointment myself Wednesday so I guess I'll just call nad see if I can get her looked at at the same time.
::sigh:: I'm ready for bed!
Today was the day we were supposed to take babyboy in and he would sound clear and the doctor would tell us to stop the medicine and bring him back next week to see how he was sounding.
Except he wasn't clear today. He also developed a runny nose and an awful cough. And he's still retracting. He's not wheezing thankfully, but you know what, we have to continue to treat him. He's still breathing fast and hard and his heart rate is still high.
So our peditrician looked at me and said that there is something going on with my little guy, but she doesn't know what it is. And she is sending us to a specialist because she doesn't like what is happening. And she wants in to see the specialist sooner rather than later that SHE is calling to make his appointment. Because she doesn't want us to have to wait to get in to see him. It's an allergy/asthma specialist. On one hand I feel like, that is great - she's not going to just try stuff to make it look like she is saving the day, she is being honest, upfront, isn't going to let this go on without doing something and sending us to someone who should be able to help us. On the other hand, I'm freaking out on the inside! What is going on that she can't tell us what it is and why can't we fix it right now and why do we have to go see a specialist? And what if they find something really wrong with my baby? Why is he retracting? Why is he breathing so hard? Why is heart rate up? Why is all of this happening? I just want to sit and cry and I want to give my baby a kiss and make it all better. :-(
I also want to say I paid 90 for a physical for the doctor to tell me the only thing wrong with me is lack of sleep. Which I knew, but at the same time, I wanted to be sure.
Oh, and just to top it off, they were letting the girls do the eye exam. Great? Right. Wrong. My 3 year old apparently couldn't see past the 3rd line (normal vision is the 6th or 7th line) so the nurse suggested we get that checked out. Oh sure. Let me add it to my list. I guess better to find out sooner rather than later. But dude, I feel so overwhelmed right now.
Well I have an appointment myself Wednesday so I guess I'll just call nad see if I can get her looked at at the same time.
::sigh:: I'm ready for bed!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
It's a miracle!!!
I think my brain tumor has shrunk in size! ROFL!! I woke up today without a headache! It was a wonderful feeling. Of course, last night I had the best night's sleep in over a week now ... I'm sure that had a lot to do with it. ;-)
I am still feeling a ton of stress. Although, my dh put the carpets back down in the basement (we had the hole patched today so :::crossing fingers::: no more water). Most of my fabric has been washed and the icky smell is gone. I have some cross stitch things I need to wash.
The biggest blow this week, however, is not the water issue. We had planned on buying the house we are in right now (dh's gp's house). We can not afford to buy it on our own. Dh had a plan, we talked about this plan, we talked to the people who would help us with this plan (basically it was to take the bank loan for what they would approve us for and borrow the rest from someone else). Well, the people who we thought were going to be able to help us, are not able to help us. Apparently there is no money for them to help us (that or they just don't want to help us and don't want to tell us that.)
So, basically that means we are leaving this house this summer. And I'm sad. I love this house - I love the location, I love the size, I love the history. I'm so bummed we can't afford it and that we can't stay here. On the other hand, staying here would have severely put a damper on the financial situation. We would have literally had to have watched every single penny. That would have been hard. But I hate to have to move again.
And of course, our plan now is to buy hte most house for the least amount of money and then move up in a few years. Which means not only do I have to move this summer, but I will be probably moving in a few years as well. I so am not looking forward to that at all. But financially, it's a smart move for us and will put us in the best financial situation.
So that will be a bummer.
And I know my 2 girls will hate it. They will just hate it when we tell them and when we have to move. And it will be sad for everyone. The gp's wanted to keep the house in the family and we wanted to buy the house. It seemed like a win-win situation for everyone ... but it was not meant to be.
:::sigh::: But, i guess I get to start looking on-line for prospective houses. That can be fun ... although I always fall in love wit the ones that are twice what we can afford ROFL!!!
I am still feeling a ton of stress. Although, my dh put the carpets back down in the basement (we had the hole patched today so :::crossing fingers::: no more water). Most of my fabric has been washed and the icky smell is gone. I have some cross stitch things I need to wash.
The biggest blow this week, however, is not the water issue. We had planned on buying the house we are in right now (dh's gp's house). We can not afford to buy it on our own. Dh had a plan, we talked about this plan, we talked to the people who would help us with this plan (basically it was to take the bank loan for what they would approve us for and borrow the rest from someone else). Well, the people who we thought were going to be able to help us, are not able to help us. Apparently there is no money for them to help us (that or they just don't want to help us and don't want to tell us that.)
So, basically that means we are leaving this house this summer. And I'm sad. I love this house - I love the location, I love the size, I love the history. I'm so bummed we can't afford it and that we can't stay here. On the other hand, staying here would have severely put a damper on the financial situation. We would have literally had to have watched every single penny. That would have been hard. But I hate to have to move again.
And of course, our plan now is to buy hte most house for the least amount of money and then move up in a few years. Which means not only do I have to move this summer, but I will be probably moving in a few years as well. I so am not looking forward to that at all. But financially, it's a smart move for us and will put us in the best financial situation.
So that will be a bummer.
And I know my 2 girls will hate it. They will just hate it when we tell them and when we have to move. And it will be sad for everyone. The gp's wanted to keep the house in the family and we wanted to buy the house. It seemed like a win-win situation for everyone ... but it was not meant to be.
:::sigh::: But, i guess I get to start looking on-line for prospective houses. That can be fun ... although I always fall in love wit the ones that are twice what we can afford ROFL!!!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I think ...
I have a brain tumor. @@ (Yes, I'm rolling my eyes at myself LOL!)
Two, or three days ago now, I just got this killer headache. I still have it. Tylenol isn't really helping and I'm not supposed to do advil with the nursing.
Not only that but I've been feeling naseous - not overwhelming so, just liek that slight naseous feeling. Enough to be annoying, if that makes sense?
I'm sure it's a combo of a bunch of things - the no sleep, I know I need ot get my eyeglass prescription changed, my jaw problems spark headaches for me.
I just don't remember having one that has lasted to long and been unresponsive to meds.
To top it off, my moods have been crazy the last few days. Like, I don't feel like me. I also feel like I'm not me - if that makes sense at all.
But that coul dalso be from lack of sleep and having a killer headache.
Both dh and I have noticed that for a few weeks now I'll be talking and just all of a sudden have no freaking clue what I am talking about. Or I'll try to say a word and I can NOT for the life me remember the word and I do the whole umm, umm, umm, and give the definition - and I feel like an idiot. We keep saying it's becuase I have the kids all day and I'm not sleeping so of course I'm bound to do those things. But now I have this headache and I'm sure it's a brain tumor.
Dh thinks it's stress, lack of sleep, the eye issue, the jaw issue, etc, etc. Of course, he's not a paranoid, anxiety ridden person so he's probably got the more accurate description.
That said, tomorrow I am making an appointment with the orthodontist for my jaw, optometrist for my eyes, my therapist for my anxiety. Friday when I take babyboy to the doctor for a check-up, I am also going to have her give me one too.
I dont know .. maybe the dx will by hypochondriach (no, I can't spell that word) and I can get some sugar pills and feel better LOL!
Two, or three days ago now, I just got this killer headache. I still have it. Tylenol isn't really helping and I'm not supposed to do advil with the nursing.
Not only that but I've been feeling naseous - not overwhelming so, just liek that slight naseous feeling. Enough to be annoying, if that makes sense?
I'm sure it's a combo of a bunch of things - the no sleep, I know I need ot get my eyeglass prescription changed, my jaw problems spark headaches for me.
I just don't remember having one that has lasted to long and been unresponsive to meds.
To top it off, my moods have been crazy the last few days. Like, I don't feel like me. I also feel like I'm not me - if that makes sense at all.
But that coul dalso be from lack of sleep and having a killer headache.
Both dh and I have noticed that for a few weeks now I'll be talking and just all of a sudden have no freaking clue what I am talking about. Or I'll try to say a word and I can NOT for the life me remember the word and I do the whole umm, umm, umm, and give the definition - and I feel like an idiot. We keep saying it's becuase I have the kids all day and I'm not sleeping so of course I'm bound to do those things. But now I have this headache and I'm sure it's a brain tumor.
Dh thinks it's stress, lack of sleep, the eye issue, the jaw issue, etc, etc. Of course, he's not a paranoid, anxiety ridden person so he's probably got the more accurate description.
That said, tomorrow I am making an appointment with the orthodontist for my jaw, optometrist for my eyes, my therapist for my anxiety. Friday when I take babyboy to the doctor for a check-up, I am also going to have her give me one too.
I dont know .. maybe the dx will by hypochondriach (no, I can't spell that word) and I can get some sugar pills and feel better LOL!
One tired momma
I'm tired. I'm just plain tired.
Between everything going on here - there is no time to sleep.
I feel like I'm going to just pass out from sleep exhaustion.
Hardly any sleep this weekend trying to deal with baby being sick. Dh was busy painting a room, so he was little help in the childcare area.
Monday we woke up to water all over the basement. Ugh. I cried. I literally cried. We worked very hard Monday night to get things out of there and get the water out.
My child isn't sleeping. He is up all the time at night.
I've been telling dh for over a week now that I was sooooo tired and just plain exhausted. Saturday morning he let me sleep in for 2 hours ... so he asked me Saturday night "But you're all caught up from this morning, right? I mean you aren't really that tired are you?"
Ummm .. hello? I haven't slept more than a few hours at a time in like 3 weeks he thinks 2 hours are going to fix it all? Did he not listen to me each time I told him how just pure exhausted I feel? Apparently not. @@
I hate to complain because overall he's a doll .. I love him. However, he has been pulling tons of hours at work the last 2 weeks. He was doing so much to help me out around here - laundry, cooking, helping with the kids when he got home ot give me a break. That hasn't happened. He barely comes home in time to say good night to the girls and then he has a million other things he needs to get done.
I don't doubt his intentions are good, but he's not here for me and honestly, he's not really here for the kids either. And I'm so freaking exhausted.
Today my babyboy cried - no screamed - for like 2 hours. I held him, rocked him, tried to feed him, tried to give him a pacifier ... nothing helped until he cried himself to sleep.
I seriously wanted to cry with him. I am just so tired. The house is falling apart around us, there are still things to fix from the flood, I have tons of laundry to do, kids to school ... and I am feel like I'm drowning in it all.
The good thing is that somehow, despite feeling this way, I am actually able to cope with it all without going completely nuts. This may not seem like a big feat to most people, but for me it is. I have worked a long time to not completely go nuts and to learn to deal with feelign like this.
Now I just need to get sleep again and things will be peachy-keen.
Between everything going on here - there is no time to sleep.
I feel like I'm going to just pass out from sleep exhaustion.
Hardly any sleep this weekend trying to deal with baby being sick. Dh was busy painting a room, so he was little help in the childcare area.
Monday we woke up to water all over the basement. Ugh. I cried. I literally cried. We worked very hard Monday night to get things out of there and get the water out.
My child isn't sleeping. He is up all the time at night.
I've been telling dh for over a week now that I was sooooo tired and just plain exhausted. Saturday morning he let me sleep in for 2 hours ... so he asked me Saturday night "But you're all caught up from this morning, right? I mean you aren't really that tired are you?"
Ummm .. hello? I haven't slept more than a few hours at a time in like 3 weeks he thinks 2 hours are going to fix it all? Did he not listen to me each time I told him how just pure exhausted I feel? Apparently not. @@
I hate to complain because overall he's a doll .. I love him. However, he has been pulling tons of hours at work the last 2 weeks. He was doing so much to help me out around here - laundry, cooking, helping with the kids when he got home ot give me a break. That hasn't happened. He barely comes home in time to say good night to the girls and then he has a million other things he needs to get done.
I don't doubt his intentions are good, but he's not here for me and honestly, he's not really here for the kids either. And I'm so freaking exhausted.
Today my babyboy cried - no screamed - for like 2 hours. I held him, rocked him, tried to feed him, tried to give him a pacifier ... nothing helped until he cried himself to sleep.
I seriously wanted to cry with him. I am just so tired. The house is falling apart around us, there are still things to fix from the flood, I have tons of laundry to do, kids to school ... and I am feel like I'm drowning in it all.
The good thing is that somehow, despite feeling this way, I am actually able to cope with it all without going completely nuts. This may not seem like a big feat to most people, but for me it is. I have worked a long time to not completely go nuts and to learn to deal with feelign like this.
Now I just need to get sleep again and things will be peachy-keen.
Friday, March 10, 2006
My poor baby ...
My babyboy is sick again :-( He is getting nebulizer treatments again. I just feel bad for him. The thing that just makes me most nervous is that 2 days ago, he was fine, yesterday he was congested and today he was wheezing and retracting. It just seems to happen so fast. Our ped said if we didn't have the nebulizer at home already she probably would have sent us to the hospital today to get him some treatments. Well, I'm glad we have it here! We came home and started the treatments up (after digging it out of storage). I guess we won't store it away so quickly this time. She also told me that we need to watch him for asthma as this point if this happens again.
Yikes! I don't know what to do. 50% of me wants to keep him in a bubble. The other half of me doesn't want to over-react and keep him home if it's not needed. Not to mention the other 2 kids who have things they want to do and places they want to go. :::sigh::: I mean, health issues will trump the fun things, but I am praying it's not asthma. That he just picked up another virus and it's close to the last one he had just by pure coincedence. Well, I guess we'll see what happens with him in the future. I guess I shouldn't start worrying about it yet.
The good news is that he is actually pretty happy overall. Just smiling and laughing, although he wants to be held pretty closely. Which is nice. He has no fever so that's good too. And despite being on albuterol, he hasn't been overly-hyper (which I guess happens to some kids).
I just feel bad and I hope he does get better ... I'm keeping a close eye on him though just in case.
Yikes! I don't know what to do. 50% of me wants to keep him in a bubble. The other half of me doesn't want to over-react and keep him home if it's not needed. Not to mention the other 2 kids who have things they want to do and places they want to go. :::sigh::: I mean, health issues will trump the fun things, but I am praying it's not asthma. That he just picked up another virus and it's close to the last one he had just by pure coincedence. Well, I guess we'll see what happens with him in the future. I guess I shouldn't start worrying about it yet.
The good news is that he is actually pretty happy overall. Just smiling and laughing, although he wants to be held pretty closely. Which is nice. He has no fever so that's good too. And despite being on albuterol, he hasn't been overly-hyper (which I guess happens to some kids).
I just feel bad and I hope he does get better ... I'm keeping a close eye on him though just in case.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
3rd time's the charm ...
My third child is by far getting my best parenting ever. I hate to say it - but it's true.
It's not that I didn't try with my first two. On the contrary, with my first I think I tried too hard. I wanted to be perfect. I hemmed and hawed over her every move. I was anxious and nervous. I constantly wondered if I was doing things "right" or "wrong" and if I was being the perfect parent. So much energy went into that, that I don't think I enjoyed her babyhood as much as I could have if I decided to relax and just take it as things came.
With my second, I was in a high stress situation and just felt overwhelmed until she was almost a year old. I had so much going on, I felt like my head would explode most days and, again, I missed out just enjoying her.
This time, I don't have that anxiety or worry about what is normal or not. And I don't have the stress in my life I had with my second. And it's so much more enjoyable this time around for those reasons. I really wish I could rewind time and go back to when my other two were little and find this sense of enjoyment. I feel like they were cheated somehow with their babyhood years.
Like today, my oldest was taking a bath, my middle was in her room dancing and singing, and babyboy and I were just hanging out in our room. Laying on the bed, talking to each other - okay cooing at each other. And I just realized that it was so fun and I loved having that moment with him. And I remember having moments like that with the other two, but I have these moments with him several times a day. I love it. I just absolutely love it. I can't get enough of him or these little moments.
Andnow of course, I'm not sure I want to stop at three kids anymore. Yes, you can imagine how wonderfully excited my dh was to hear that from me. I know he will be my last one, of course unless something happens like an oops moment at the exact right moment that conception could take place, but I doubt that might happen again.
But I love this. I am finally in a place in life where I am able to enjoy life a little more. Things aren't so overwhelming, I'm not so anxious, I'm not getting so caught up in the details and how-to's of life to miss what is actually happening around me. And it's a good place to be.
I'm getting all these moments with my baby that I can't get enough of.
I'm connecting with my 6 year old, despite it being hard to watch her grow up, and I'm loving my 3 year old.
Life is good over here. I'm still tired and pretty worn out, but I'm feeling all of that physically and not emotionally - and that is such a difference for me.
It's not that I didn't try with my first two. On the contrary, with my first I think I tried too hard. I wanted to be perfect. I hemmed and hawed over her every move. I was anxious and nervous. I constantly wondered if I was doing things "right" or "wrong" and if I was being the perfect parent. So much energy went into that, that I don't think I enjoyed her babyhood as much as I could have if I decided to relax and just take it as things came.
With my second, I was in a high stress situation and just felt overwhelmed until she was almost a year old. I had so much going on, I felt like my head would explode most days and, again, I missed out just enjoying her.
This time, I don't have that anxiety or worry about what is normal or not. And I don't have the stress in my life I had with my second. And it's so much more enjoyable this time around for those reasons. I really wish I could rewind time and go back to when my other two were little and find this sense of enjoyment. I feel like they were cheated somehow with their babyhood years.
Like today, my oldest was taking a bath, my middle was in her room dancing and singing, and babyboy and I were just hanging out in our room. Laying on the bed, talking to each other - okay cooing at each other. And I just realized that it was so fun and I loved having that moment with him. And I remember having moments like that with the other two, but I have these moments with him several times a day. I love it. I just absolutely love it. I can't get enough of him or these little moments.
Andnow of course, I'm not sure I want to stop at three kids anymore. Yes, you can imagine how wonderfully excited my dh was to hear that from me. I know he will be my last one, of course unless something happens like an oops moment at the exact right moment that conception could take place, but I doubt that might happen again.
But I love this. I am finally in a place in life where I am able to enjoy life a little more. Things aren't so overwhelming, I'm not so anxious, I'm not getting so caught up in the details and how-to's of life to miss what is actually happening around me. And it's a good place to be.
I'm getting all these moments with my baby that I can't get enough of.
I'm connecting with my 6 year old, despite it being hard to watch her grow up, and I'm loving my 3 year old.
Life is good over here. I'm still tired and pretty worn out, but I'm feeling all of that physically and not emotionally - and that is such a difference for me.
Monday, March 06, 2006
My Children
My 6 year old has her first "crush"
My 3 year old told her first blatant lie today
My 3 month old is apparently into nonfiction books.
Oh dear.
Today my 6 year old asked me if I was ever to shy to talk to other kids when I was growing up. We chatted about being shy, things to say, but I was in my head thinking "since when is she shy?" Then we get to where her classes are and she says "There he is mom. I don't know his name yet though. I'm nervous to talk to him." He? He? There he is! Yes, that's when it hit me. In between her classes she spotted where he was, asked someone else his name, etc. I'm guessing he's about 10/11 years old. She is 6. Then it was time to leave. She sighed "I never got to say hi to him." Oh boy. When we got to the car, I just asked her (not in a laughing tone or mocking tone) "Dear, do you have a little crush on this boy?" She turned red, giggled a little and said yes. Okay, when did she learn the word crush? She is 6. So we chatted for awhile. I've discovered she's at that age where friends are girls, and boys aren't really friends unless you like like them. But she doesn't really know what that means either. I think we've hit a point where boys and girls no longer look the same in her eyes. But she is 6. I am so not ready for even that to happen. What will I do when she has a real crush? My dh at first didn't like that I asked her that question to begin with though. I am. If we can't talk about things with her at 6, what will happen when she is 14? And she understood the question ... so it's good to talk about it and not freak out and to just chat and figure out what she's thinking. Right? He agreed with me then, but I hope I did the right thing.
My 3 year old got one of those fuzzy posters that you color. She asked me to open it tonight, very close to bedtime so I said no, we would do it tomorrow - too close to bed, blah blah. So she walks maybe 5 feet to my husband and says "Mommy said you can open this for me." Umm. Nope. So my dh asked her if she was sure. And she said yes, she was. I said "Emma that is not what I said." And she turned around, pointed her finger at me and said "No mom. We open it now." I think my jaw hit the floor. I believe that is the first tine she has been quite so defiant and she was blatantly lying. So off to time out she went ... with tears in her eyes and promises to never do it again.
My baby is really into nonfiction these days. I was reading Krakatoa : The Day the World Exploded: August 27, 1883 out loud to him because he wanted to have someone pay attention to him and I wanted to read. He liked it! He was smiling, kicking, cooing. Tonight we repeated this with The Colony : The Harrowing True Story of the Exiles of Molokai .
He's brilliant ... definitely will grow up to be a genius LOL! ;-)
Oh yeah, he also pooped through 2 outfits today too. Yep. Future genius on my hands!
My 3 year old told her first blatant lie today
My 3 month old is apparently into nonfiction books.
Oh dear.
Today my 6 year old asked me if I was ever to shy to talk to other kids when I was growing up. We chatted about being shy, things to say, but I was in my head thinking "since when is she shy?" Then we get to where her classes are and she says "There he is mom. I don't know his name yet though. I'm nervous to talk to him." He? He? There he is! Yes, that's when it hit me. In between her classes she spotted where he was, asked someone else his name, etc. I'm guessing he's about 10/11 years old. She is 6. Then it was time to leave. She sighed "I never got to say hi to him." Oh boy. When we got to the car, I just asked her (not in a laughing tone or mocking tone) "Dear, do you have a little crush on this boy?" She turned red, giggled a little and said yes. Okay, when did she learn the word crush? She is 6. So we chatted for awhile. I've discovered she's at that age where friends are girls, and boys aren't really friends unless you like like them. But she doesn't really know what that means either. I think we've hit a point where boys and girls no longer look the same in her eyes. But she is 6. I am so not ready for even that to happen. What will I do when she has a real crush? My dh at first didn't like that I asked her that question to begin with though. I am. If we can't talk about things with her at 6, what will happen when she is 14? And she understood the question ... so it's good to talk about it and not freak out and to just chat and figure out what she's thinking. Right? He agreed with me then, but I hope I did the right thing.
My 3 year old got one of those fuzzy posters that you color. She asked me to open it tonight, very close to bedtime so I said no, we would do it tomorrow - too close to bed, blah blah. So she walks maybe 5 feet to my husband and says "Mommy said you can open this for me." Umm. Nope. So my dh asked her if she was sure. And she said yes, she was. I said "Emma that is not what I said." And she turned around, pointed her finger at me and said "No mom. We open it now." I think my jaw hit the floor. I believe that is the first tine she has been quite so defiant and she was blatantly lying. So off to time out she went ... with tears in her eyes and promises to never do it again.
My baby is really into nonfiction these days. I was reading Krakatoa : The Day the World Exploded: August 27, 1883 out loud to him because he wanted to have someone pay attention to him and I wanted to read. He liked it! He was smiling, kicking, cooing. Tonight we repeated this with The Colony : The Harrowing True Story of the Exiles of Molokai .
He's brilliant ... definitely will grow up to be a genius LOL! ;-)
Oh yeah, he also pooped through 2 outfits today too. Yep. Future genius on my hands!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
More walking ...
Well, I kind of felt like crud today due to almost no sleep in the last 24 hours (mostly because of babyboy but partly because I spent some time reading when I could have been sleeping!) but I went walking anyway. Tonight I managed to get 2 miles in the same time it took me to get 1.5 miles last week. I even ran a few laps in the middle of all my walking. This is quite impressive for me. I don't generally like to be active or moving honestly so I was very happy with myself.
I have to admit, it does feel good when I'm done. I get an energy rush. I should figure out a way to do this more in the middle/earlier part of the day, but for now, I do it when dh gets home from work. My 3 year old has a park district class, so we have to be there anyway, why sit when I can walk?
And I have to admit, dh bought me a coke from McDonalds today. I didn't finish it. After walking, I just wanted water. And, tonight when getting a dessert, I originally picked up a Hershey bar, but then I set it back down for a granola bar. This is serious! I would like to lose ten pounds, I would like to firm up muscles, and I want to be healthier ... apparently I'm starting to actually do something about it as opposed to just thinking about what to do about it! This is a big deal for me!! Now if I start back up with some Pilates DVDs ... well, I don't know ... pigs may just start flying! LOL!
I have to admit, it does feel good when I'm done. I get an energy rush. I should figure out a way to do this more in the middle/earlier part of the day, but for now, I do it when dh gets home from work. My 3 year old has a park district class, so we have to be there anyway, why sit when I can walk?
And I have to admit, dh bought me a coke from McDonalds today. I didn't finish it. After walking, I just wanted water. And, tonight when getting a dessert, I originally picked up a Hershey bar, but then I set it back down for a granola bar. This is serious! I would like to lose ten pounds, I would like to firm up muscles, and I want to be healthier ... apparently I'm starting to actually do something about it as opposed to just thinking about what to do about it! This is a big deal for me!! Now if I start back up with some Pilates DVDs ... well, I don't know ... pigs may just start flying! LOL!
Monday, February 27, 2006
Deal or No Deal?
My family is in love with this show.
We watched it last time they ran it for a week. And tonight, they started airing it for another week.
All 5 of us sit around and watch it (well, okay, babyboy is only there because we are holding him, but you get it). And we all sit around and yell "Deal Deal Deal!!" or "No deal! No deal! No Deal!" and we get excited when they pick a case with a low number and we all sigh when it's a case with a big number. Dh and I talk about if we would deal or not and if we won, what we would do with the money ... okay, that's easy. We want to buy a house. So by default, depending on the amount 75-100% of our winnings would go to a house!
But it's fun. And yes, it's TV. We have family time by watching TV. I know some who would read that and think, you can't have family time by watching TV. But we do. We don't generally watch TV together often, so I don't feel bad about it.
And thanks to me reading Freakonomics today, I now know that TV viewign time is not correlated to good grades so I feel even less guilty watching it for this week than I did watching it the last week it was on! LOL!
Now, as if watching it wasn't enough, we can now play the game ourselves at Deal or No Deal. Tonight I would have won 192,000 and my dh would have walked away with 300,000. I only wish it were real LOL!!! Although I have been encouraging dh to apply for the show. He's good looking, he's got a good personality ... and he's smart about deals or no deals!!!
We watched it last time they ran it for a week. And tonight, they started airing it for another week.
All 5 of us sit around and watch it (well, okay, babyboy is only there because we are holding him, but you get it). And we all sit around and yell "Deal Deal Deal!!" or "No deal! No deal! No Deal!" and we get excited when they pick a case with a low number and we all sigh when it's a case with a big number. Dh and I talk about if we would deal or not and if we won, what we would do with the money ... okay, that's easy. We want to buy a house. So by default, depending on the amount 75-100% of our winnings would go to a house!
But it's fun. And yes, it's TV. We have family time by watching TV. I know some who would read that and think, you can't have family time by watching TV. But we do. We don't generally watch TV together often, so I don't feel bad about it.
And thanks to me reading Freakonomics today, I now know that TV viewign time is not correlated to good grades so I feel even less guilty watching it for this week than I did watching it the last week it was on! LOL!
Now, as if watching it wasn't enough, we can now play the game ourselves at Deal or No Deal. Tonight I would have won 192,000 and my dh would have walked away with 300,000. I only wish it were real LOL!!! Although I have been encouraging dh to apply for the show. He's good looking, he's got a good personality ... and he's smart about deals or no deals!!!
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Fun Weekend!
We just had a blast of a weekend!
My husband's mom came to visit us from NH. Now, she is not a typical MIL you read about. I LOVE her! We get along very well and I just adore her. She's not that you-stole-my-son-from-me-and-now-we-need-to-compete-with-each-other sort. Nor is she the you-are-doing-everything-with-my-grandkids-wrong-so-I-need-to-tell-you-how-to-do-it-better-than-you-are type either. So we really enjoy it when we get to see her. And to top it all off, this is the first time she has seen babyboy! So that was so much fun. She came in Thursday. And we chatted and chatted adn chatted. Friday woke up, hung out, and after lunch drove up to the dells to play at an indoor water park. So we spent the weekend swimming and chatting and just having a blast.
Unfotunately the trip was a short one - she left already :-( I'll miss her. The kids will miss her. But I have to admit I am freaking tired right now.
We ran around a lot, babyboy still isn't sleeping wonderfully and there was really no down time to nap during the day and get breaks. So it was go all day, stau up late, wake up with babyboy to eat every 2-3 hours, and then run around some more!
And now, my dh has a cold, my 3 year old has a runny nose since yesterday and my 6 year is complaining of it today. I don't feel all that hot either (although I'm thinking it's from lack of sleep).
I'm terrified we are going to have a bad week around here full of crabby, tired, people. But I have to say, I'm glad it will all happen after mil went back home. I would have felt so bad had she flown out here to deal with sick crabbies! She got to see everyone happy and running around and having fun! So that is good!
My husband's mom came to visit us from NH. Now, she is not a typical MIL you read about. I LOVE her! We get along very well and I just adore her. She's not that you-stole-my-son-from-me-and-now-we-need-to-compete-with-each-other sort. Nor is she the you-are-doing-everything-with-my-grandkids-wrong-so-I-need-to-tell-you-how-to-do-it-better-than-you-are type either. So we really enjoy it when we get to see her. And to top it all off, this is the first time she has seen babyboy! So that was so much fun. She came in Thursday. And we chatted and chatted adn chatted. Friday woke up, hung out, and after lunch drove up to the dells to play at an indoor water park. So we spent the weekend swimming and chatting and just having a blast.
Unfotunately the trip was a short one - she left already :-( I'll miss her. The kids will miss her. But I have to admit I am freaking tired right now.
We ran around a lot, babyboy still isn't sleeping wonderfully and there was really no down time to nap during the day and get breaks. So it was go all day, stau up late, wake up with babyboy to eat every 2-3 hours, and then run around some more!
And now, my dh has a cold, my 3 year old has a runny nose since yesterday and my 6 year is complaining of it today. I don't feel all that hot either (although I'm thinking it's from lack of sleep).
I'm terrified we are going to have a bad week around here full of crabby, tired, people. But I have to say, I'm glad it will all happen after mil went back home. I would have felt so bad had she flown out here to deal with sick crabbies! She got to see everyone happy and running around and having fun! So that is good!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Walking ...
So I think I mentioned when getting blood work done for life insurance, we discovered dh has a high cholesterol number and mine is within normal, but it's almost the highest normal number you can get.
So dh and I are on a mission to change how we eat and to start exercising.
Well, that day to start exercising came yesterday. We both signed up for the www.walkacrossillinois.org program in an effort to get motivation.
Yesterday I walked 1.5 miles at the community center indoor track. Tonight I walked too.
Dh walked 1 mile with me yesterday. He didn't come today. He was busy - he needed to do work. I'm kind of bummed. I am worried about him. I know he will always be busy and I'm worried he'll keep pushing the exercise to the back burner. I do not want my husband having a heart attack in a few years because he was too busy to do anything to prevent it. Plus, it's nice having someone to walk with, ya know?
I told him that. That I don't want him to be too busy for this. I do not want my husband to work himself to death.
I have to say I like the walking. I feel energized after doing it ... which is a rare feeling these days! I think I will go over tomorrow and get another 1.5 miles in if I can. Dh's mom is coming into town around 2ish so I have to do a lot to get ready for that. But I figure I can spare a half an hour (okay so it would really be like an hour to get all the kids bundled up, get over there, walk, get bundled up again, and get home) for my health. So I can see my grandkids! Plus, maybe it will give me energy to do the last minute housecleaning I want to get done before she walks in. although, I'm sure she will be so busy looking at the kids, she won't notice the state of the house! But I still have to try!
and I can't wait until it gets warmer out. The indoor track is 14 laps for a mile. Yeah, 21 is 1.5 miles - it gets a bit boring by about lap, 4! But it's still too cold to be out with the kids (I think it's supposed to be like 20 with windchill tomorrow).
But when it does get warm out ... I found this site which I htink is pretty neat ... Gmap Pedometer!
Anyway, I have made it 2 days now! I'm kind of proud of myself!! LOL!
So dh and I are on a mission to change how we eat and to start exercising.
Well, that day to start exercising came yesterday. We both signed up for the www.walkacrossillinois.org program in an effort to get motivation.
Yesterday I walked 1.5 miles at the community center indoor track. Tonight I walked too.
Dh walked 1 mile with me yesterday. He didn't come today. He was busy - he needed to do work. I'm kind of bummed. I am worried about him. I know he will always be busy and I'm worried he'll keep pushing the exercise to the back burner. I do not want my husband having a heart attack in a few years because he was too busy to do anything to prevent it. Plus, it's nice having someone to walk with, ya know?
I told him that. That I don't want him to be too busy for this. I do not want my husband to work himself to death.
I have to say I like the walking. I feel energized after doing it ... which is a rare feeling these days! I think I will go over tomorrow and get another 1.5 miles in if I can. Dh's mom is coming into town around 2ish so I have to do a lot to get ready for that. But I figure I can spare a half an hour (okay so it would really be like an hour to get all the kids bundled up, get over there, walk, get bundled up again, and get home) for my health. So I can see my grandkids! Plus, maybe it will give me energy to do the last minute housecleaning I want to get done before she walks in. although, I'm sure she will be so busy looking at the kids, she won't notice the state of the house! But I still have to try!
and I can't wait until it gets warmer out. The indoor track is 14 laps for a mile. Yeah, 21 is 1.5 miles - it gets a bit boring by about lap, 4! But it's still too cold to be out with the kids (I think it's supposed to be like 20 with windchill tomorrow).
But when it does get warm out ... I found this site which I htink is pretty neat ... Gmap Pedometer!
Anyway, I have made it 2 days now! I'm kind of proud of myself!! LOL!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I jinxed myself ...
I should have never posted before that things were starting to feel normal around here. Because I lied.
Well, anyway, things here have just been crazy.
Needless to say, as I mentioned in the last post, we took babyboy to urgent care and were sent home. The next morning we went to our doc becuase he still looked like he had labored breathing. Well, our ped basically sent us right to the ER right there. She was upset they didn't just do that the previous night at urgent care.
So baby boy was in the hospital from Thursday to Saturday night. It just sucked.
I felt so bad. When we originally got to the hospital he was dehydrated, retracting badly, his heart rate was very high and his oxygen levels were low. I felt so bad for him (and really kind of pissed at the urgent care doc from the night before).
The good news is that we are home now and he is doing a lot better. Still getting meds at home, still stuffy and needing mommy and daddy to suck out some boogers. Which, as you can only imagine, he HATES! LOL!
I'm glad we are home, but it's been a crazy last week around here.
And I feel like I'm losing my mind again. Everytime I think I finally have things figured out around here, I don't. I feel like I'm losing it. Will I ever feel like things are normal again? Will I ever sleep again? Will I ever have more than just a few minutes to myself? It seriously does not feel like it.
Going from 2 to 3 kids has been VERY hard for me. The kids things are now just overwhelming. And then with everything else that needs to be done ... it's just not all getting done,and if things do get done around here, chances are dh did it and not me. I feel like all I do is nurse and try to sleep if I can. Between those two things are some crazy awake periods where I'm trying to school theoldest, keep the house semi-clean, get some laundry done, get kids to ballet, awana, art, drama, choir, and other classes. I can't wait for summer. No classes, no school, just kicking back and getting outside to play!
Well, anyway, things here have just been crazy.
Needless to say, as I mentioned in the last post, we took babyboy to urgent care and were sent home. The next morning we went to our doc becuase he still looked like he had labored breathing. Well, our ped basically sent us right to the ER right there. She was upset they didn't just do that the previous night at urgent care.
So baby boy was in the hospital from Thursday to Saturday night. It just sucked.
I felt so bad. When we originally got to the hospital he was dehydrated, retracting badly, his heart rate was very high and his oxygen levels were low. I felt so bad for him (and really kind of pissed at the urgent care doc from the night before).
The good news is that we are home now and he is doing a lot better. Still getting meds at home, still stuffy and needing mommy and daddy to suck out some boogers. Which, as you can only imagine, he HATES! LOL!
I'm glad we are home, but it's been a crazy last week around here.
And I feel like I'm losing my mind again. Everytime I think I finally have things figured out around here, I don't. I feel like I'm losing it. Will I ever feel like things are normal again? Will I ever sleep again? Will I ever have more than just a few minutes to myself? It seriously does not feel like it.
Going from 2 to 3 kids has been VERY hard for me. The kids things are now just overwhelming. And then with everything else that needs to be done ... it's just not all getting done,and if things do get done around here, chances are dh did it and not me. I feel like all I do is nurse and try to sleep if I can. Between those two things are some crazy awake periods where I'm trying to school theoldest, keep the house semi-clean, get some laundry done, get kids to ballet, awana, art, drama, choir, and other classes.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
I have a ...
friend! A real live friend!
I know this may seem like a silly thing to some people. we all have friends, right? Well, I feel like in my life I basically have a bunch of aquaintances. But since early college, I've never really felt like I had a good friend, the one you cna always call or bare your soul to. My relationships with other people were more on a superficial level. And then along came the internet, and I do have tons of friends on-line and they are woman I love and adore, but they are not here. Most are in other states and as great as e-mail, chat rooms, and message boards are, well, there is a gap there when you can't pick up the phone and say "hey, let's meet for lunch."
But I have that now. I finally have that now.
Someone about my age, with a little boy almost a year old, and is into crafty things like me and is very nice. They've been over here twice now. We went out to lunch once. And next week hopefully the kids and I will be going out to a little party she invited us to. We have talked about getting a sitter this summer nad taking a quilting class together. We are sharing baby things, ideas and all that stuff.
I know it may seem silly, but it's so exciting! I feel like I have someone I can pick up the phone and blab about nothing to or I can call and complain about the sleepless nights and wild children and the messy hosue and the laundry I've been avoiding all week. And it's so exciting.
And today for the first time since early fall I went to one of the mom's club activities. It was nice to reconnect with some old faces and meet some new. So who knows, maybe soon I'll even have two friends hehehee ;-)
I guess the point of all this rambling is that I'm starting to feel normal again. We're not on any kind of schedule yet. I'm still barely getting any sleep. I feel like the jump between two and three has been HUGE for me and I'm still learning how to deal with it all. I still feel very stressed honestly. But at the same time, it's not so new and the learning curve is starting to feel more manageable. Now I just would like to sleep. But babyboy is sick. Very stuffy, a little cough, and just overall miserable, which has translated into very little sleep for him and me. We actually went to urgent care tongiht because dh and I felt his breathing was starting to look a little labored. They checked and his lungs were clear (they even took an x-ray becuase of his shallow breathing) and it all came back okay. It was quite traumatic ... they put him in this thing to get the x-ray. I thought I was going to cry :-( Poor guy. the only down side is that the urgent care facility could not check for RSV. So basically they said watch him tonight. If he remains the same, to his ped tomorrow and if he starts to look worse or the breathing gets more labored, off to the ER we should go. I'm glad his lungs were clear though, but I worry about his breathing and his heart rate was on the higher side too. We'll go to his doc tomorrow and see what she says (provided he doesn't get worse which I'm crossing my fingers he doesn't).
Anyway, there is all my babbling. And its point is that things are starting to feel better around here. I'm starting to feel better. And it's a good place to be. I haven't been in this spot for too long now and I'm glad to finally start getting back to it ....
I know this may seem like a silly thing to some people. we all have friends, right? Well, I feel like in my life I basically have a bunch of aquaintances. But since early college, I've never really felt like I had a good friend, the one you cna always call or bare your soul to. My relationships with other people were more on a superficial level. And then along came the internet, and I do have tons of friends on-line and they are woman I love and adore, but they are not here. Most are in other states and as great as e-mail, chat rooms, and message boards are, well, there is a gap there when you can't pick up the phone and say "hey, let's meet for lunch."
But I have that now. I finally have that now.
Someone about my age, with a little boy almost a year old, and is into crafty things like me and is very nice. They've been over here twice now. We went out to lunch once. And next week hopefully the kids and I will be going out to a little party she invited us to. We have talked about getting a sitter this summer nad taking a quilting class together. We are sharing baby things, ideas and all that stuff.
I know it may seem silly, but it's so exciting! I feel like I have someone I can pick up the phone and blab about nothing to or I can call and complain about the sleepless nights and wild children and the messy hosue and the laundry I've been avoiding all week. And it's so exciting.
And today for the first time since early fall I went to one of the mom's club activities. It was nice to reconnect with some old faces and meet some new. So who knows, maybe soon I'll even have two friends hehehee ;-)
I guess the point of all this rambling is that I'm starting to feel normal again. We're not on any kind of schedule yet. I'm still barely getting any sleep. I feel like the jump between two and three has been HUGE for me and I'm still learning how to deal with it all. I still feel very stressed honestly. But at the same time, it's not so new and the learning curve is starting to feel more manageable. Now I just would like to sleep. But babyboy is sick. Very stuffy, a little cough, and just overall miserable, which has translated into very little sleep for him and me. We actually went to urgent care tongiht because dh and I felt his breathing was starting to look a little labored. They checked and his lungs were clear (they even took an x-ray becuase of his shallow breathing) and it all came back okay. It was quite traumatic ... they put him in this thing to get the x-ray. I thought I was going to cry :-( Poor guy. the only down side is that the urgent care facility could not check for RSV. So basically they said watch him tonight. If he remains the same, to his ped tomorrow and if he starts to look worse or the breathing gets more labored, off to the ER we should go. I'm glad his lungs were clear though, but I worry about his breathing and his heart rate was on the higher side too. We'll go to his doc tomorrow and see what she says (provided he doesn't get worse which I'm crossing my fingers he doesn't).
Anyway, there is all my babbling. And its point is that things are starting to feel better around here. I'm starting to feel better. And it's a good place to be. I haven't been in this spot for too long now and I'm glad to finally start getting back to it ....
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Just when ....
my day is not going well ... when baby didn't sleep the night before, when my other two dds were being loud and rambunctious and crazy all day, just when I was about to snap, I get a cold hard reality check. I get news that just breaks my heart and puts it all into perspective.
A friend of mine passed away basically suddenly and unexpectedly today.
A little over 3 years ago she was dx'd with leukemia ... she was 8 months pregnant. Basically they induced her and rushed her right away for treatment. Then she needed a donor. Amazingly they found one that was almost a perfect match. She went into remission. It was amazing. It was a long road though - not nearly that simple. To really tell the storyI would need a lot more time. But through it all,s he was amazing - up-beat, happy, full of love for God and so hopeful. I know if it were me, I would have entered some deep depression feeling doomed and constantly asking why me God, why me?
But not her .... not her.
In mid-December she went for a check-up ... still in remission and things were looking good. She was excited she would see her 30th birthday in January.
Well she did, but recently she had a few complication come up. But I guess I didn't realize how serious they were until today. Today when I found out my sweet friend had passed away. In a horrific twist of fate, it is also her oldest dd's birthday. She leaves behind 2 daughters, one son, and a husband.
I can't believe it. And I'm sitting here thinging why her God? Why her? Of all the people in this world, you had to take her? It's moments like this that I wish to hell life were fair. That bad things didn't happen to good people, that someone didn't make it three years, get a clean bill of healthy a few months ago and then have this happen. So suddenly.
I don't understand it. I don't think I ever will understand it. I know, I know ... there's a big picture out there, blah, blah, blah, we can't see it now, blah, blah, blah, it doesn't make sense now, but someday ti will, blah blah blah ....
I don't buy it right now. I just don't buy it. This sucks. I'm so sad and mad and just full of sadness and anger I just might burst.
But I know I can't. She was better than that and so I must try to be better than that. So I will try to just pray for her family and for her precious little babies.
I will try to not let the sadness out and let the anger go and to remember her sweet smile and her cute southern accent and to keep her spirit alive.
A friend of mine passed away basically suddenly and unexpectedly today.
A little over 3 years ago she was dx'd with leukemia ... she was 8 months pregnant. Basically they induced her and rushed her right away for treatment. Then she needed a donor. Amazingly they found one that was almost a perfect match. She went into remission. It was amazing. It was a long road though - not nearly that simple. To really tell the storyI would need a lot more time. But through it all,s he was amazing - up-beat, happy, full of love for God and so hopeful. I know if it were me, I would have entered some deep depression feeling doomed and constantly asking why me God, why me?
But not her .... not her.
In mid-December she went for a check-up ... still in remission and things were looking good. She was excited she would see her 30th birthday in January.
Well she did, but recently she had a few complication come up. But I guess I didn't realize how serious they were until today. Today when I found out my sweet friend had passed away. In a horrific twist of fate, it is also her oldest dd's birthday. She leaves behind 2 daughters, one son, and a husband.
I can't believe it. And I'm sitting here thinging why her God? Why her? Of all the people in this world, you had to take her? It's moments like this that I wish to hell life were fair. That bad things didn't happen to good people, that someone didn't make it three years, get a clean bill of healthy a few months ago and then have this happen. So suddenly.
I don't understand it. I don't think I ever will understand it. I know, I know ... there's a big picture out there, blah, blah, blah, we can't see it now, blah, blah, blah, it doesn't make sense now, but someday ti will, blah blah blah ....
I don't buy it right now. I just don't buy it. This sucks. I'm so sad and mad and just full of sadness and anger I just might burst.
But I know I can't. She was better than that and so I must try to be better than that. So I will try to just pray for her family and for her precious little babies.
I will try to not let the sadness out and let the anger go and to remember her sweet smile and her cute southern accent and to keep her spirit alive.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
